[jrm1025]

Hello,

Well, I have been dating this girl now for about 4 months. We met in November of 2006. In October, she broke up with her boyfriend after 3 years. He was very controlling, emotionally abusive and just the worst guy for her. She loves country music and he would break her CD's all the time and would try to change who she was. This girl is such an awsome girl, very very honest, comes from a loving family and is just the perfect girl. In those 4 months, we became very close, but we weren't physical at all. She loved to kiss me and that's about as far as things went. We weren't boyfriend/girlfriend, but we didn't see other people and she wasn't ready to committ yet. She would send me cards saying "I am so happy that you have come into my life and can't wait to see what our future holds". I know she is very into me, just by the way she acts around me. She is very affectionate. Well, a few weeks ago, she told me that she is very confused and wants space and they we need to be strictly friends right now. She also said that she isn't going to date anyone else, but she just needs to find herself again because her ex boyfriend took everything from her and was just so controlling. Also, she just started a new career in real estate and everything right now is overwhelming. We had lunch a week ago, and she told me that she cares about me so much and that its hard to tell me what she told me because I am such a perfect guy and treated her so well, and she was crying when she said this. She said I had to let her go and if it was meant to be, then it would be. Well, I haven't called her much at all, but she did text me this week to see how I was doing. I have respect for what she asked for and don't want to call her often. I do text about once in a while to say that I am thinking about her and hope she is doing OK. Also, her best friend told me a while back to hang in there and see what happens and that she is afraid that I could be the perfect guy. My question is, in this situation what should I do and not do if I want to be with her in the future. Do I still have a chance?

Thanks!

[Tony J]

Let her see you on a date or out in public with another girl. Jealousy might help in this situation. Also, stop being so nice. Do not call her or text and let her call or text you obviously talk to her when she calls or whatever. Another thing you might try is being conviently busy if she asks you to do something; something like helping you gradmother move furniture (women love to hear that you are doing nice things for your family).
I'm telling you this because if she feels that she is losing you she might step up. Lastly, you might think about moving on like she's not going to be there so if you do get disappointed it will be easier to cope.

[Zeus2007]

Confidence is imprtant don't look like you need her even if you do. Space is what she needs for real. You may have been her rebound guy but you won't know. Last thing she needs is another clingy controller ( think about it) You got a shot but only if you are cool calm and collected. Don't date someone in her face that shows no class, hang out but don't rub her nose in it, that is what he would do.