[pennny1357]

Hi I'm not sure if this is the right place to look for help but I am in need of help right now. This happened a few months ago back in October when I went to my friend's house for a sleepover. She is not my friend anymore because of what she did of me. I was still sleeping and it was morning she woke up and then while I was still sleeping I have no idea why she did this, she lifted my shirt and took a picture and then posted it on the internet I don't know what website but on the internet! Then she told me and I saw the picture she took on her phone and I was furious like why would she do that! She said it was for fun, but even worse, she said she tagged my name and said it was my picture and now I am mad. So after that we broke up as friends.

Around 3 days ago my mom found the picture that my exfriend posted of me and then she got really mad because she thinks I posted it I did not and she yelled and screamed and punched me and asked me why I posted it I said I did not and she said I'm lying because she thinks I did and then I asked her what site it was on and she said I should know because I posted it but that is not true and I said my exfriend did it and she said to stop blaming it on her just to cover up what I did! But I was innocent and she won't believe a word I'm saying! She is now punishing me for this. I understand why she's mad, but what really hurts me is the fact that she doesn't believe me, it hurts a lot. I cried for hours after it happened. She won't believe the truth and I am being punished for nothing. She told my dad and now both parents are angry at me and kept yelling at me at the dinner table that day and I feel so alone because it feels like it is 2 against 1, I am standing up for myself and when I am against my parents in a situation like this, I feel like they are 2 huge monsters attacking me, the size of a crumb yelling, and just blabbering all this stuff at you. It really hurts a lot!

Now I'm having to face the consequences. She says I have to write a 5 page letter telling her why I posted porn, why I lied to her, and tell her I'm sorry for what I did! What do I write! I don't know what to do if I tell her I didn't so it, I am telling the truth but she won't believe me. If I tell her I did it (which I really didnt) , then she will believe me but I will be lying! What should I do now? I'm really scared and I just can't stand her anymore. She is driving me beyond craziness and I feel depressed. I have been crying myself to sleep and I am scared to come home everyday after school. I keep crying over this and can't get this out of my head! There is a hole in my heart - a big one. And I need someone that cares and to fill it up because I feel really depressed and need help. The pain just won't go away. What do I do?

[Homegirl 50]

I don't understand why your parents are so quick to believe this of you. Have you done something similar before or done something else to make them think you would do this?
If you were sleeping, wouldn't it be obvious someone else took the picture? This is something you should have told her mom and your mom about when this happened. This is serious.
I don't know what to tell you. Write about what really happened and what you should have done instead of accepting it and not being her friend anymore.

[Jake2008]

You need some intervention here.

Your parents should trust you more, and allow at least for the possibility that you could be telling the truth.

Their first call/visit should be to your ex-friends' parents to discuss what happened, with you, and your ex friend.

There is no balance to what happened, or the consequences, because you may not deserve what your parents are doing.

It doesn't sound like your parents believe you, and I have to wonder, like Homegirl said, if you have done something like this before. It does sound fishy, unless you think of two friends, at a sleepover, doing a really, really dumb thing. Kids do stupid things.

But, if you are telling 100% of the truth, seek assistance and support from a relative- aunt, uncle, grandparent, school counselor, the police, etc. in order to be heard.

As Homegirl said, this is VERY serious, particularly that the picture in question has your name attached to it.

[smoothy]

I have to ask this... how old are you, and why do they have nude photos of you? There are big differences between nude shot that shows your face of some other easily identifiable marks...and an anonymous upskirt with underwear that could be anyone.

If you are below a certain age...it might actually be a serious crime...not saying unautherized photos are ever cool....because they aren't.

[pennny1357]

Just to answer some of your questions, well first of all I don't believe I have done anything before to make them think I would do this they just think I did but I think they didn't believe me is probably I was quivering a bit too much while telling them I didn't do this since I was nervous telling them but I'm not sure. I'm 14 turning 15 soon and no my face isn't shown in the picture

[Homegirl 50]

You need to have your parents talk to the parents of this girl. This is a serious issue and the girl who did this needs to be held accountable

[Fr_Chuck]

No, you should not admit to doing it, unless you did. You can write a 5 page paper, tellng what happened, and explaining the problem.

