[B2008]

Ok where do I start.. I have been in a relationship the last year with a guy who was in a relationship for the last 14 years , I am a single girl and I believed him when he told me that things were not working out between him and his wife :rolleyes: for the last year he has left her abot 10 times and came back to me and each time I took him back.. I know but was just following my heart and not my head.. My family say he is only using me and his family just wants him to be back at home and be a family and think I am not good enough for him... now he is back at home his wife knows about us as he told her before christmas and she came to my home and punched me in the face!! He has texted me to say that he doesn't know why he keeps going back there as when he is there he just wants to be with me ! The same story that he tells me every time he comes back to me . He is now saying that he wants me to have a baby with him as he sayes that this will be a new life for him and he will be able to move on with a life with me . I don't know why I love this bloke as he could not make my life any better as I own my own home and have a good job , When he is with me I feel on edge all the time wondering when he will go again and how hurt I will feel again.. I have lost friend over this as they think I am mad always taking him back.. Why do I love him :confused: and how do I let him go ?

[Krs]

Only you know why you love him!

He is married... saying he wants a baby with you!
Do you seriously believe he will ever leave his wife?

You start thinking about a future together when he left his wife permentaly.

He has a cake and guess what... he is eating is ALL.

[B2008]

Thanks for the response:) I know all the facts I even know he will never leave as he had lots of chances to do so and did but always went back after a few weeks.. When I am with him he makes me feel special and loved... How do I let go and get on with life ?

[Krs]

Be strong and say NO.
I know its easier said then done, but think only you will suffer in the long run and not him! :cool:

[talaniman]

Stop listening to your heart and cut all contact with him. My gosh, how many lies does he have to tell you before you figure it out. You made a mistake, but you can make a decision to change your life and make sure he is not in it.

[Zeus2007]

Tell him you are preffo see what happens. He will run like a scalded dog I bet. I know this is a lie but he is lying to yuoby not leaving teash the SOB a lesson. OOOOoo tell him you got a lawyer to and want to make sure he gets tested as to the paterity so you don't have to go through any problems later on. HEEhee

[MaxyWelsh]

It IS possible to love two people at once (which is what is confusing him) but he needs to choose one of you to commit to that relationship. At present he isn't committed to either of you!
He has a history with his wife and children which is a very strong bond and difficult to break. I have seen men do it, but it's not easy and it has to be his decision.
Take a break from him. Distance would be good for both of you, and maybe you can both move on - he can commit to his family, and you can move on to someone who is free to give you all they have!

[B2008]

Hi All , Thanks for all the responses above... Update ! I was talking to him yesterday evening he told me he didn't want to loose me and wants to start a family with me he asked me to give him one more chance and again I said I would.. As I was going out last night he said that he would call up to me when I got home , While I was out he rang me and txt me to tell me he loved me and couldn't wait to have babies with me this was about 10.30 last night , On my way home I rang his phone about 11.30 and his phone was switched off and I haven't heard anything since then I did send a message last night to ask what was wrong and tried to ring again this morning and phone is still off.. This is not unusual for him as he often turns his phone off when he doesn't want any contact.. Again I am so confused and hurt... I have changed my number today and hope I can stay strong and hope he lets me get on with my life and stop playing with my mind...

[J_9]

Oh, the tangled web we weave...

Hun he probably had the phone turned off because he was either spending time with his children, or in bed with his wife (either sleeping or otherwise). You do understand that cheating is a two-way street, he is cheating on you with his wife. So, if you think that he will divorce her and come to you and be monogomous, you are sorely wrong.

Do you realize the damage this will cause his children emotionally? Do you realize that he will do the same to you and your children (if God forbid you should ever have them)?

What you are doing is morally wrong!! He took vows before GOD to his wife, yet you think he loves you. Well, she thought he loved her too.

This is not just a simple case of cheating... It is ADULTRY and a sin. Look it up in the Ten Commandments.

So, with all that said. Please stick to the plan you have. Don't call him, don't text him. NO CONTACT!!

Take some time to reflect on what you want out of life. I am sure you don't want someone who won't be there for or with on on Christmas or New Years. I am sure you want someone who will come home to you every night and tell you how wonderful you are... someone who will buy you gifts for your birthday.

Stay strong, and stay gone. Get into a healthy relationship.

[talaniman]

It is your own choices that are making you confused and miserable. Make better choices or sit in your own confusion.

[alizeblu]

You want to know that truth?

You cant.

There's no possible way for you to stop loving the guy.

Just how love goes... love cares for nothing but itself. That's it. There's nothing else.

There's some hope though, one day something is going to click in your head, then you will finally fall out of love eventually leaving him.

Yea sucks but hey, maybe if you were strong enough to leave him on your own...



Hmmmm??