[Kari_2]

I have been going out with this guy for 6 months now and I feel quite comfortable with him. He's really not like the same but the thing that worries me is that we do not talk about our relationship and I do not know if that should worry me or not, like I feel great being with him but he never mentions commitment etc. We see each other about 3 times a week since we are both busy doing our degrees ( he's 23, I'm 21) and I'm quite sure that it is not the friends with benefits thing (trust me I've been there) and also we are not sexually active. Also whenever I say I am going clubbing he comes along and I feel that I need 1 time per month to see my friends alone. To sum up, I know he is kind of serious however I do not know why he never brings it up. Should I say something? And if so what?

[talaniman]

Firstly, what do you want from him in the way of commitment?

[Oliver2011]

Isn't part of being in a relationship the ability to talk openly and honestly with your partner? You two aren't there yet. It takes time to get there. Question - does he see you as his girlfriend or just a friend?

[odinn7]

Why does everyone seem to have so much trouble talking to each other these days?

[Kari_2]

I don't know how he sees me that is the question. By commitment I mean not seeing other people etc, which I do not think he does but how can you ask what he wants in a way that he does not think I am some physco.

[Oliver2011]

I don't know how he sees me that is the question. By commitment I mean not seeing other people etc, which I do not think he does but how can you ask what he wants in a way that he does not think I am some physco.

If you just talk to him about what you want, where you are headed, and he thinks you are some physco, you either did something horribly wrong or you shouldn't be around him in the first place. I don't think either of those two things will happen. Open up and talk. You can't have a deeper relationship without talking.

[smoothy]

The point we are getting at... is why you are afraid to come out and ask him?

[Wondergirl]

When you have the conversation, lead out with "I" statements, such as -- "I really like you. We've been going together for 6 months now. I'm ready to make this an exclusive relationship. How do you feel about that?"

[talaniman]

The only way to find out what's on someone's mind is to ask them.

[Fr_Chuck]

I see the entire talking a big issue and a serious worry to me.

If you do not know how to ask him or talk to him about this. You are not ready to be in a serious relationship with him yet.

[talaniman]

The foundation of any interaction be it friends or more, is defined by honest communications. You will never resolve anything by unexpressed feelings, or concerns as they mislead and not clarify. FEAR doesn't help at all. Overcome your fear and get facts.