[Lamb77]

Me and my husband been married for four years. He says he still have feelings for his ex and that he feels guilty because of the way he broke up with her, even though he did not want the relationship. How do I handle this problem? I love him but it hurts to know that he's still hurt over how wrong he did her, and isn't taking my feelings into consideration. How do I deal with this?

[Fr_Chuck]

It depends on what style and method they use.

It may be letter writing, it may be inluding ex in counseling if they will come.

It may be to show him, how it is effecting badly his current, and how he is doing you worst by not moving on.

[talaniman]

First you ask him if he is willing to talk to someone, either alone, or together about dealing with his old feelings and past baggage. Four years is a long time to not have resolved old feelings. I don't think he can consider your feelings when he cannot deal with his own. If he is unwilling to get help, then you get some help to deal with your troubled spouse.

I think you let him know that you need the extra help yourself, and maybe he goes with YOU. Don't be surprised if he does NOT though.