Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    sdj123's Avatar
    sdj123 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jan 9, 2014, 02:19 PM
    Can't cope with the loss of my boyfriend
    My boyfriend was killed 6 months ago at the age of 20 in a road traffic accident and I just can not come to terms with it and can not deal with it. I feel completely lost and alone even though I have people around me. All I want is my soul mate back. I try not to show my feelings or tell people how I feel because people think I should be coping with it and I don't want to upset people but truth is I am completely broken and spend hours sat alone crying and thinking about all the what ifs. I don't know how to tell people close to me how I'm really feeling.
    Oliver2011's Avatar
    Oliver2011 Posts: 2,606, Reputation: 746
    Ultra Member
     
    #2

    Jan 9, 2014, 02:28 PM
    I don't have any words of wisdom in this area but I did want to say that I am sorry for your loss. There is someone who speaks to this subject extremely well so hopefully she will post here soon.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #3

    Jan 9, 2014, 02:46 PM
    You really do need to talk with some one close and share your pain. I am sure you know some one who can give you a shoulder to cry on and help you through this.

    Sorry for your loss.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
    current pert
     
    #4

    Jan 9, 2014, 02:56 PM
    'I feel because people think I should be coping with it - ' Baloney!
    What are they there for, if not to coddle you and listen and drag you around to their houses or to movies and restaurants and let you just sit there while they have a good time without trying to cheer you up?
    YOUR JOB is to ask them to drag you around with them, and to tell them not to try to cheer you up, and not to tiptoe around on eggshells and talk in whispers. They have to keep having their fun! You just sit there! If they try to make you dance or smile tell them NOT TO. You are a sack of potatoes sitting there.
    You need someone privately to talk to the rest of the time. A best friend, a sister, a therapist.
    You need memories and ritual. Put pictures and tiny objects in a little cluster on a shelf and talk to them, talk to him. Talk to him as you walk around. Talk to him out in public. Be a little crazy. Pretend he's sitting on your shoulder.
    A ritual might be something you do right before you go to bed, or a walk you take to a special place. I wear my dad's slippers. They are falling apart, so I have them all taped on the bottoms. I don't look forward to the day they really fall apart. But I'm prepared for it.
    Yes, I had a man die many many years ago too... and other tragedy.

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search

Add your answer here.


Check out some similar questions!

How can I support my boyfriend, and how do I cope with not seeing him often? [ 2 Answers ]

My boyfriend is working a job that means he works long, irregular hours and usually 7 days a week. He's doing this job purely for money, because he is struggling to get work in the industry he wants to be in (music) as there just isn't enough work to go round. He is staying with his best friend...

How to cope with loss of twins? [ 1 Answers ]

I just lost my twins at 21 weeks 2 months ago all my dreams and happines were gone after trying for 10 years how do I cope with this? I'm having a hard time can't sleep I'm always crying I miss my little angels zoefia & zebastian I ask myself why ? I feel like I'm the only one that's being through...

How to cope death of your boyfriend [ 1 Answers ]

It's about my b.f who just past away for about a mnth ago.I,m so hurt,I can't get on.I,m like I'm dying.I don't know what to do right now.. What hurts me so much is that I was not able to communicate him for a mnth before his death.. Before we live togethere but then I realize to continue my...

Can't cope with the death of my boyfriend. [ 19 Answers ]

It has been four days since I lost the love of my life. I loved him dearly and he knows that. But his death is a shock to me because I never expected him to be gone so soon and suddenly. Ever since I received the news my heart is torn apart and all I do is cry and I won't stop crying. His death...


View more questions Search