[Alty]

I posted about a very serious issue, texting or calling on a cell phone while you're driving, and a young friend, early 20's, that I used to work with, made a joke about it. It ticked me off. My son was almost hit by a car at his school today, while crossing the street at the schools cross walk. The driver was on his cell phone, speeding through a school zone, and didn't even notice that he had almost hit my son. Sadly, this isn't the first near miss my son, and other kids, has had.

I posted about this issue on fb. Here's my exact post:

"Would you be okay with your surgeon texting or talking on his phone while performing surgery on you? If not, why do you think it's okay to text, or talk on your cell, when you should be concentrating on driving?

Put the phone away, it's not nearly as important as the life you could save if you just paid attention to the road."

My young fb friend posted:

"I text with a phone in each hand and drive with my knees"

Now I realize this was a joke, but it ticked me off. Joking about a serious issue is not okay in my book. My reply was:

"(name deleted), you're my friend, but if you're serious, and you do this, we can't be friends anymore. I mean that. If you're joking about this, it's really not the place to do so. This is not a joke post, and I don't appreciate having it turned into a joke.

My son was almost hit by someone when he was crossing the street to his school at a pedestrian walk. Why? The a$$hole was on his phone! This is a serious issue, and deserves to be respected, not joked about."

He posted that he was joking, and does realize this is a concern.

My question, why do some people think it's okay to joke about a very serious issue? Is it their way of coping with something they realize is very serious, or do they just want to lighten the mood or make people laugh? Wouldn't it be better to either support the post, or just not post at all if you can't help but joke about it?

Was I too harsh with my young friend? Should I apologize to him, chalk this up to him being young and not knowing any better, or should he be apologizing, and hopefully realizing that there are certain things you just don't joke about?

[Catsmine]

Darlin'

Doesn't your heart get all dusty and dirty out there on your sleeve like that all the time?

You were a little harsh. Apologies don't seem to be called for, as he wasn't aware of the circumstances and my own attempt to lighten the mood kinda set the stage. I wasn't aware of the circumstances either, but the texting while driving isn't only unsafe it's un-legal in most places.

[Alty]

Cats, I didn't even see your post. Do I have to beat you up too? ;)

I did message him and apologize. He wrote back that he was sorry and understood why I was upset by his post.

Now granted, he didn't know that J had almost been hit. But my point is, should that matter?

If someone posts about cancer, and how horrible it is, should they have to post that they've lost family or friends, or have family and friends fighting this disease, for people to take it seriously and not joke about it? Isn't it basically a no brainer that there are just things you don't joke about?

[smoothy]

I personally don't have a lot of love for people who can't go ten minutes without a cell phone at their ear.

See them driving irratically all the time... almost hit other drivers...


I frequently scream out the window... "hang up the damn phone if you want to drive or pull over".

[odinn7]

Back in 2011 Me, my wife, and daughter were on our way to dinner to celebrate my daughter getting a part in a school play...that fun outting was turned into a nightmare by some sack of sh*t woman who ran into our car while she was texting. I got the worst of it as the pig drove into us on my side. My right knee cap was split in half, I broke my wrist, smashed my head against the side window....I was out of work for over 4 months...my wife twisted her back, sprained her knee, and got some kind of bone contusion that required all sorts of work for her ankle....my 11 year old daughter got the least of it...seatbelt burns and nightmares. As if it wasn't all bad enough, she tried fighting this in court saying it was me that drove into her. She was upset and argued it because of her ticket. Too f'ing bad...golly gosh, you got a ticket....you changed my whole life! And you endangered my family! She lost as there were plenty of witnesses and it was clear from the accident scene who did what. It was just the idea that she had the nerve to try and pass it off as my fault after all she did to me. To be honest, I was unconscious after she hit us but I kept waking up and passing out. I kept trying to get out of the car because my full intent at the time was to kill her (head injury, I wasn't thinking straight). She was lucky that I couldn't get out and if I could, I wouldn't have been able to stand. I still see her now and then driving along and I wonder who else she is going to try to kill because it will happen again. She is far too important to let something like a law about texting stop her.

