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Noone2014 · Apr 6, 2014, 10:58 PM

I don't know how to talk to my friends anymore after not speaking to them for a long time I just don't know how to. It's easy with my little sister she talks all the time. I find it hard to have a conversation with anyone even mum if people ask me a question sometimes I can answer but I feel very uncomfortable. It's hard to explain I just can't find the words everything I think of saying to start a conversation with my friends sounds silly in my head. I get so frustrated trying to think of what to say.

Homegirl 50 · Apr 7, 2014, 04:20 AM

This is one of the things counseling will help you with. It won't come overnight but it will get better.Say hi, speak when spoken to and it will fall in to place.

Noone2014 · Apr 7, 2014, 05:33 AM

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

This is one of the things counseling will help you with. It won't come overnight but it will get better.Say hi, speak when spoken to and it will fall in to place.

You would think it would be really easy to just go and say hi but it doesn't seem good enough. I tried a few times to talk or join in but I just can't I think about it too much. They deserve more than just a simple hi but I can't tell them why I stopped talking to them I mean they know it wasn't their fault I still sat with them just didn't talk. I went to counselling today not really my thing felt very uncomfortable with someone staring at me asking me to talk about myself felt like an idiot didn't really know what to say either. But it's suppose to help me so. I suppose I'm just asking what do you think would be a way to talk with my friends, I don't want to make it a big deal with them either I just want to be like normal and have friends to talk to. Confused and probably just way over thinking things :(

Homegirl 50 · Apr 7, 2014, 07:44 AM

You are over thinking. Give it time. Continue to sit with them, say hi make up your mind to reply to one comment someone makes a day. Things will fall into place. Continue with your counseling. That is one thing you can ask the counselor. He/she can help you with that.

Wondergirl · Apr 7, 2014, 08:41 AM

Originally Posted by Noone2014

I went to counselling today ... didn't really know what to say either ... what do you think would be a way to talk with my friends

Like Homegirl said, ask the counselor to help you with this. Tell her (him?) that you have been out of the social swirl for a while and need to get back into it again. Ask the counselor to role-play with you. She could be the friend, and you could be you -- that would show her how you are acting/reacting and speaking; then switch with you being the friend and she be you. That will give the counselor a solid thing to work on with you, so you don't sit there staring at each other.

Noone2014 · Apr 7, 2014, 08:58 AM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Like Homegirl said, ask the counselor to help you with this. Tell her (him?) that you have been out of the social swirl for a while and need to get back into it again. Ask the counselor to role-play with you. She could be the friend, and you could be you -- that would show her how you are acting/reacting and speaking; then switch with you being the friend and she be you. That will give the counselor a solid thing to work on with you, so you don't sit there staring at each other.

Thanks for the advise not to sure on the whole role play thing think I would be a bit strange and uncomfortable I don't know sounds weird. I've know my friends a long time I don't know why it's so hard to talk to them. But I'll keep on trying to I'm sure sooner or later I'll think of something to say that doesn't sound dumb!

Wondergirl · Apr 7, 2014, 09:47 AM

Originally Posted by Noone2014

Thanks for the advise not to sure on the whole role play thing think I would be a bit strange and uncomfortable I don't know sounds weird. I've know my friends a long time I don't know why it's so hard to talk to them. But I'll keep on trying to I'm sure sooner or later I'll think of something to say that doesn't sound dumb!

Actually, it's not as weird as it sounds, and will give the counselor something to chew on.

Certainly you must know things about your friends and their families, so you can ask stuff like how someone's dog or cat is doing or has someone's baby brother started walking yet. (You haven't been out of the loop THAT long, have you?) Or just be an interested listener and throw in a question or comment now and then about whatever the topic of conversation is. When I was 15, we talked about hair and school and boys (nothing challenging like astronomy and philosophy). Is that kinda of what you and your friends talk about?

Noone2014 · Apr 7, 2014, 01:59 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Actually, it's not as weird as it sounds, and will give the counselor something to chew on.

Certainly you must know things about your friends and their families, so you can ask stuff like how someone's dog or cat is doing or has someone's baby brother started walking yet. (You haven't been out of the loop THAT long, have you?) Or just be an interested listener and throw in a question or comment now and then about whatever the topic of conversation is. When I was 15, we talked about hair and school and boys (nothing challenging like astronomy and philosophy). Is that kinda of what you and your friends talk about?

I know heaps of things about my friends and their families. I guess what I'm really trying to say is I haven't spoken to any of them for about four months not that long. I just don't know how to say the first thing to them. I think about it in my head and it sounds weird to just walk up to them and say " ha what's up?" Or just even to say hi. Sounds restarted right scared to say hi to my friends just can't find the right words. And when I do talk to them I know their going to ask questions that I won't be able to answer. So I guess I'm a little scared to! But I miss talking to someone about stuff that's not serious everyday stuff

Wondergirl · Apr 7, 2014, 02:56 PM

Originally Posted by Noone2014

And when I do talk to them I know their going to ask questions that I won't be able to answer.

