[brainddead]

I met a guy in England two summers ago while on vacation staying with my friend. He also was visiting his family and friends. We hit it off, and hung out everyday until I left. He even extended his trip to stay with me longer. Even though it was only a week we were together, we went all the way (a few times LOL) because I figured why not! I was in Europe! I met and hung-out with his family and friends. Had an amazing, fun and also romantic time. After I left, we stayed in touch over the year through Facebook messages. I returned the next summer for an entire month. Stayed together where we first met and then took a flight to where he lives and stayed at his place. We had again an amazing time, showed me around, introduced me to his friends. I became close with him and became a part of his life. But again, I had to leave and it sucked!

Now this is where the problems come into play. We have since talked every day through Facebook and Skype video chats. We talk as if we are in a relationship but yet there is no title and we don't see other people. He has now booked a trip to spend Christmas in my country. But for a short time as he has work. I have been putting my life on hold because of these trips but I'm 20 years old and haven't started my life yet. I can't keep doing this but I love having him a part of my life. What can I do?

[Fr_Chuck]

So, what do you want ? What does he want.

Is he interested in a once a year sex partner ? Or a full time live in girlriend, or a wife.

Are you willing to pack up and move to where he is ?

Is he willing to move to you ?

Answer those questions and you will have your answer

[joypulv]

What does it mean to put your life on hold?
I hope it doesn't mean that at age 20 you are just sitting at home doing nothing, waiting for a man who has only been able to see you a bit over a month out of two whole years.
He obviously likes you, but if you have to have an answer about the future at Christmastime, I can see him getting uncomfortable. Everyone needs a life independent of anyone else.
What are your plans for life?

[tickle]

This could be a chance of a lifetime.

So you are twenty and say you are putting your life on hold, but not so. You have the rest of your life ahead of you and everyone deserves a chance at a lifetime of happiness with the right person. He may be it, so you owe it to yourself by giving this a chance when you see him next. Perhaps everything will become clear this time. Many women have fallen in love with their forever mate at 20.

[talaniman]

Start your life and see how the fling works out. Why wouldn't you?

[brainddead]

So, what do you want ? What does he want.

Is he interested in a once a year sex partner ? Or a full time live in girlriend, or a wife.

Are you willing to pack up and move to where he is ?

Is he willing to move to you ?

Answer those questions and you will have your answer

I am willing to move! I don't think he would move to the states, but he's hasn't been here yet so that might change. I want an actual relationship with him. I see myself falling in love with him. I'm just scared I'd ruin what we have so far if I ask him this christmas what he thinks this is.

[tickle]

I am willing to move! I don't think he would move to the states, but he's hasn't been here yet so that might change. I want an actual relationship with him. I see myself falling in love with him. I'm just scared I'd ruin what we have so far if I ask him this christmas what he thinks this is.

If you are afraid to ask him, what other options do you have? Sitting around as you said and wondering 'what next'?

You have to clear the air to see what is next in both your lives. Life is taking chances.

Good luck !

[brainddead]

Just remembered I posted this! Well here's an update! He came to visit, had one hell of an emotional conversation or two. We are now dating and have started planning things. Looks like I'll be spending half a year with him soon! I'm a happy girl! I do need advice on visas, work permits and such. It's all so confusing and everyone's situation is different.