[faithinmyself]

I have been married for 26 years. I got married when right after turning 18 and got out of high school. He always worked nights and I worked days. We have never went on vacation and he has always went fishing with his fiends every year on our anniversary. I feel I missed out on life and need to start living. Feel passion and a reason for living. You could say it is because my father was just given 3-6 months to live, my 2 children are now getting older and don't need me as much and my life is boring. I told my husband about 3 months ago and told me he did not know what to do without me because of sex and laundry. I did not go at that time I quess I was not ready but that should have been a hint. Now he tells me he thought I was only kidding then. I asked him again about 3 weeks ago and he cried and told me that he loves me etc... Also got the guilt going that he would lose the house and everything he ever worked for and he would be left with nothing. We are not well off money but we are doing OK. My husband always tight with money and once the kids came I still had to pay all the expenses and I got behind. He blames me and that was OK. So now he is giving me a little money and being nice but still we never do anything together but sex and I want me. He tells me he loves me and demands that I tell him I love him. I feel guilty when I tell him that but it is easier. I want to leave but he cries and begs me to stay because he has no where to go. ( I have my mothers) and he would lose everything. I don't want to live this way anymore and don't know how to tell him without him making me want to stay for his reasons. I have went though all the reason to stay and to go. Not many to stay. I realize this will be a whole new way of life and I'm ready... Please give me your advise. Thanks

[Fr_Chuck]

Actually what the two of you need is marriage counseling and working at a relatinship, it sounds like he is trying to give some,

Kids bigger now ? Well can you chage jobs and work a night shift to, so you will be on the same schedule ? Have you spoken to him about him changing shifts.

But the spark goes out of many marriages after 5, 10, 15, actually the spark goes out of most, and it has to be worked at.

[B2008]

Life is two short ! You have already given him 26 years of your life and have 2 lovely children to show for it.. I think you have done your duty and if he is only worried about sex and who will do his laundrey well then that's your answer . You owe this man nothing in fact he owes you for all you have given him in the 26 years you have been together. You cannot change the past but you can control your future and do you really want to waste another 26 years keeping your husband happy by giving him sex and doing his laundry... We will be long enough dead so I really hope you have the strength and courage to do what will make you happy in life and experience the whole new exciting and wonderful life you will have and hopefully one day meet someone who will appericate you and treat you the way you deserve to be treated xxxxx

[talaniman]

The longer you listen to him the less you will make your own decision. 26 years is a long time not to have honestly communicated and worked out something that works for you both and now you must make a decision to get out or get help. Even if he will not go to counseling with you I think it will benefit you. At least stop living that lie about love you have been in for the past few months.