Check out some similar questions!

zelda · Mar 31, 2007, 04:26 PM

People think I'm horrible because I don't hold my 8 month old all day. He doesn't like to be held but he does cry a lot.. no matter what we do he just cries

Fr_Chuck · Mar 31, 2007, 04:43 PM

Babies don't cry all day most of the time they lay there, watch things,

But when they are wet you change them, when they are hungry you feed them. When they are sleeply you put them to sleep.

If you are having issues have the child checked with their doctor

zelda · Mar 31, 2007, 04:46 PM

Well I already know that he has colic... but when he is on the floor playing with his toys or something being quiet people get mad at me for not holding him all day

NeedKarma · Mar 31, 2007, 04:47 PM

Who are these "people"?

J_9 · Mar 31, 2007, 04:51 PM

Oh, you can only do damage by holding them all day. They need to learn their independence, even at 8 months.

They need to learn and explore.

zelda · Mar 31, 2007, 04:56 PM

Thank you.. and these people are family. Moms dads on both sides of the family.. they also think its bad to let a family member take him for a night

NeedKarma · Mar 31, 2007, 04:58 PM

You need a new family, it seems they are not too supportive.

zelda · Mar 31, 2007, 04:59 PM

No they are always mad at us for something they think that we just let our baby cry all day.. we don't.we try our best to keep him happy

J_9 · Mar 31, 2007, 05:01 PM

Hun, they are "old school" There are different ideas now in raising children. Having a baby cry is actually healthy for the baby (prevents lung infections) whereas when I was a baby it was bad.

I too had a family like yours with my ex. They refused to let me raise MY children as I saw fit.

They have raised their children, it is your turn. Children do not come with a set of instructions, we all have to learn on our own.

zelda · Mar 31, 2007, 05:05 PM

Thanks j9. I appreciate your advice

sheila99 · Mar 31, 2007, 05:23 PM

Ms. Zelda,

There are many reasons your baby might cry a lot. He may have colic, which is like bad baby indigestion, or other medical reasons. His diet may be causing him problems. His only way to communicate any need or problem is by crying, so one way or another, he's trying to tell you something.

Talk openly with your pediatrician or call a parent's helpline or your local health department. Keep notes about what you've been feeding him, how much and when, so that you can see if there is a pattern.

It's certainly not necessary to hold a baby "all day long". Allowing carefully supervised and monitored children to stretch and crawl and roll are healthy activities. However, babies don't understand reasons, and seek to be physically close to their caretakers to feel safe. Bonding with and holding your baby are unique experiences that last for such a short time. You will never look back on it and wish you'd been doing something else.
Still, if you're not a very 'huggy' kind of person, try close interaction with your baby in other ways, like taking him for walks or active play time. Play music. Let him see you relaxed.

He may also be reacting to tension around him. If you have been feeling particularly anxious, whether you think you are demonstrating it, your child can probably pick up on it and react.

Having a baby is a wonderful and difficult experience at the same time. Many if not most new parents worry about if they are caring for their babies right. But if you are really feeling overwhelmed, please talk to someone about it soon. Parenting is hard work and is something that is learned, not just built-in. Even good parents make mistakes or misjudge a situation. If the love and desire is there, you'll get it! There are lots of people and organizations to help.

Good luck to you, Ms. Zelda. And good for you for reaching out to find answers! I hope this helps a little.

Sheila99

zelda · Mar 31, 2007, 05:27 PM

Thank you for your answer sheila... we are huggy people we give him lots of attention.. yea he does have colic and its not so bad now since his formula is changed.. its just that family don't think he should be on the floor and think we should only cuddle him.. he loves to crawl around

Matt3046 · Mar 31, 2007, 05:39 PM

These people need to back off and let you take care of your childe. Are these your parents?
It doesn't really matter, allot of older people (well meaning) have not had kids for so long and the methods were so different, that it is probably not a good idea to take advice from them with a grain of salt.. (no offence) And if it is your inlaws, well they are liable to do annoying things just to try to hurt you (people can be mean) while acting as if they like you. Ok to sum this up I am just saying that people often have motivations that you would not even consider.And you and the baby's father are the ones who know best how to care for your childe.

zelda · Mar 31, 2007, 05:42 PM

Thank u matt.I appreciate that.. my dad complained at the birth of my baby he said "i am so damn glad you had a boy because i can't stand the name you had for a girl"

Fr_Chuck · Mar 31, 2007, 05:58 PM

And please don't take my answer for picking him up, children don't need to be held all the time, as you well know and have heard it on here.

And don't feel bad, in general for the babies grandparents, it is never they way they used to do it.

zelda · Mar 31, 2007, 05:59 PM

Thanks chuck

talaniman · Apr 1, 2007, 10:47 PM

8 months! Feed him or hold him that's all he needs.

zelda · Apr 3, 2007, 03:31 PM

That's spoiling them you can't just shove a bottle in there mouth every time they cry when they have colic.. they are in pain.. I hope you have no kids

vlee · Apr 4, 2007, 07:34 AM

People who haven't had a colicky baby tend not to understand that these kids cry A LOT more than your average infant. Sometimes the best thing to do is to put the baby down. It doesn't necessarily calm the baby, but it helps mom or dad take a little breather and come up with a new approach. Better to put the baby down than to get frustrated, right? You have enough stress in your life with a colicky baby, you don't need flack from all those people who have the "right" answers. If your child is healthy and you have bonded, you are doing just fine. Forget those who say you aren't doing something right.

NowWhat · Apr 4, 2007, 01:30 PM

It is so odd - when it comes to "advice" on how to parent your child - everyone seems to have a different opinion - depending on how they were raised. When my sister and I had our girls - our grandmother told us not to hold the baby too much because you would spoil her. My Mom told us you could never hold her too much. My pediatrican told us we weren't giving our daughter enough "floor" time or tummy time. She wasn't developing her neck muscles.
So, my advice to you is to trust your instincts as a mother. If you have a baby with colic - my sympathies! There is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING you can do to sooth that baby. Also, you need to remind your family that this is your child and you will raise him the way you see fit. And when you need advice from them - you will ask for it.
Good Luck!