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ar668 · Jan 12, 2014, 10:34 AM

I have filed for divorce. He left on 12/3/13 and took a car that is owned, insured and registered only to me. He would not cosign on the loan.  I received a ticket from out of state due to him parking in a tow-away zone. My lawyer said to keep everything the same and that he "has to" have the car. He does not work or go to school. The car has also been used by other people, apparently. I have a police report from when he said that he would rather "torch" the car than let me have it. I have my own car but my concern is that I've been paying almost $400 a month for a while now and I have no idea if the car is okay and who's using it. There may be other tickets in my name by now, I only found out about the one ticket because he didn't pay it. If you pay tickets the owner doesn't find out about them until something happens to their Driver's License. DMV, police and court have all told me to report it stolen. Only my lawyer said to let this continue. I don't have keys to the car, as he stole the spare set and remote from my purse, in my car. If the court says he gets the car, then I accept that. I just cannot wait that long and not know if the car is okay. I offered twice to sell him the car so that it's not in my name. He hasn't replied.

stinawords · Jan 12, 2014, 11:00 AM

First, we need a general location of where you are. Laws are different in different places. Sometimes they are small differences but sometimes quite large. Next, you already have a lawyer because you mentioned it twice. If you don't trust that lawyer get a different one. There is no sense in paying someone that you don't think has your best interest in mind. Have you asked your lawyer why they think you should just let this continue when the other offices you have contacted say otherwise? Your lawyer should be able to tell you why they are advising you differently. It could be that because you are not yet divorced you are still legally married so it isn't considered stolen because your spouse is the one with the property.
I do realize that you don't want any more fines or tickets in your name. How soon is your court date? I ask because you say you can't wait that long implying that it is still far off. Divorces are generally messy. So, find out why your lawyer is telling you to do one thing and the BMV another (though do remember that employees at the BMV are not lawyers so don't deal in divorce) and get a consultation with a different lawyer. Be up front with the other lawyer about why you are looking around at other options so they can tell you if they could help you (or if they would advise the same thing).

ar668 · Jan 12, 2014, 11:19 AM

Sorry, I'm in NJ. I'm afraid that my driver's license will ultimately be suspended or revoked due to tickets he received.

ScottGem · Jan 12, 2014, 01:43 PM

You may be able to post a notice in the newspaper that you are not responsible for any debts or legal infractions incurred by your ex. Consult your attorney on the viability of doing this.

ar668 · Jan 12, 2014, 02:35 PM

Thank you! That never occurred to me! Will it work even though we're still married?

ScottGem · Jan 12, 2014, 03:05 PM

I don't know for sure. I do know it's a tactic used in other divorce actions.

stinawords · Jan 12, 2014, 04:02 PM

Being that your husband is in another state do you know where he is? I imagine you at least have an idea because of the ticket from another state. But that doesn't always mean that is where the person is living. I ask because if he is living in another state or city the notice in the paper may hold more weight if posted in both your local newspaper as well as the local paper where he is living. Don't know for sure but definitely something to ask your attorney about.

Fr_Chuck · Jan 13, 2014, 05:15 AM

I guess I question why you can not just go get the car, if you know where it is.

With the serial number of the car, you should be able to get a key made. And I still wonder why the attorney did not just get the car repo'ed if it is in your name.

AK lawyer · Jan 13, 2014, 08:46 AM

While OP has said she is in New Jersey, I don't believe we have been told which state it is on which she believes the care is located.

But more importantly, I question OP's assumption that her license may be affected by the car being ticketed. I don't think that is correct. Thus I don't understand her anxiety about the car, and suspect that her attorney may have a level head on his/her shoulders after all. By the way, the other people that are giving her conflicting advice, that she should report the car stolen, are wrong: her husband took the car so it is not stolen.

And finally, if she still figures that there is a good reason to get the car, she can take Fr_Chuck's advice, have a new key made, and go take the car (if she can find it).

AK lawyer · Jan 13, 2014, 11:41 AM

A comment about publishing a legal notice to the effect that

"... after (date) I will not be responsible for the debts of ..."

