[jessicanguyen12]

When I was 12 and my little sister was 5. I asked her about masturbating, then how to do it. We would both masturbate together and show each other how we would masturbate by touching each other genitals. After she asked if she could massage my butt. Then I agreed, surprisingly. No I didn't teach her about massaging butts, I didn't know you could massage it when I was 12. No force/hitting was involved. But due to her age, I think it is molesting. This didn't go on for a long time, (only did it around 3 times in all about a week) I finally realize it was wrong few days later and I told her "Let's stop doing this.". It stopped and we did not do it ever again. Definitely not planning to either. I had no attraction towards her. I feel really guilty. Is this consider as any type of molesting/sexual abuse/assault? Please be honest. Also, what should I do to help my sister if it have affected her? How do I get rid of the guilt I have?

[Jake2008]

I think there is a difference between innocent sexual curiosity of children, of the same age, and being sexually molested by a person 7 years older.
That you were 12, and she was only 5, moves what you did, into a sexual assault.
That you showed her how to masturbate, and masturbated with her, three times, is disturbing. Surely you knew it was inappropriate.
It is more likely than not, that the 5 year old would not have approached you, and initiated sexual touching.
This seems like one of those situations that when this 5 year old grows up, she may have an awareness of what you did to her, as well as her own guilt in feeling responsible for letting it happen, although she would have been too young to make that call.
Had your behavior been seen by an adult, you would have been dealing with what you did then, as opposed to getting away with it.
There are consequences beyond the setup, the behavior, and hiding the activity- as in it was a secret between the two of you most likely. I doubt you wanted her to talk to your parents about what you did.
The consequences of being abused are far too complex and difficult to address here. Maybe you have already done some research.
I recommend that you seek counseling. What you have done needs to be addressed, and the best way to go about this is to seek guidance and support.

[Fr_Chuck]

Is it affecting her, have you discussed it with her as an adult.

But yes it is molestation, since a 12 year old should know better..

[jessicanguyen12]

@Jake2008 True. I really hope she wouldn't turn like that when she grows up :/.. Yes it was a secret, since no adults had saw that. No, I didn't tell her not to tell my parents. I was planning to tell my parents, and still am planning to. I have done research but still is confuse of what will happen. So what I did was molesting, abusing, and assaulting? Would I be in juvenile for what I have done? Thank you for your advice and honesty, most likely I will go counseling once I tell my parents.&nbsp;<br><br>@Fr_Chuck I wasn't that 12 year old that knew better... I'm not sure if it affected her. She's not a adult. It happened 3/4 years ago. Thank you for your honesty.&nbsp;

[ScottGem]

I'm a little confused about this. First, are you both female? Second, did you actually teach her, was she a willing participant?

While I would agree this borders on molestation, I don't think there is any criminal activity here. But I do think you need to confess to your parents and both of you get counseling.

[mogrann]

I am glad you feel guilt. I hope you never get rid of it as you molested a 5 year old. Now after saying that I think you need to get yourself help. You say you will never do it again and I hope not. I do hope you get counselling and get help with dealing with your memories.
I am unsure if you should bring it up as she may have blocked the memories out due to not being able to handle it. You could cause more harm than good. I say discuss it with your therapist when you go to see them.
How long ago did this happen and how old are you now? I ask this due to legal issues. I do not know the law but you may want to talk to a lawyer before disclosing to anyone. Maybe someone else on this thread can help out with that one.
Scott a 5 year old can not be willing participant. I am sorry there is no way!

[ScottGem]

You're right, willing was the wrong word. I apologize. What I was driving at was whether there was any physical or emotional coercion. A 5 yr old can be curious too.

[Oliver2011]

But a 5 year old asking about masturbation? Me being me is a little skeptical on that one.

[tickle]

Scott how could the sister be a willing participant if she was only five ?And if the other sister was 12 while doing this, yes, something is wrong with this picture and it is molestation. A 12 year old should know better.

Jessica, how old are you now? You must get this out in the open with your sister and parents to get some kind of closure.

[tickle]

@scott, yes this curiousity starts around five for body parts.

