[carolmonroe38]

I've asked four of my male friends and they've unanimously answered "yes!"

If you agree, then should we even bother getting married? Can't we just live together?

If you don't agree, what makes you think you won't get bored?

[tickle]

Of course they would say that, but how old are they ? If young, they are only thinking of the next one and no thought to being in a long term relationship. Some people want, and enjoy being monogamous, knowing they have found their life partner, but sex isn't all that is on their minds, happiness and continuity is a big draw for them.

Some people don't want to tie the knot and that is their choice, it has nothing to do with getting bored with the same partner, it is a preference and their thinking probably is, why put a ring on it for happiness.

No, I don't agree with men getting bored with the same partner, it is a product of maturity and life experiences that puts them with the same woman for as long as it works out for them, married or not.

[Fr_Chuck]

There is and can be boredom, do they use sex toys, do they role play, if they do it every Saturday night, only in the bedroom and always in the same position, yes, boredom can happen.

They can get bored of a different partner every week, and miss a emotional connection.

Every couple is different, what makes one happy , may not another.

Each person has to make the choice that is right for what they want.

[ScottGem]

Like many surveys your questions are biased towards a specific result and don't take into account a lot of factors.

First, why do you restrict the question to men? Women can get bored with the same sexual partner just as much as men!

Second, why do you restrict boredom to sex? ANYONE can get bored with sameness. It doesn't have to be sex , it could be meals, activities, anything.

Third, why do you think marriage is only about sex? While it is an important part, its not the basis of marriage. Marriage is about love and wanting to share your life with someone, even sharing the boredom.

There are lots of ways to counter boredom, even in sex.

[talaniman]

Any one can get bored of a sex partner, but that's not the only, or main reason to stray. Incompatibility, and personal issues and conflicts can also have the same effect. I think it's the same for women as well as men, for just as many reasons though.

I don't see how living together as opposed to being married helps that but I suppose it's cheaper and easier to just leave as opposed to going through a divorce, but break ups can be just as messy and expensive as divorces sometimes.

[carolmonroe38]

Good point on the age. The men I interviewed are known to be very good in bed and very attractive. They are also between 36 to 45, two married, and two divorced. All have mature outlooks in lives.

I know 30 is the minimum to be considered a valid sample size, which is why I'm asking here.

As for a woman's perspective, I'll post one for women as well, Honestly, I hadn't thought of it.

My thought is if each partner comes, isn't that the ultimate goal? Does it matter how each couple gets there, whether it's the same routine, some variation of the routine, or a completely new repertoire? I do add novelty now and again. But my husband always want the same thing so, OK.

My impression is that men get bored because they're visual and used to having more partners than women. They can also separate sex and love. Therefore, they'll crave the excitement of a new partner no matter how beautiful or good her skills.

Or is it because their current partner wasn't good to begin with? That was the premise in the movie "Don Jon." I agree with the movie.

Do you agree that the boredom in the bedroom is just the last straw? If there wasn't so much conflict, that the marriage would still be strong despite the boredom?

I'm really interested in what everyone thinks. I appreciate all sane posts. Lol.

Women: do you get bored having the same sexual partner?

If so, why did you get bored? Was it the lack of novelty? Variety? Your partner not doing it right?

If you don't get bored, how long have you been with your partner?

Please include your age group: 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, and up.

[Wondergirl]

No boredom here. Age 68. Married 47 years.

Will I get a prize?

[Cat1864]

Rather than have two discussions on the same subject-Partners becoming bored in relationships-your threads have been merged.

The only reason I did not move this to a Discussion Board is due to its subject matter.

[carolmonroe38]

Rather than have two discussions on the same subject-Partners becoming bored in relationships-your threads have been merged.

The only reason I did not move this to a Discussion Board is due to its subject matter.

Sorry about that. I thought this was an adult site and didn't think this question would be taboo. I'm new and still getting a feel for the content. I'll be more careful next time. Thanks.

No boredom here. Age 68. Married 47 years.

Will I get a prize?

So there is hope for me? Lol. Hands clapping... :)

[ScottGem]

Good point on the age. The men I interviewed are known to be very good in bed and very attractive. They are also between 36 to 45, two married, and two divorced. All have mature outlooks in lives.

I know 30 is the minimum to be considered a valid sample size, which is why I'm asking here.

As for a woman's perspective, I'll post one for women as well, Honestly, I hadn't thought of it.

My thought is if each partner comes, isn't that the ultimate goal? Does it matter how each couple gets there, whether it's the same routine, some variation of the routine, or a completely new repertoire? I do add novelty now and again. But my husband always want the same thing so, OK.

My impression is that men get bored because they're visual and used to having more partners than women. They can also separate sex and love. Therefore, they'll crave the excitement of a new partner no matter how beautiful or good her skills.