I actually do not know for sure what effect this may have. It would depend on the jurisdiction, obviously, but I suspect that this practice (which I used to see some 50 years ago, but haven't seen used in many years) is an attempt to avoid liability for the debts of a spouse under general agency-theory principles. There would probably have to be statutory authority for it and, in any event, would have no connection to liability of a registered owner of an automobile for traffic tickets, and the like, incurred by someone else.

ar668 · Jan 13, 2014, 02:05 PM

I think something was mistaken. I didn't say that my lawyer doesn't have a level head. I'm receiving different advice from different agencies. I own property that someone said they would set fire to and still owe $7000 on, hence my anxiety. I almost had a warrant for my arrest out of state due to the unpaid ticket. Which causes more anxiety.

AK lawyer · Jan 14, 2014, 05:45 PM

Originally Posted by ar668

I think something was mistaken. I didn't say that my lawyer doesn't have a level head. I'm receiving different advice from different agencies. I own property that someone said they would set fire to and still owe $7000 on, hence my anxiety. I almost had a warrant for my arrest out of state due to the unpaid ticket. Which causes more anxiety.

Do you know what the phrase "level head on his shoulders" means? It means that he or she is thinking clearly. You mentioned your lawyer twice in your opening post and suggested that you don't know if your lawyer's advice is good advice. All I'm saying is that it appears to be good advice.

You "almost" had an out-of-state warrant issued for your arrest. How do you know about this? My guess is that you received a notice in the mail about a ticket, and you explained that you didn't do it. That's not "almost" in my book.

But if your concern is that your investment might go up in smoke, go get the automobile, as we suggested. I didn't see that as your concern because earlier you suggested that you husband could have it if necessary.

stinawords · Jan 15, 2014, 06:32 AM

I don't think any one was mistaken when answering your question. As I and others have mentioned in your original question you questioned your attorney's judgement. That being said, if you don't trust them shop around for another one. I still stand by what I said that the bmv does not deal in divorce so can't really give you legal answers like that. You either had a warrant out for your arrest or you didn't. It isn't like going to the shoe store and almost buying a blue pair of shoes but not liking them enough for the price.
I believe I have said many times (not just in response to this question) that divorces are not nice clean fun things to go through. They are messy and take time and a judge to sort out. So, again, if you don't trust your attorney get a different one. Otherwise, do what your attorney advises you, listen to the judge when you are in court, and get through it in one piece.

talaniman · Jan 15, 2014, 08:55 AM

I would go with what your lawyer says and let the judge rule the property division and liabilities in the final divorce decree. Until then, stop fighting these emotional battles with him. Does you no good. He is headed down a dead end street when he tries to comply with renewing or changing his plates and whatever requirements for state registrations. Even burning your property is a criminal offense in most states. From my perspective you are more in the driers seat in this mess if you keep your wits about you, and don't act the fool as he is.

You will feel much better letting consequences bite him in the log run, not you, as this process plays out. Legally, I wouldn't listen to anyone but my attorney and any outside advice should be run through him before ANY actions are taken. I understand it bites your butt now, paying for something he farts in and whatever else he is doing out of state, but for now let those things go, as he adds to his own consequences. Don't make this car a focal point that stops you from seeing a much bigger picture. Your freedom from bad marriage, and the subsequent recovery from it emotionally and financially, more messy process to be dealt with.

This will take year or so, maybe longer for final resolution through the courts so practice being cool, and ready for many more events to come in and play out, in this very early process. Boy you have such a long way to go, and many decisions to make soon, and later. Tickets are the least of your worries as I see it. You have better options than stealing back your own car though, and that's a talk with your finance company not the DMV. Or BMV, or whatever they call themselves, and your lawyer.

Take those feelings out of the equation for now. Focus strictly on a plan to proceed and consider mitigating your losses of a car you cannot drive nor have possession of. Ask your lawyer, and the finance company how this can be done, and also get clarity from your lawyer as to exactly what his strategy is. That's where I think your best cards are, communicating with your lawyer and know what to expect down the road. Decisions based on facts, and not just feelings, or fear will cover your a$$, better than mind games with this soon to be EX husband.