[Babii-LoLo]

Hey I'm really new to dating well I'm in like a 2mth relationship that's not the point I guess. There is no excuse.. I did some foreplay with another guy and I want to know if I cheated? And I also want to know why that happened .I love my boyfriend and I was appalled afterward and felt so remorseful but I can't stop doing it why is that. I'm not a slut or anything I'm 17 and this is my first relationship please help.

[HipHipHooray]

Hi Babii,

I find myself asking the same questions. I'm 19 and to be honest, I think we're just too young. It's too hard to suppress the urge to want to "put your self out there" and have single fun.
I think we're just too young to commit.

I could not stop thinking about sex with other people despite loving and adoring my boyfriend, in the end though I just had to break up with him. It's really really hurting, but staying and cheating would hurt him more.

My advice is to enjoy your single life while you're young, you're only 17! Eventually you'll get over it and crave stability.

- HipHipHooray

[aliceinchains88]

Well, I don't really think it is techincally cheating, but at the same time, it kind of is... there is a very fine line between what's cheating and what's not. It all boils down to what you think is cheating... well what you think and what everyone else around you thinks... example: one of my girlfriends was dating one of our guyfriends. We found out that she made out with a guy at a party when she was drunk... cheating? By definition, not really, but the way he looked at it, yes. I think you need to tell your boyfriend if you want to keep the relationship going. You need to explain to him how you really feel about him. But you also need to ask yourself if you really want to be with him. If you do, tell him that you want more intamcy in the relationship, because you may not be satisfied with the way things are going sexually with your boyfriend so that could be one reason why you are reaching out to other guys

[Krs]

Technically it IS cheating YES.
There is physical cheating, mental and physcological cheating.

Not to bring you down but what you have done is cheating...
Ask yourself... how would you feel if he enjoyed some foreplay with another girl whilst with you?

You are young and you learn from your mistakes..
I would tell your boyfriend what you have done, apoligise for you actions and if he is willing to carry on this relationship, learn together.
COMMUNICATION IS THE KEY

GOOD LUCK

[HipHipHooray]

A general rule of thumb to answer your question of "is this cheating"

Would you say or do it if your boyfriend could see/know?

[Fr_Chuck]

And if your boyfriend was doing this with another girl would you care??

I would say that it is hard to believe someone cares a lot about this person and do this without much regard, and how do you get into a private situation to start "foreplay" Just bump into them in the hall?

[Tuscany]

I find that if you have the ask the question
"Did I cheat?"

That probably means that you did on some level.

[grammadidi]

If you lead your boyfriend into believing that you are faithful and he is the only one that you are seeing then you are cheating, yes. Maybe you care for your boyfriend, but I don't think you love him or you wouldn't allow yourself to cheat. At your age, the best thing to do is to NOT tie yourself down with one guy. Date several, and don't sleep around or you will get labelled. The time will come when you will understand what love really is.

When I said my marriage vows to my (deceased) husband we had this read from Corithians in the bible:

"Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things; believes all things; hopes all things; endures all things."

Are you rejoicing at your decision to the things that you have done (and continue to do) with another guy? I think you and your boyfriend need to have a long talk.

Hugs, Didi