So come up with a general statement like, "I've been in a bad place mentally for a while, and I'm glad you're still my friends" or "Things have been been tough for me lately, but I'm glad...." If they push for more information, just tell them, "Not now. I can't talk about it. Please respect that."

Noone2014 · Apr 7, 2014, 03:13 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

So come up with a general statement like, "I've been in a bad place mentally for a while, and I'm glad you're still my friends" or "Things have been been tough for me lately, but I'm glad...." If they push for more information, just tell them, "Not now. I can't talk about it. Please respect that."

Thanks that sounds like a really great idea I never thought of putting it like that. So simple but I couldn't even think of that. Think I over think things too much too much time wish I could sleep then wouldn't think about stuff over and over again. Well I have school in about a hour so I just have to get enough guts to speak to them now I know what to say. Thanks

Noone2014 · Apr 7, 2014, 03:47 PM

God I feel really nervous, I go to school in a little while hope everything goes OK sounds great in my head but I am feeling very anxious about it. I don't think I want to go to school now think I'm freaking out just a little now. Maybe tomorrow I'll try

Wondergirl · Apr 7, 2014, 03:51 PM

Originally Posted by Noone2014

God I feel really nervous, I go to school in a little while hope everything goes OK sounds great in my head but I am feeling very anxious about it. I don't think I want to go to school now think I'm freaking out just a little now. Maybe tomorrow I'll try

"The longest journey begins with a single step."

You've got to start sometime. Make it today. Waiting yet another day will make it even harder tomorrow. We'll be sitting on your shoulder, giving you courage. I'm thinking you can do this! And let us know later how things went. I'm guessing your friends miss you.

Noone2014 · Apr 7, 2014, 03:58 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

"The longest journey begins with a single step."

You've got to start sometime. Make it today. Waiting yet another day will make it even harder tomorrow. We'll be sitting on your shoulder, giving you courage. I'm thinking you can do this! And let us know later how things went. I'm guessing your friends miss you.

I suppose putting of isn't going to help make it any easier just feel so anxious I suppose. I can do this why do little things always seem to be so big god their my friends should be easy after everything else think I just make things harder and bigger than what they really are. I just have to remember I'm just holding myself back, arghh!

Wondergirl · Apr 7, 2014, 04:03 PM

Originally Posted by Noone2014

I just have to remember I'm just holding myself back, arghh!

Glad you changed your mind and are going to school! I KNOW you can do it. And the anxiety will disappear after the first conversation. They will be so glad to see you back among the living!

Noone2014 · Apr 7, 2014, 05:07 PM

God I'm such a tool I totally freaked out. What's wrong with me mum has to come and pick me up in I'm the nurses office I don't know what happened I was sitting with my friends waiting for the right time to talk to them think about what I was going to say and I just freaked out. The bell rang for class and I couldn't even get up felt like I was going to pass out. Mums going to be pissed off she had work this morning.

Wondergirl · Apr 7, 2014, 05:10 PM

I'm so sorry! When do you see the counselor again?

Noone2014 · Apr 7, 2014, 05:24 PM

Mum doesn't look happy she's talking to the principal now. I don't know what happened think maybe its theses stupid pills they make me feel sick and I always get these headaches. I feel like my heart is going to jump out of my chest I just want to go home now

Noone2014 · Apr 7, 2014, 06:02 PM

At home now feel really silly, mums gone back to work. She wanted me to tell her what's wrong but I don't want to worry her and I really don't know what happened. I think maybe I'm mental or something :( cause now I can't stop crying. I just wanted to talk to my friends just be normal again.

Wondergirl · Apr 7, 2014, 06:14 PM

It sounds like you might have had an anxiety attack. The Zoloft, for your anxiety I suspect, doesn't kick in for 3-4 weeks. You have to take it daily and the same time each day to get it into your system. And the dosage will probably have to be adjusted.

Now, stop kicking yourself. Do some deep breathing. Lie on your bed and tense, then relax, various muscles -- foot, calf, thigh, etc. all the way up your body. Have relaxing music playing in the background. Think about puppies and kittens. ;)

Noone2014 · Apr 9, 2014, 06:21 AM

Well today was an epic fail didn't even make it to school keep stressing myself out thinking too much wish I could switch that off. Only two days of school left going to stay at home chill out got two weeks before school goes back gives me a bit more time before I get enough guts to stop chickening out and just talk to my friends