[andrewstanz]

First I hope no one sees me as an a$$ here. I'm not stringing this girl on or anything like that. I just don't feel anything for her anymore and that hurts me but I also know I need to end it. I have been in a 1 year relationship with this girl and we got into it quickly and within a month or so we were saying we love each other and wanted to be together and get married.

I felt this way but lately I realized that this is not what I wanted. I don't feel what I felt before and I know I need to end things because I can't string her along. My problem is I don't want to damage her. We talked constantly about our life and how it's designed around each other and how we'll get married and have kids and be a happy family for the rest of our lives and that she wants to be with me forever and I just don't know how to break up with her. I don't want to hurt her but I can't let this go on.

Right now she's away and I have no way to contact her for the next few days (until Sunday). How should I end things with her? Please any advice would help.

[Alty]

Honesty is the best policy. Sit her down and tell her that although you care about her, you're no longer in love with her, and you don't feel it's fair to her to stay in a relationship when you know it won't be forever.

There's no way to break up with someone that's not going to hurt. No matter how nice you are, it's still going to hurt.

Do make sure that she knows that this isn't a break, she should get on with her life without you in it, because there's no hope of getting you back. That's the problem with most breakups and the reason we have so many broken hearted people coming here asking how to get their ex back. The ex doesn't make it clear that it's over, or continues to contact the person giving them false hope that things can be mended.

The best course of action is to be honest, and then go no contact, for her sake and yours.

Good luck. It's never easy breaking up with someone, but it's much better to let them go if you don't see a future with them.

[smoothy]

Like ALty says.. best to just come out with it... but be nice about the way you say it. Its going to hurt her no matter what you say, so at least show her her respect by being as nice as you can about it.

[talaniman]

Be nice and gentle as possible but its going to hurt. No way around it. The sooner you are honest the better.

[carolmonroe38]

I totally agree with Alty. Good luck.

[Fr_Chuck]

I perhaps will not be as nice, how long have you known, you do not feel for her. You say you are always talking about marriage, a life together?? Are you still talking like this, even after you knew, you lost feelings?

If so, yes you were stringing her along, with lies. With that said, if you talk deeply, and was losing or worried about feelings, why did you not talk about that also.

Is it just her being gone, or did something happen, to make you change your mind ?


Would counseling or something help make you find feelings ? Real love just does not end, it dies for reasons.