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pocock5 · Jan 19, 2014, 04:16 AM

Hi all
I was wondering how often does a younger person (13-20) fall in love? More relationships fail then succeed at this age, naturally. But aren't we in the end all destined to have our hearts broken at some point? We can bounce back and recover and yet the chances are it will happen again. And so I ask you this what is the point in the first place? Thanks

joypulv · Jan 19, 2014, 04:49 AM

Ah, what is the point of falling in love... one of the most timeless questions of the ages. No one knows when romantic love started. Many species of animals show human-like signs of being 'in love,' so is it something instinctual, part of survival? Loving as an infant helps us get what we need to live. Parental love helps perpetuate the species (and in humans, keep the children around to help out as parents age).

I have found that it helps me not to ask what the point of anything is. Life is the biggie. Love is second. Tragedy is third.

Yes, love hurts. You can't breathe, eat, sleep, stay awake, or get that heavy weight off your chest. You don't know which sock to put on first so you go back to bed. You cry, you don't cry, it's all the same. Time is a gazillion times longer than it should be. The pain will never end.

If you think that unrequited love hurts more between 13 - 20, you'd be wrong. Wait until you've been with someone for 10 or 20 years and you get dumped out of the blue.

The cure: Time. Trite but true. And getting friends and family to keep you sort of passively occupied, dragging you wherever they go while not expecting anything of you, and NOT trying to cheer you up! YOU have to tell them this. This covers the usual pitfalls of making you feel worse because they are trying and you want to oblige, and making you feel worse because you can't cheer up. (Those sound the same but aren't.)

talaniman · Jan 19, 2014, 06:29 AM

What's the point you ask? It' fun and thrilling. Helps you grow and learn to deal with yourself. Then you can deal with others and the things life throws at us. Not only what makes us happy, but the things that makes us sad also. We have to go through and deal with both in life.

Kind of natural for humans to connect with each other on many level, just as its normal to be disconnected. You learn as you go and young people have a lot of growing pains to go through. You just never know what's next. Finding love and living happily ever after are fairy tales for kids. Healthy adults find happiness in living the challenges of life, be it good times or bad. Enjoy the good, deal with the bad and in time it's all good. Thrive and survive and have a life that you enjoy that gets you through those rough times.

Keep thriving and surviving and you will see what I mean. Break ups always suck, until the next opportunity at romance. Waiting is the hard part. So enjoy that too.

pocock5 · Jan 19, 2014, 03:25 PM

Is love unconditional and spontaneous? Can it happen to anyone at anytime, in spite of age? OR do you need to take the small steps and go through several relationships?

15yearoldgirl · Jan 19, 2014, 04:09 PM

At the age of 13 you have to consider whether they really know what 'love' is. At a young age people tend to start dating and declare that they love each other after so little as a month so if this is what you count as love then maybe 5+ times between those ages? However if you see love as meaning that you're in a serious relationship and possibly want to marry and have children etc then I would say once, maybe twice between 13-20? Obviously there's no set number, it's different for everyone, and it depends how you define 'falling in love' :)

talaniman · Jan 19, 2014, 04:33 PM

Originally Posted by pocock5

Is love unconditional and spontaneous? Can it happen to anyone at anytime, in spite of age? OR do you need to take the small steps and go through several relationships?

When you are young you love for fun, but as you get older its commitment and a lot of work. Between adults it's neither unconditional (conditions are always changing in the adult world), or spontaneous (too many expected/unexpected routines and expectation), its hard work through commitment, and adjusting to whatever life throws at you.

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