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jamessg33 · Feb 21, 2014, 05:42 PM

I met a new girl at school a couple months ago, and we get along great. We have a lot in common, and we always have great conversations when we hang out. I always enjoy being around her, and I think I like her quite a bit. There have also been many signs she likes me as well. I've seen her stare at me and smile several times when she thinks I don't notice, only to look away and blush when turn to her. She's told me many things about her personal life, and has been eager to ask about mine several times before (ie. What kind of girls I'm interested in, am I dating now, etc.). Plus, there are a lot of little things she does that suggests she's interested: For example, I missed a call from her once, and when I got back to her, she went on for well over a minute about how my voicemail message was hilarious, and inspired her to change her own (everyone else I asked says mine sounds like a normal, boring voicemail).

I could go on much longer, but to be clear, she's giving off all sorts of signs that she likes me. The problem is, all we usually do when we hang out is go for a walk around campus, chat over coffee, or stuff like that. Whenever I suggest anything more (such a movie or having lunch sometime), she acts interested, but hesitates, and either tells me she'll be busy, or else puts off giving me an answer (saying things like "I don't know") until it's too late.

I've had girls give me flimsy excuses before, and I know it usually means they're not interested. However, this girl continues giving me the same signals, despite the excuses. Is she interested, and just being shy and indecisive? Or could she have a reason to act interested even if she really isn't (it doesn't feel as though she just wants attention - she knows plenty of other guys, and doesn't focus on them nearly as much as me). What could be going on? How do I approach her to ask without making it awkward?

(By the way, this has nothing to with the girl I asked about in a previous question, before anyone asks.)

talaniman · Feb 21, 2014, 05:57 PM

Ask her what's the deal. Why speculate and be confused? I think she is taking her time to decide about you. See what she says. Use a more direct approach and worry less about awkward.

jamessg33 · Feb 22, 2014, 09:01 AM

What would be a good thing to say when asking? I find that even when I get along great with someone and can talk to her easily enough, I suddenly have no clue what to say when this kind of situation arises - then when I try to be direct, I have very little confidence (thus the awkward part).

talaniman · Feb 22, 2014, 09:16 AM

If its YOUR own lack of confidence stopping your ability to express or communicate your feelings and concerns then I can only suggest you get some courage. Maybe writing it down first and reading it aloud a few times, even before a mirror, then without the aid of the paper a few more times could help you.

What are you afraid of?