Anyone that texts while driving...hey, you want to kill yourself? Fine, but leave me out of it. I have no love for anyone that is willing to take chances with other peoples lives like that.

As for why people make jokes....sigh...I am too often guilty of this as well. Most of the time, I don't even know why I do it. It has been a survival mechanism for me for years...without joking, I don't think I would be here. I do know that sometimes it is to lighten the mood. In most cases, it isn't even just to make people laugh...it's just what I do. Perhaps your friend has this same issue.

[Alty]

I'm glad you're still with us odinn.

I have to say that I'll joke too. If something gets to heated, I'll try to lighten the mood by joking. But never about something serious like this. At least I don't think I've ever done that. If I have, I'm very sorry.

[odinn7]

I know I have done it a few times when I shouldn't have and I really can't say why. After doing it, I knew....oh, dumb as$! You shouldn't have said that!....but by then, it's too late. I know it wasn't to undermine the situation or anything. I think I am just wired that way.

[Alty]

Well I did end up apologizing to my friend for reacting the way I did. He wrote back that it was okay, he felt bad about making a joke, and understands why I reacted that way.

I don't know why I saw red as soon as I read his post. I just felt it was not at all appropriate to joke about such a serious issue.

[odinn7]

You saw red because your son had been put in harms way because of what you were writing about so it was personal to you.

[Alty]

True, but he didn't know that. Still, like I said before, you don't have to have someone that's been hurt by something to be passionate about it, and it's just in good taste not to joke about something that kills a lot of people every day.

[odinn7]

Hey, back off woman! I'm only telling you what I believe set you off in that case. He didn't know that but because it was a personal issue to you that had just happened, you reacted more strongly than you probably would have otherwise.

[cdad]

Here in the U.S. many states have passed laws that prohibit texting while driving. Some have even banned using the phone too. In the real world you can't control others. People are going to do what they are going to do. Your part in all of this is to be as diligent as possible around others. Did you go overboard with your post ? No, the issue was a personal hot button for you. But when you walk that walk you need to be prepared for what others will say and do. It is not always an easy road to travel but you need to remember that the real important part is the message that you broadcast and really nothing else matters.

Having driven over 1,000,000 miles I have seen plenty to complain about as to peoples driving habits. You can't do anything about it but react to it. Be aware of your surroundings and always use caution.

[Cat1864]

We all have topics that put us on edge. That frustrate, anger and worry us and we can do very little about them which is why the negative feelings are so strong. Why it feels like someone making a joke is dismissing the subject as trivial and meaningless. However, joking around doesn't mean that at all.

For some people, humor is how they deal with extremely serious topics. It doesn't mean they don't see the seriousness of the issue or do not care about other people. It usually means they know themselves well enough to know that they will melt-down or blow-up if they don't release the tension in a less serious manner. Sometimes it is trying to bring a smile to a friend's face and lighten the mood so they don't melt-down or blow-up.

We need humor to keep conversations from becoming communication minefields.

[joypulv]

I'm on Facebook a lot, where seriousness vs joking collides all day long.
I understand your reaction; it's normal. It's over and you have both apologized.
I find myself being on both sides of this issue - wanting to joke about some things, and being very serious about others.
Thus I have to force myself to realize that most people are going through that too, and grit my teeth or lighten up.
We are in a new world of constant barrage of opinion at each other, not passively getting it from the media. Each of us is on a soapbox. It isn't easy. I get so worn out, I have to take naps.

[busymomma2013]

Thus is why I no longer have a Facebook...

[joypulv]

It's an acquired taste that for me is addictive... and it's a lesson.

[Alty]

Thanks everyone. Joy, your post really did hit home. I do admit that I often react to something before thinking about it. My fingers start typing before I let my brain think about the repercussions of what I'm posting.

I also realize that many people use joking as a coping mechanism. I'm guilty of that very thing. But I have to say, when it's a very serious issue, I normally do not joke around. I'd never post a joke on a post talking about cancer, or rape, or a child with a terminal illness or losing a loved one etc. First, I wouldn't find those topics as anything to joke about, and even if I did want to lighten the mood, I would just find a joke about those sorts of topics, to be in very poor taste.