Or is it because their current partner wasn't good to begin with? That was the premise in the movie "Don Jon." I agree with the movie.

Do you agree that the boredom in the bedroom is just the last straw? If there wasn't so much conflict, that the marriage would still be strong despite the boredom?

I'm really interested in what everyone thinks. I appreciate all sane posts. Lol.

Again, you are working from faulty premises, so your results are not valid. You still seem to think that sex is the backbone of a relationship and it IS NOT. The fact that you didn't even consider that woman can get just as bored as men shows your faulty thinking.

If you think orgasm is the "ultimate goal", then you know very little about sexual intimacy. The most important sex organ is the mind. And yes, "how you get there" does matter.

I suspect you have gotten your ideas about sexual intimacy from movies not real life. Hence your agreeing with the movie Don Jon. And your thinking that men can separate sex and love more than men can. If you want a more genuine perspective I suggest you watch the Showtime series Masters of Sex.

[Cat1864]

Sorry about that. I thought this was an adult site and didn't think this question would be taboo. I'm new and still getting a feel for the content. I'll be more careful next time. Thanks.

We have a wide age range of members. Adult Sexuality is the only board limited to 18 years old and up. We also have a division between Questions and Discussions. Since you do not seem to be asking for advice on the subject but rather appear to be wanting a general discussion, the thread would normally be placed in the Member's Discussion area. However, due to the more mature/adult nature of the subject, I put it in a board where we can limit the input from young teens.

On the topic of your subject matter, I have been married for 28 years 1 month and 4 days, approximately. I think a lot of people mistake contentment with boredom. They seem to think that if fireworks aren't going off every minute of every day that there is something wrong.

There is nothing wrong with relaxing and enjoying the more subtle shows of affection and intimacy.

[talaniman]

Are you bored for a lack of sex, or do you think your partner is bored with you?

[carolmonroe38]

Are you bored for a lack of sex, or do you think your partner is bored with you?

Both. He prefers porn over me over the last eight years. Together for 26 years.

We have a wide age range of members. Adult Sexuality is the only board limited to 18 years old and up. We also have a division between Questions and Discussions. Since you do not seem to be asking for advice on the subject but rather appear to be wanting a general discussion, the thread would normally be placed in the Member's Discussion area. However, due to the more mature/adult nature of the subject, I put it in a board where we can limit the input from young teens.

On the topic of your subject matter, I have been married for 28 years 1 month and 4 days, approximately. I think a lot of people mistake contentment with boredom. They seem to think that if fireworks aren't going off every minute of every day that there is something wrong.

There is nothing wrong with relaxing and enjoying the more subtle shows of affection and intimacy.

We have affection in our relationship. Just missing the sexual part. Or the lack of it. It was just interesting that all of my male friends who don't know each other unanimously gave me the same answer. My question to them was why doesn't my husband have sex with me anymore? We weren't talking about my relationship. It was just an out of the blue question.

[smearcase]

"Men cheat more than women because they have stronger sexual impulses than their female counterparts, a new study suggests."

I am surprised to read that this finding came from a new study. They could have just looked up any one of the many old studies.
The above quote is the conclusion of one of many of the thousands of studies that have been done of the approximate topic of your survey, and is from the article below.

Read more: Why Men Cheat More Than Women - Business Insider

No matter how much we try to equate the sexes, men and women are not the same Equal as human beings and should be equally respected certainly, but different instincts concerning propagation of the species, nurturing etc. That's just the way it is.

[carolmonroe38]

Again, you are working from faulty premises, so your results are not valid. You still seem to think that sex is the backbone of a relationship and it IS NOT. The fact that you didn't even consider that woman can get just as bored as men shows your faulty thinking.

If you think orgasm is the "ultimate goal", then you know very little about sexual intimacy. The most important sex organ is the mind. And yes, "how you get there" does matter.

I suspect you have gotten your ideas about sexual intimacy from movies not real life. Hence your agreeing with the movie Don Jon. And your thinking that men can separate sex and love more than men can. If you want a more genuine perspective I suggest you watch the Showtime series Masters of Sex.

I did post the same question after someone (you?) mentioned it but the discussion board added it to this post instead of creating a separate one.

My question is specific because that's what I want to know. It's a simple question that nobody seems to want to give an answer to.

I have sex so I can orgasm. Again, isn't that the point doing it?

"The most important sexual organ is the mind." This is not a philosophical argument. This is a matter of fact one. The question to you is, do you think that men (or women) get bored after having the same sexual partner after a long time? If so, why? If not, why not?

True, sex alone is not the backbone of every relationship, but sexless marriages is one of the top three reasons couples breakup or divorce. So it must be important.