The real and most mportant issue, is why you did not tell your parents at once, when this girl did that. You should have reported this to them, so they could talk to the other girls parents and get the web page taken down.

You allowed the photo to stay on the web and allowed people to know it was you.

At the point of not telling your parents and reporting this other girl, you do now own some of the blame.

[ScottGem]

The others were right, you should have told your mom right after it happened. But I have some questions about certain facts that don't make sense.
1) How does your mom know it was you if your face doesn't show?
2) What was your mom searching for that she found this picture?
3) What type of site was it where it was posted?

One other point. This was not porn. Porn is sexually explicit material. A picture of female breasts is not porn.

But I would kind of turn it on your mother. First, punching you over this is inexcusable. I can understand her yelling and being upset. But I have to wonder how she found the pic and how she knew it was you. I would seriously question her on that.

The fact that you didn't tell her is probably what is making it hard for her to believe you.

[tickle]

If your face was not on the photo, how did your mom know it was you. Distinguishing scars ? But that is a little far out, anyone can have them similar.

Why was she surfing the net? Was she suspicious, someone told her where to look ?

Some things don't add up.

[Cat1864]

I think the friend 'tagging' her name and saying it was her body may be enough for the mother.

There seems to be a lot of missing information between October and February. I am not certain how much you have told us is true and how much is exaggeration. When you say that it feels like your parents are two huge monsters attacking you, it leads to the question of smaller actions being perceived as much larger. A hand on the shoulder is perceived as choking or shaking.

I agree with telling the truth. The whole truth. Not just what you think they want to hear or what makes you look more innocent.

By now you do share some responsibility since you didn't have her take it down immediately and if she refused brought in the parents. You say that she became your ex-friend. (When did that happen? That morning or later?) After that you had no reason to try to protect her from the stupidity of her actions. You did and do have reason to protect yourself. Waiting this long and only after getting in trouble to straighten it out does look like you were more of a party to it than you want others to believe.

I do think you should get a fair hearing, but be honest about your own part in this.

[Fr_Chuck]

So much not said, sounds like a social medial site, where tagging is done all the time.
And perhaps, she checks on those type of sites on what daughter is doing.

But we have to guess these things.

[ScottGem]

So much not said, sounds like a social medial site, where tagging is done all the time.
And perhaps, she checks on those type of sites on what daughter is doing.

But we have to guess these things.

I thought of that, but such a site would act quickly to take down any nudity posted. But Cat's point about the tagging does explain how she knew it was the OP.

My guess is the OP was too embarrassed to tell her parents and hoped no one would find out. But if she were blameless she still should have told them.

[Homegirl 50]

Her next still should be to tell her parents and have them meet with parents of the girl who posted this. This girl's parents need to know what their daughter has done and she needs to be held accountable if all of this this true

[talaniman]

Its really simple, you write the 5 pages and make sure it's the truth. All of it. This is your chance to tell your whole side so take it, and even see that you may not have handled it well from the get go. I mean how would you feel if you found out about bad behavior months later?

Consider had you been forth coming when it happened, likely something could have been done about it then and there would be no need for the confusion now. You really need to own your part in this fiasco, as part of that truth. No way are you the COMPLETELY innocent victim of the actions of another as you have written yourself to be. Your mistake was as the others have said, you hid the truth from your parents and it blew up in every ones face. Especially your unknowing and clueless parents. You put them in a very bad helpless position that no parent wants to be in making them a victim too. Wouldn't you wonder what else your child has done and hidden from you, if they found you have hidden THIS from them? Of course you would, anyone would.

Hope you see that and do the right thing for yourself now. May not help with your punishment, but the whole truth is the right thing to do. Make it so.