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    18 n confused's Avatar
    18 n confused Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Sep 28, 2013, 01:00 PM
    I've tried everything and still can't feel any pleasure
    I have had sex with a total of 4 men. All different lengths and sizes and I still can't feel any pleasure. I've tried different positions, foreplay, everything. I get arroused and I can pleasure myself but when I have sex I feel nothing. My boyfriend says that I come but I don't feel it. When he inside me its like I'm numb inside and its starting to get boring to him. I don't know what else to do. Any help?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #2

    Sep 28, 2013, 03:12 PM
    Start with seeing a doctor/gynecologist and eliminating any medical issues you may not be aware of. Do you use condoms or lubricants?
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #3

    Sep 28, 2013, 06:41 PM
    First of course, does he do a lot of fore play ? Does he get you to reach a climax before he even begines
    18 n confused's Avatar
    18 n confused Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Sep 29, 2013, 12:57 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    Start with seeing a doctor/gynecologist and eliminating any medical issues you may not be aware of. Do you use condoms or lubricants?
    No, neither. I'm pregnant already. I'm also not that much experienced.

    Quote Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck View Post
    first of course, does he do a lot of fore play ? does he get you to reach a climax before he even begines
    To the foreplay question, sometimes. To the other question, a couple times. But even after that and we end up having sex, I still don't feel any pleasure. Its like I'm numb inside.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #5

    Sep 29, 2013, 05:36 AM
    How pregnant are you if I may ask? What does your doctor say of this condition you are experiencing?
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
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    #6

    Sep 29, 2013, 06:09 AM
    If you can pleasure yourself, then there probably isn't a medical issue. Some women do have issues with nerves either being disconnected or misinterpreting signals. It doesn't sound like that is your problem.

    A reason for asking about condoms is that some women have found out that they have a very slight allergic reaction to latex. It can cause a slight swelling and numbing of the pubic area. Some toys made of latex or made of a rubber/latex mix can have the same effect.

    There are very few if any nerve endings inside the vagina. When you give birth you will understand why. What most women 'feel' during penetration is pressure on the walls and pressing/rubbing against parts outside of the vagina.

    Lets talk about female arousal. In general, women are very different from men in how they become fully aroused. For us arousal is more mental than physical and begins long before we get close to actually having sex. Anticipation is an important part of 'foreplay'. The mind imagining/remembering what the female finds 'exciting'. We essentially seduce ourselves.

    If you have been focusing on physical sensation to get aroused then you may not be getting fully aroused. Physical stimulation can feel good, but it generally isn't enough.

    Erogenous zones. If your partners have been focusing their attention on one or two spots, then they need to learn that the entire body is an erogenous zone. Starting with the brain and working out from there to the bottom of the feet. The clitoris and nipples may be more sensitive because they have more nerve endings, but focusing on them can cause sensory overload resulting in the mind shying away from sensation or registering it as pain instead of pleasure.

    If you are pregnant, you may experience some changes due to the fluctuations in hormones and physical changes your body is going through. Some women find themselves easier to arouse while others are the exact opposite. Most times the changes are usually temporary (even though they can last for months after the baby is born.) Sometimes they can be permanent.

    Understand that stress and worry will also have an affect on your libido. If your mind is stuck thinking about the needs of your baby, class schedule, work next week, or the dirty clothes that need washing, the mental distractions will make it more difficult for you to become aroused.

    Explore your own mind and body. Don't focus on just between your legs. Think about what turns you on mentally. Erotica in all of its forms (Romance novels to porn videos and movies) can help. Alone and with your partner, experiment with various sensations from different types of touch and textures, varied lighting, scented candles or air sprays, music, etc.

    The last bit of advice is to communicate with your partner. Work together instead of getting frustrated. Frustration and other negative emotions will work against you.
    18 n confused's Avatar
    18 n confused Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Oct 1, 2013, 09:15 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    How pregnant are you if I may ask? What does your doctor say of this condition you are experiencing?
    I'm 6 1/2 munths pregnant but this has bin going on since before I got pregnant. And I haven't talkd to her about it yet.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #8

    Oct 1, 2013, 09:37 AM
    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...lk-303157.html

    The only resolution I can offer you is a full discussion of your issues with your doctor after you have evaluated the good advise by my fellow poster Cat, to get to the bottom of this issue. Generally though this is something you and your partner work on together, because sexual pleasure start in the MIND.

    What do you do to bring pleasure to yourself, that he doesn't do? Often it's a lack of communications between partners, to stimulate us in our own personal ways, but you have to know what's your own personal way that gets you off. Once they know, they know how to best help you.

    How does he know you get off but you don't know? Or don't find the pleasure he thinks you do?
    CravenMorhead's Avatar
    CravenMorhead Posts: 4,532, Reputation: 1065
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    #9

    Oct 1, 2013, 09:39 AM
    Please use proper English. It will help everyone here, even those whose first language ISN'T english, understand you.

    Why haven't you talked to your doctor about this?

    Have you masturbated?

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