Check out some similar questions!

sillygirlmad · Feb 26, 2014, 01:52 AM

I am over 16. I have been in a relationship since 2 and a half years. We kissed last year, when I was sure that he is the right guy. Since then we have met many times and have kisses frequently. Some days back, after such long relationship, while kissing, he touched my breasts, from above the dress. I liked it. Then after some days, he put his hands in my dress and touched my breasts above the bra. I told him up to this extent, its okay, and he must not go beyond this. He is nice and comforted me that he will do beyond this when we marry, after 8-10 years. So I just want to know that should I continue to be more elegent with him liking taking off my top for him to touch my breasts above the bra and my shoulders and my stomach. Or I should remain protective and wait for 10 years... is this lust or our love will last long?

Fr_Chuck · Feb 26, 2014, 01:56 AM

How much older than 16 ? Why being secret about age ?

And at 16, it would be 8 or 10 years to marriage ? Why?

But if you are already touching, it starts growing little by little, this is hormones and lust. Love does not require sexual contact but gets blamed for it. Sexual desires is what causes this, or sometimes fear of rejection if you don't

Only you, know your moral and ethic codes and only you know what you are willing to do and what you require to wait.

You can only do it One time ( for the first time)

sillygirlmad · Feb 26, 2014, 02:50 AM

I think it love only,. coz we have been together for 2 and a half years... and he really cares for me and loves me... he has never demanded for intense touching... but I know it well that he wishes a bit intimacy... what I think.. I should put bit restrictions... but allow him touching my stomach.. shoulders... and above the bra... what do you say.. pls help

Homegirl 50 · Feb 26, 2014, 07:43 AM

This is not love, it is hormones and lust. If you don't want things to get out of hand and you end up having sex and getting pregnant leave your clothes in place.
It does not matter of you've been together 6 years, at you age, this is curiosity, hormones and lust, not love. This is not about what he wants but what is wise.

smoothy · Feb 26, 2014, 07:44 AM

Its lust... its impossible to be love because you don't have the life experience and maturity to be able to develop love at this stage of your life.

Fr_Chuck · Feb 26, 2014, 07:55 AM

Love is sitting with all your clothes on, maybe holding hands, or arm around other, talking or just doing something together.

sillygirlmad · Feb 26, 2014, 08:39 AM

So can you just give me some tips, so that I may increase the love between us instead of this lust... so that we live together for the whole life... coz I have known him so long.. and he is really a faithful and loyal person.. and in his absence his friends often say that he really reallly loves me.. I don't want to loose him

Curlyben · Feb 26, 2014, 08:40 AM

This site will NOT give that type of advice to MINORS.
As such this thread is now CLOSED

sillygirlmad · Feb 26, 2014, 09:16 AM

What is actually Love?. How to differentiate between Love and Lust?

smoothy · Feb 26, 2014, 09:53 AM

The differnces are subtle.. and difficult to put into finite terms...

When you have enough life experience and have dated enough people you will notice the differences... but its impossible to simply explain them to a teenager that lacks the life experience needed to understand them.

We are talking nuances and a very younge person wants to see things how they want to see them...and misunderstand the nuances....(thats not an attack, all young people do this until they have enough experience, and some people might take decades longer than most to learn it)

ScottGem · Feb 26, 2014, 10:47 AM

It is hard to define love. It is different things to different people. But one of the characteristics is wanting to do anything for the object of your love, sacrificing yourself to them.

But lust, on the other hand is fairly easy. Its nothing more than a desire for sexual satisfaction.

Sexual intimacy is a natural progression of a relationship, but it should only be entered into when BOTH are convinced that the relationship has progressed to that point. This means a long term relationship. Depending on the ages and maturity of the people involved it could means a relationship spanning multiple years. The younger a person is, the longer they should wait.

Also sexual intimacy doesn't necessarily mean sexual intercourse. Sexual intercourse should only be entered into when the partners are physically, financially and emotional prepared to have children.

talaniman · Feb 26, 2014, 01:44 PM

I think your parents are the ones to discuss rules and boundaries for good behavior with. Teens can always get carried away by the moment, and make mistakes for life. Less physical intimate contact, and more good wholesome activities, around church school family, or approved groups, helps the sharing caring and having fun and keeps you out of those situations where the lust rises beyond control.