[peechy26]

So my boyfriend has been spending alot of time with his ex. I gave him a warning that he's doing too much with her. Yesterday was her birthday and she posted a pic on the net, holding his hand while they went to lunch. He was supposed to come to my house that evening but he stayed out with her for the rest of the night. He had been emailing me all day apologizing but I've been pretty much cursing him out. Should I break up with him? Should I try to work it out? What should I do?

[Wondergirl]

Should I try to work it out?

Work out what? It seems clear he is back with his ex. Move on without him. I wouldn't even bother to warn him, confront him, talk with him, cajole him, wheel and deal with him, or try to make him apologize any more. I just would never speak to him again.

[Alty]

Why is he sorry? Is he sorry because he went to spend time with his ex when he was supposed to be with you? Is he sorry that he doesn't feel the same way for you that he does for his ex? Is he sorry because it's just easier to say sorry than to tell the truth? Is he just a sorry human being?

Bottom line, he chose her over you. Obviously he still has feelings for his ex. More feelings than he has for you, otherwise he would have blown off her birthday party, and been with you instead. He chose her, not you. He'll continue to do that because he's not over her, and she's not letting him get over her.

You're just a safety net so he doesn't have to be alone.

[peechy26]

That makes perfect sense. He's been apologizing for being "weak" so he says. We've been togeather for 5 years and she's been bothering me almost half the time we were togeather.

[Fr_Chuck]

I agree, he may want to date both of you. Who knows, but he is only sorry that you are mad, and since it appears this has happened before. He assumes he can say sorry, and you take him back.

If she is really an EX, he should not even be seeing her. (unless they have kids) and then only to pick up kids or discuss them

I have no idea why this is even an issue, he should have been dumped long before this.

[smoothy]

He wants to have his cake and eat it too... and apparently is. If you aren't engaged... then there is no expectation of exclusivity. You did say boyfriend...not fiancee.

[ML1704]

To be honest, you should break up. It sounds like he wants the best of both worlds. The ex girlfriend doesn't seem to mind that you are in the picture. Holding hands? 100% unacceptable.

[KatyJ]

I think that you need to move on from this guy. She's his ex. Lunch would suffice if they are still friends but inappropriate body contact is a no no. For her to post that picture of them hand holding (which is a definite no no), is inappropriate. It's like rubbing it in your face that she was picked over you.

Do they have a child together? We're they friends for a long time? Why is he still in her life? And do you want to constantly deal with this issue especially when it's obvious you are not the number 1 girl in his life.