[yogitab34]

Hi, I am in a relationship with my boyfriend from last 4 months. Recently he had been to his native land so I could not be in much contact with him. During this period I developed feelings for a guy who is my classmate. Our feelings were spoken out mutually. We got into a relationship and everyone advised me to slowly leave my boyfriend with whom I was at that time in relationship with. I tried doing it but I could not because I can't hurt him.

He came to know about my relationship with the other guy and I told him to as possible forget me but he was all depressed talking all sad, at that time I told that other guy that I need your support in this matter and he said exams are coming and they are important. The very night I was talking with my boyfriend I was explaining him that it will be difficult to end our relationship but it will happen. He was too sad and I was not getting that so I went back to him. The very next day I was thinking how to get out of relationship with that other guy and he from the front told me to go back to my boyfriend as he felt what my boyfriend was feeling.

That night my boyfriend after telling him what that other guy had said told me that the other guy has given his love to me in donation and he doesn't need his sympathy. He told me he needed some time and I had to wait for him now. All this happened during my exams approaching soon. I had not studied and I was all confused, sad. The very next day my boyfriend tells me to forget everything that happened and start new and we did for few days as my exams are going on. But now the problem is that the other guy and me though behaving normally had feelings for each other and were calling each other everyday after exams.

Yesterday our boundaries crashed and we confessed our feelings again. Today we and our friends talked about this matter and it became clear at last that I slowly and very slowly make my boyfriend realize that I no longer wish to be with him and then go back to that other guy. This way my boyfriend will not be hurt that I am leaving him for some other guy and I will be with that other guy I want to be with.

Please tell me am I doing the right thing or should I leave both of them. They both love me and I love them both. I am not at all able to decide what to do. I hope I get a solution. Please help me I am in very difficult situation.

[talaniman]

You have NO dilemma. It's a matter of choosing to be honest with yourself and stop cheating on them both. You don't love them, yet selfishly keep them both on a string under the excuse of indecision.

Consider yourself fortunate you have two fools who put up with your bad behavior. You keep saying you want the new fool, so be honest with the first one.