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    15yearoldgirl's Avatar
    15yearoldgirl Posts: 49, Reputation: 5
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    #1

    Jan 22, 2014, 04:20 PM
    Does my best friend have an eating disorder?
    My best friend thinks that she's fat and she's one of the skinniest people I know. I keep trying to tell her that she's not fat but she won't believe me. I know it's how you see yourself that matters but I'm scared that she's developing an eating disorder or something. What can I do?
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #2

    Jan 22, 2014, 04:25 PM
    Most 15 year old girls think they are fat no matter how skinny they are. This does not denote an eating disorder.

    Does she eat lunch at school? Does she have any strange eating habits?
    15yearoldgirl's Avatar
    15yearoldgirl Posts: 49, Reputation: 5
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    #3

    Jan 22, 2014, 04:29 PM
    Despite the user name we are both actually 16 now and she's 17 in a few months (I just thought I'd point this out in case it made any difference). At school she rarely eats and she always says it's because she 'forgot her lunch'. The only thing I see her eat at school is carrot sticks and things like that. She is also vegan. Thank you for responding
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #4

    Jan 22, 2014, 05:29 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by 15yearoldgirl View Post
    Despite the user name we are both actually 16 now and she's 17 in a few months (I just thought I'd point this out in case it made any difference). At school she rarely eats and she always says it's because she 'forgot her lunch'. The only thing I see her eat at school is carrot sticks and things like that. She is also vegan. Thank you for responding
    Like J9 stated, most teen girls think they're fat, even when they're not. That doesn't mean she has an eating disorder, just a poor self image. Unless you've with her 24/7, see her starving herself, or binging and purging, or other things that indicate an eating disorder, there's no way to say if she does or doesn't have one.

    Could she? It's possible. Does she? No way for us to know. Heck, you don't even know and you see her every day.

    If you're concerned you could talk to her parents, but be prepared that right or wrong, you will likely destroy the relationship you have with her by doing this. I'm not sure I would do that based on the little you know about her eating habits.
    15yearoldgirl's Avatar
    15yearoldgirl Posts: 49, Reputation: 5
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    #5

    Jan 22, 2014, 05:48 PM
    But she does talk to me about it and she has tried to starve herself to lose weight before. And like I said, she very very rarely eats at school and when I go to her house she hardly touches her tea. She also doesn't eat bread and carbohydrates because she says that she will put on weight. I want to talk to her about it but what I'm asking is should I just come straight out and ask her if she has an eating disorder?
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #6

    Jan 22, 2014, 05:54 PM
    Ya, ask her. If she does have an eating disorder she'll likely lie about it, but ask her.

    You said she's vegan. Vegans don't eat bread. Just fyi. Vegans don't eat any animal products, including eggs, and milk, or anything that was produced by an animal. So not eating bread would likely be because she's vegan.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #7

    Jan 22, 2014, 06:58 PM
    Are her parents vegans too? How is her home life?
    15yearoldgirl's Avatar
    15yearoldgirl Posts: 49, Reputation: 5
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    #8

    Jan 23, 2014, 11:45 AM
    She eats no carbs at all. And her parents aren't vegetarian and her parents are always shouting at her. She has to do a lot of the house work and look after her younger siblings a lot because her parents both work late.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #9

    Jan 23, 2014, 04:33 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by 15yearoldgirl View Post
    She eats no carbs at all. And her parents aren't vegetarian and her parents are always shouting at her. She has to do a lot of the house work and look after her younger siblings a lot because her parents both work late.
    So she has responsibilities. What does that have to do with anything? Cleaning house and babysitting are a small thing to do for your family. Too many kids feel entitled to everything they have and don't think they should help out.
    15yearoldgirl's Avatar
    15yearoldgirl Posts: 49, Reputation: 5
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    #10

    Jan 23, 2014, 04:36 PM
    I know what jobs she has to do. Her partners are barely there so she has to cook tea every night, take them swimming, everything. And she's definitely not the type of person to feel like they shouldn't help out and all that? My question is that I think she could have a problem and that how should I address it? And when you say what does that have to do with anything, I was just answering talaniman's question :)
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #11

    Jan 23, 2014, 04:47 PM
    While its natural and normal for us to want to help a friend, sometimes we don't have the tools. I suggest you ask your friend directly and see maybe if there is more than meets the eye here. It comes down to how much help you can really give a person, and if they even want help, or think they have a problem.

    I think it's okay to express your concerns, and listen and encourage, but other than that you can do very little unless she let's you.
    15yearoldgirl's Avatar
    15yearoldgirl Posts: 49, Reputation: 5
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    #12

    Jan 23, 2014, 04:56 PM
    Okay thank you :) I'll talk to her and tell her that I'm worried about her and see where to go from there

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