[Oliver2011]

Body parts curiosity yes. Sexual activity curiosity - I am not convinced.

[smoothy]

I'm with Tickle and Oliver on this... a younger child is easily influenced by older people... and 12 is still an older person. Two curious 5 years old is one thing... a 12 year old and a 5 year old is far, far different.

[tickle]

At least Jessica is here for help. Think of all the others that have not, and there are probably many. This is common.

[Oliver2011]

I am not judging the situation. I am just skeptical of the facts given.

[smoothy]

I praise her for recongnising this was wrong and trying to get help... thats a step in the right direction.

[Cat1864]

In her second post, she states this happened "3/4 years ago." So Jessica is only about 15/16 now and her sister would be 8/9 years old.

While this would be considered molestation by many people, I am keeping in mind that both are girls were children. I am not saying it wasn't wrong. But I have a feeling there is a lot more to the story and Jessica's background. For both a 12 year old and 5 year old to both know about 'masturbation' makes me wonder about the adults in their lives. Not necessarily the parents. I wonder if this goes a lot further than these two girls.

It is easy to say that the 12 year old should know better. However, if it were the 12 year old and a 19 year old, would the 12 year old be handled differently? Older at 12 years old isn't necessarily more mature or adult.

I am not quite certain that Jessica is remembering events the way they actually occurred. I think the best solution would be for the girls to get help. I don't know if that starts with telling parents or another trusted adult. I do know that Jessica needs help as much as her sister does and both need understanding.

[smoothy]

I think by 12 most already know about masturbation... at least something about it. They would figure it out by themselves by that time... but at 5... I doubt it, though I have heard credible accounts to the contrary. But if a 5 year old is teaching a 12 year old anything....then something very wrong has been occuring.

[Cat1864]

My issue is with using the word 'masturbation' when talking to her five year old sister. Exploring what feels good is different than using correct words for the action. This is why I am not certain what happened or how.

Shame and guilt with fear added in can cause children to create or tweak memories. There is usually a foundation of reality but sometimes things aren't quite the way they are remembered. That's why I can't shake the feeling that something is 'off' about this case.

[smoothy]

I agree... but these days there are a lot of sources they could have picked that terminology up... a lot of TV shows and movies for example. But I agree I also have a feeling there is a lot more to this than we have been told.

[jessicanguyen12]

@Scott Yes we were females. I wouldn't blame her even if she agreed, because she was still a kid. I asked her about masturbating, how to do it, then asked if we should do it together. She then said "yes". Thank you for your honesty, and advice.

@Oliver2011 You're right. I was the one who made the first move by asking her. It's okay if you aren't believing. To make it clear, it was my fault. Thank you for not judging.

@tickle Yes, a 12 year old should know better. I'm always questioning myself, why didn't I knew better. I'm 15. That is true, I saw a answer that have told me it is common and not much people have admit what they have done wrong. Thank you for your honesty, and advice.

@smoothy Yes, that's true. As a 12 years old, I still didn't know what was masturbation. But later on found out what it was when I was almost 13. No the 5 years old did not teach me. Thank you for your time, honesty, and advice!

@Cat1864 Correct about the age, and what I have done is wrong. There is more stories about it, which I will explain. Before this incident happened... in middle school, almost everyone would talk about porn and give out these websites to their friends. I was wondering what was porn, then I went on the site and watched. I was disgusted and stopped right when I saw it. My curiosity grew more of how it would feel when I constantly saw my own classmates re-blogging sexual posts. Then the incident happened. I did found out what masturbating was later on when I was turning 13, I probably started at a very young age by exploring. I think masturbating would be feeling pleasure that involves your private area, If I was exploring, it's masturbating, which leads to molesting because of what I did. I'm barely focus on the definition of the words I'm using because I'm feeling really guilty, know that I have molested someone, which labels me as a molester :( which made me feel really depress, and wanted to commit suicide, but I saw a post that said "Don't kill yourself, it will just make the situation worse" I started thinking the side effects of what might happen to my sister if things weren't fix. In summary, thank you very much cat1864 for your time, honesty, and advice!