[kromanow]

Hi, I have been playing soccer since I was three. I am going to be 16 in October and I just don't want to play anymore. So far this year, I have gotten two concussions and a broken arm in track, (don't ask) and ever since I have been cleared, I just don't have the "love" for the game anymore. I was being bullied on travel by the girls on my team, so I quit travel. I then promised my parents that I would try out for BSA if I didn't have to play school. (The same girls are on that team) I made the BSA team, and I have been playing soccer for the last couple weeks and I have been miserable. I used to love going to soccer, but now I hate going and never want to go. I feel as though I have lost the skill I used to have, (I was very good). I don't want to play BSA, and I don't know how to tell them. They constinantly tell me that they are disappointed in me for not playing school, which makes this even more stressful. HELP

[Wondergirl]

What has destroyed your love for the game? The bullying? The injuries? There are lots of articles lately about life-changing football and soccer concussions and head injuries. Put together a portfolio of them to show your parents.

You certainly have given your life to soccer. Your interests are changing as you are growing up. Is there a teacher or coach who would be willing to talk to your parents?

[kromanow]

What has destroyed your love for the game? the bullying? the injuries? There are lots of articles lately about life-changing football and soccer concussions and head injuries. Put together a portfolio of them to show your parents.

You certainly have given your life to soccer. Your interests are changing as you are growing up. Is there a teacher or coach who would be willing to talk to your parents?

I think it has all just added up to be honest. I don't want to get hurt emotionally and physically. There's really no coach that would understand or willing to talk to my parents, because they are strict.

[Fr_Chuck]

Have you talked to the coach about the bully, have you told your parents about the bully ?

[Jake2008]

I think there comes a time where parents expectations for their child, where it had been, for years in your case, you playing soccer, clashes with what the child wants.

You have a mind of your own now, and your likes and dislikes conflict. When you were three, you didn't have the capacity, or understanding to know one way or the other what you liked or didn't like.

A 16 year old in any sport played for many years such as soccer, or hockey, or baseball, doesn't always meet the same expectations of the parents, to simply play because their parents want them to.

This kind of clash will happen, with any likes and dislikes, as you grow into your own person, making your own decisions.

I suspect that the trouble with the girls was part of the reason, and you compromised by still playing, but a home team if I read this right. But, what you found was that you still weren't interesting in playing, and making compromises to play doesn't work either.

Realize that their disappointment is natural for parents. They see you as a child, and know what's best for your development. Whether it's soccer, or curfew, you will butt heads more than once growing up.

Try talking to them again, and let them know that it is just not working. No excuses, no compromises. You simply do not want to play and as you've said, you no longer have any passion for the game. Don't argue about it, it's a simple statement.

If that doesn't work, try replacing soccer with something YOU want to do. Maybe a club, or volunteer work, or a part time job, or a club at school. Give your parents a reason to think that you've thought this through.

Best of luck.

[kromanow]

Yes, they know.. the bully is the coaches daughter.

[cdad]

Have you tried out or are there other teams that are all boys? At your level it really only serves to hurt you playing in a mixed setting. Maybe you just need to cut away from what you have been doing and join a competitive team or try out indoor soccer for awhile and see if your feelings change. At 16 your close to finishing school and soccer can earn you a scholarship if you are half as good as you think. Sometimes its just the perspective rather then the entire scene that needs changing. Im sure there are other avenues you can reach into.

[yodo1089]

Tell them that you would like to play a other sport and that you want to try something new. Its normal it happened to me before with baseball. I use to love baseball but then I found it was boaring so I said "dad/mom i think i wanna do a other sport. i would like to try hockey/soccer etc." its very simple