[Bill95jaguar]

So I spent the evening with my friend on Valentine's day. Initially, she just wanted to go for a short walk, but then all of a sudden, she hesitantly asked if I wanted to go and use the aquarium tickets with her that night. I had not expected this, and in fact had suggested once before that Valentine's day would probably be pretty busy for a visit. However, I said yes,though she did keep telling me we'd go only if I really wanted to, and stuff like that. Unfortunately, when we got there, the place was closed off to the public for a corporate party (which seems odd for Feb 14 when people would be wanting to go out, but I digress... ). We were let down, but we decided to spend the night walking around the city, just talking. During this time, a lot of stuff happened out of the blue:
-She kept asking to check if I was tired (even before it really got too late), or if I was enjoying myself as we walked around, even though I said repeatedly I was fine. Each time, she would smile, then we'd go back to our conversation.
-She asked about some of the clubs I joined at university. Later, she asked if I was interested in any of the girls in those clubs. She seemed to be taking her time to choose the right words, she seemed interested when I casually said "not really", and although she quickly changed the subject before I could answer, she asked me what kind of girl I would consider going out with.
-We got talking about travelling, and I told her about some of the places I've been to. She suddenly said maybe the two of us should take a trip together sometime when we both eventually finish university. She then giggled nervously, and a bit too late to convince me she was really joking (after all, a few months before, she claimed we really didn't know each other that well).
-A couple weeks before, I mentioned having some free movie tickets. When walking around, she remembered about them, and said maybe we should go see something when it looks like a good movie comes out (when I asked her before, she said she wasn't interested in going to a theatre).
-At one point, when we sat down on a bench for a rest, there was a pause in our conversation. I looked over at her expecting the silence to be awkward, and instead she just stared at me for about a minute with a big smile on her face. She claimed she had merely been "lost in thought" when I asked what she was looking at...
-When we took the subway back home that night, she led me to a spot with two seats close together, instead of one of the open sections where there are multiple seats (where we always sit, with some space between us).
-And finally, when I got to my stop, she looked very happy (more than I would expect from a friend) when I went out of my way to hug her, say goodbye, and tell her Happy Valentine's day.

I would definitely now say for sure this girl likes me, and is just too shy to say it outright. Changing my original question, what are some ways to gently move things along (keeping in mind her shyness seems to make her hesitate when she feels under pressure)?

[talaniman]

Why can't things move along at their own natural pace? Go with the flow and enjoy the good moments.

[Bill95jaguar]

Oh, I'm not looking to go faster than the way things are already going. I'm trying to think of ways to get on the same page as her; I think we both know there's something going on, but it hasn't been brought up, and I 'd like to figure out some ways to do that that are as pressure free as possible (as opposed to when she asked if I liked her back in the fall). Rather than both of us wasting time trying to figure out what's between us, wouldn't it be better to find a way to clear the air, and actually enjoy anything that's there?

By the way, what is the best way to clear the air when we are both busy? University is getting hectic, and it's getting harder for both our schedules to open up - we can't really just hang out, we actually need to plan to meet. For example, I was hoping on meeting up with her this week again, but her schedule all of a sudden got filled up when I was free, and mine when her's was free. I know that I could simply tell her at any time that I want to meet specifically to talk with her, and she'd be willing to make the time, but that would put a lot of pressure on us both - I'd rather find a way to meet and bring it up that would could work for two busy students but still be closer to going "with the flow" like talaniman said.

[talaniman]

Honest communications my friend are at the heart of any decisions you make that are based on facts, and not just feelings. The way you interact and how willing you both are to work together is the bottom line. Most long term and long lasting relationships are built over time with many changes and adjustments and compromises along the way and today's definition, or understanding can be irrelevant next week or next year.

No one is guaranteed forever. If you are afraid of wasting your time then you probably are in the first place or your time table or expectations are unrealistic. Love is a process, not a goal. And a lot of hard work.