You said I get my idea of sexual intimacy from the media yet you use Masters of Sex as a reference.

"Men cheat more than women because they have stronger sexual impulses than their female counterparts, a new study suggests."

I am surprised to read that this finding came from a new study. They could have just looked up any one of the many old studies.
The above quote is the conclusion of one of many of the thousands of studies that have been done of the approximate topic of your survey, and is from the article below.

Read more: Why Men Cheat More Than Women - Business Insider

No matter how much we try to equate the sexes, men and women are not the same Equal as human beings and should be equally respected certainly, but different instincts concerning propagation of the species, nurturing etc. That's just the way it is.

I agree with the article and, yes, men are more visual and have higher sex drives on average. I'm not offended that men get bored. I just wanted to confirm before I make a life changing decision. Thank you for giving me a complete answer.

[Wondergirl]

I have sex so I can orgasm. Again, isn't that the point doing it?

No, that's not the point at all -- at least not in a loving, committed relationship.

What if one of the partners gets a disease or is in an accident or develops a condition whereby he or she can no longer orgasm or even enjoy sex. Then what? And what should the other person in the relationship do?

I just wanted to confirm before I make a life changing decision.

So you're really just looking for justification to file for divorce?

[carolmonroe38]

No, that's not the point at all -- at least not in a loving, committed relationship.

What if one of the partners gets a disease or is in an accident or develops a condition whereby he or she can no longer orgasm or even enjoy sex. Then what? And what should the other person in the relationship do?

I have a disease that is under control. But there was a time when we both weren't sure if it can be treated. Realistically, had I continued to remain disabled, we both agreed that we would've ended up divorced.

The reason I asked this question was to find out why he doesn't want to have sex with me anymore. Instead he prefers porn. We're still emotionally connected and we have fun together. But he DOES NOT want to have sex with me anymore. We're more like platonic bestfriends than a married couple. This has been going on for eight years. When he blamed me again last night, it was the last straw. He said he doesn't get excited seeing my body anymore because he has seen it too often.

So, he can still have sex, just not with me. This is all new and I'm trying to figure out how to deal with this.

So you're really just looking for justification to file for divorce?

One of his brothers was married twice. And both wives left him because of the same problem.

His other brother's wife has been threatening divorce for the last 15 years for the same reason.

To be honest, I don't know what I'm going to do. This is sudden but unexpected. That's the best way I can describe it.

All I know divorce is not an option.

[ScottGem]

I suggested Master of Sex because you seem to prefer getting your opinions from entertainment media and that is a more realistic view. Its not that no ones wants to answer it's that the question is invalid.

[carolmonroe38]

I suggested Master of Sex because you seem to prefer getting your opinions from entertainment media and that is a more realistic view. Its not that no ones wants to answer it's that the question is invalid.

I used a movie as a reference once but you're assuming that's where I get all my information. I originally said four of my male friends said men get bored with the same woman after awhile.

I don't understand why you keep saying my question is invalid. I didn't present it in an "If..., then..." format/statement. I asked questions hoping for dialogues and explanations. I'm happy that I've gotten some straightforward answers.

Thank you for sharing your opinion and answering my questions in your individual way. We don't agree with each other, but I appreciated that you took the time to write a well thought out answer.

[talaniman]

Harshness Warning (Sorry no bright RED font)


Why is divorce not an option? Its not boredom you have described or alluded too but you buying into his reason for rejection that you know is absolute baloney. He isn't honest, just comfortable with the way it is but highly resentful for whatever reason. His porn has NOTHING to do with you, or yourself esteem, but his actions and I suspect your situation, the selfish b@st@rd.

Many couples go for long periods with no sex, either through injury and disease as WG said but what keeps them together is the minds are connected even if the bodies cannot. So if divorce is not an option then somebody needs to be told to shove their BS up their SB, and get over themselves, or get gone. And what's the life changing decision you are mulling over if divorce is not an option.

I have been married 37 years and BS is never a game we play ever. Brutal sometimes but honest communications is the rule not the exception and a lot of listening. Sorry if I am harsh, but make me understand why you take this crap from your room mate? Obviously your minds are not connected and sex won't change that. Go ahead keep blaming the porn, but he is the problem, and you are the enabler. Lack of sex is but a symptom of problems in other areas of the relationship that need to be addressed. For sure you have NOT worked together to resolve those issues to the benefit of you both, so please lots drop these discussions and surveys and get real.

Are you both going through some midlife crisis or what? Why are you allowing yourself to be blamed for his issues? So where are the kids? How many? Their ages please. I hate to be blunt but your every post cries out for truth, so lets get to it, and stop this dancing debate. This ain't philosophy class.

Your survey has no relevance to YOUR situation. But you can get answers and suggestions when you get to the point.

>Sorry,I know its difficult<