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    Jiser's Avatar
    Jiser Posts: 1,266, Reputation: 281
    Ultra Member
     
    #1

    Sep 14, 2013, 06:16 PM
    Friendship and new relationship ruined
    This is a long story but I hope you will be able to offer advise:

    I am 27 she is 20. Originally she was a student at a school I worked at but met her through another student I knew a year ago 4 years after us leaving the school.

    We had become friends through the past year. She had a particularly nasty breakup 3 months ago with a man who treated her really badly - I was always there for her throughout this.

    In the past few months we have spent almost every weekend together. However I started dating another girl around the same time who knew her. She went travelling for four months so it was short lived. About a month ago I told my friend I liked her. The day after she came round and we kissed. Although after this she still only wanted to be friends.

    Fast forward to recently we both went abroad togther for a week and had a great time doing so much. On the holiday we kissed and pretty much became a couple. Although she wouldn't commit to me saying she didn't want anything serious and didn't want me to get to close to her. Because of this I messaged this other girl who I was dating briefly saying I may be single as I wasn't sure what was happening in this current relationship.

    My girl stole my phone without me seeing and read through all these messages. Said I was a lier 'as I had told her I had said I didn't want anything to do with this other girl'. With two weekends away coming up and planned we have have now had to cancel these pretty much.

    I took her flowers, grovelled, msged her that I cared for her... I have tried everything but she says she cannot trust me and doesn't want to be with me now. What should be my next steps?
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
    Uber Member
     
    #2

    Sep 14, 2013, 06:21 PM
    Take a break and enjoy being single for awhile. No decent girl wants to feel they are second choice or you have a plan B on the side before they have even had a chance to get with you.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #3

    Sep 14, 2013, 08:37 PM
    Smitten again my old friend. Before I go into the usual NC spiel that I know you know backwards, I just have to ask how you square going with a chick and still keeping in touch with someone she knows. Yeah that 's screwed up, but so is snooping.

    But like I said you know the rules as good as anyone, so its leave her alone and see if she cools off and get back to the life you had before she showed up. Seems to me she was only in it for the fun, and travel,

    Although after this she still only wanted to be friends.

    Fast forward to recently we both went abroad together for a week and had a great time doing so much. On the holiday we kissed and pretty much became a couple. Although she wouldn't commit to me saying she didn't want anything serious and didn't want me to get to close to her.
    Looks like this had a short shelf life anyway, but

    Because of this I messaged this other girl who I was dating briefly saying I may be single as I wasn't sure what was happening in this current relationship.
    You still shouldn't have cheated. Too bad she caught you. You kind of blew that. Or dodged a bullet, depends on how you look at it.

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