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    AppealingMother's Avatar
    AppealingMother Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Sep 20, 2013, 04:50 PM
    No sex only oral
    I've been getting to know this guy for a few months. I want to be in a relationship before I have sex because I think the dating and waiting will make out first time amazing. However, after a great date we were laying in his bed watching TV just spending qt together and we started making out and he asked me if he could give me oral. I hesitated for a while but I gave in. It was great and I was ready to go all the way but he said he just wanted to do that. Since then whenever we are in the house just hanging out he asks to give me oral. I'm confused? I know his penis is fully functioning because every time he gives me oral he "finishes". Is he just waiting until we become exclusive or what..
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #2

    Sep 20, 2013, 04:56 PM
    Only he knows the answer to this question, we can only guess. If you want to be in a committed relationship you have to communicate. Ask him why he only wants oral.
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #3

    Sep 20, 2013, 06:09 PM
    He very well could figure he is 'waiting for exclusivity or marriage', since some people do not consider that sex per se. You would have to ask him to know for sure.
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert
     
    #4

    Sep 20, 2013, 07:13 PM
    Part of building a relationship is learning how to communicate with each other. If you can't ask him or don't feel comfortable discussing the subject, then you aren't really ready for intercourse.

    Have you at least discussed birth control options or what expectations would be if an unplanned pregnancy occurred? What about sexually transmitted diseases/infections?

    I notice that your username implies that you already have a child/children. Does he? He may be have concerns about pregnancy and birth control.

    He may be a man who really enjoys giving oral sex which is how it sounds since you do not mention touching him in any way.

    Talk with him. It is the only way to know what is going on in his mind.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
    Computer Expert and Renaissance Man
     
    #5

    Sep 21, 2013, 07:25 AM
    It could be because he is afraid of pregnancy. And oral IS sex, its just not intercourse. And if he "finishes" why aren't you helping him.
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #6

    Sep 21, 2013, 07:29 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by ScottGem View Post
    And oral IS sex, its just not intercourse.
    Remember when it was doing 'the Monica' and it isn't sex because Clinton said so. So many people started thinking that way due to the convenience of justifying it being okay.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #7

    Sep 21, 2013, 07:51 AM
    So far you have been going along with his program, but I have to ask have you ever expressed what YOU want? If not why?

    That's the problem that has led you to wondering, and presuming instead of going to the source, HIM, and finding out the facts of the matter.

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