[yaazhini]

Hello.

I have a problem mentally. I love my dad a lot and no words to say how much I like him. From my small age I have a problem. If someone whom I like tells me they are not feeling well I keep on thinking on that and it makes me remember all those things that are related to that. Now I am in critical situation. I am completely in stress. My dad is 56 years old and he is having sugar. Sometimes it rises. He goes to walking, swimming, and plays volley ball. He is very energetic and eats well but he got fever and his weight reduced to 62 before he was 65 and he had cough continuously.

My problem starts as I started thinking of my schooling that they thought cancer will have weight loss, and cough, and it makes me remember all movies and serials where cancer patients cough. It keeps on running in my mind and I couldn’t sleep or concentrate on studies. I am keep on thinking of him. I said to my dad to take a complete general body checkup and he took that and the result is he is having no problem. Rbc, wbc are in good count and hemoglobin in good level.

Even still I have this stress. I don’t want to tell this to my dad and confuse him and make him feel bad about me. I want to know whether all have this problem are its something different. My dad is in good health or he has to undergo checkup. I want a clear answer for this sir. Hope I will get clarified, it would be more helpful for me.

[joypulv]

Are you asking us for help for you, because your dad's health worries you too much, or help for your dad in the form of ideas about his health?
You got him to have a blood test, so he listens to you - consider that a 'good deed' on your part. I hope you can realize that there are hundreds of reasons he might lose a little weight and cough, none of which are remotely cancerous. I would be more worried about the air quality in much of the world these days, and if he does a lot of outdoor activity, he could be coughing just from that.
Not all people (men especially) are very good at telling their doctors about little symptoms, so ask him what he does talk about with his doctor.

Now about you. There's an old saying: A little knowledge is a dangerous thing. You have heard a bit about some cancer symptoms, and now you see cancer much too easily. The best thing you can do for yourself is to start studying everything you can about medicine. You can start with diabetes (you mention him having high sugar?). Keep your imagination from going wild until you KNOW something is a reasonable concern.

[N0help4u]

As,joy said educate yourself on things you worry about. Thing is you are allowing yourself to obsess and worry worse case scenarios over things you have no control of as well as things that may not even be so. You need to learn to take control of your thoughts and focus on facts and things at hand. Take care of work while at work, deal with dad as things come up. Don't be entertaining things like what ifs.

[dontknownuthin]

My college roommates were nursing students. Reading all they did about medical issues, they often started imagining the symptoms, or exaggerated what they felt. They would be convinced they had malaria (not likely... we lived in Milwaukee!). Then they were sure they had herpes or meningitis, or whatever. The mind is very prone to suggestion. The cause of their worry was that their studies forced them to think too much about disease.

There are countless reasons people cough and cancer is a rare one. Same with weight loss. And we all have little irritations, minor symptoms than don't amount too much. If we concentrated too much on these things, we become hypochondriacs, or worry needlessly about loved ones.
So you have to develop discretion and be rational. A cough that persists is worth a doctor visit, but is likely a minor thing. Blood sugar issues are common, and usually mean the person should cut back on refined carbohydrates, but it is treatable in any event.

You stop your thought process at the point of panic. Instead, if you think dad may be diabetic, consider what that might mean... Cutting down on breads and rice and sweets, maybe taking medicine or checking his blood sugar. He could handle it and so could you. But before you up too much energy into all that, he has a physical, which he did for you. He is fine. We can all have blood sugar issues if we eat a poor diet, even for a day. I know if I eat sugary things in the morning, I have a blood sugar crash a few hours later... I have no blood sugar issues, it's just how he body works!

Even cancer, it sucks and is hard to go through, but most people recover. Most find a great deal more meaning and become closer in their relationships going through hard things, so you would get through that too.

One day you will lose your dad. But he is still young and vibrant. You can control what you think about, and think about something else when you start having irrational thoughts. Don't waste the decades you probably still have with him planning his tragic end... silly. Instead, go join him in his active life... travel, share meals, see movies, have a stroll after dinner. Focus on what you and Dad will do next time you are together for fun, not all this senseless worry.

[talaniman]

You are overthinking and over reacting, get control of yourself, and enjoy your dad and relax. You are driving yourself crazy over NOTHING you have any control of.

[Fr_Chuck]

This sounds like a continuing problem you have had. And it sounds like you allow it to effect your life.

Have you talked to your dad about his health, asked him why he had the cough, Guess what, the medication he may take, can have a side effect, coughing, my medication makes me cough after I take it for about 3 months,

You get over fear by being honest and asking them to tell you, and if they do not, be honest and tell them the fear this causes you.

If it si still effecting you, get professional counseling, since extreme worry over non existence issues can lead to serious health problems of their own

[Jake2008]

My college roommates were nursing students. Reading all they did about medical issues, they often started imagining the symptoms, or exaggerated what they felt. They would be convinced they had malaria (not likely...we lived in Milwaukee!). Then they were sure they had herpes or meningitis, or whatever. The mind is very prone to suggestion. The cause of their worry was that their studies forced them to think too much about disease.

There are countless reasons people cough and cancer is a rare one. Same with weight loss. And we all have little irritations, minor symptoms than don't amount to much. If we concentrated too much on these things, we become hypochondriacs, or worry needlessly about loved ones.
So you have to develop discretion and be rational. A cough that persists is worth a doctor visit, but is likely a minor thing. Blood sugar issues are common, and usually mean the person should cut back on refined carbohydrates, but it is treatable in any event.

You stop your thought process at the point of panic. Instead, if you think dad may be diabetic, consider what that might mean... Cutting down on breads and rice and sweets, maybe taking medicine or checking his blood sugar. He could handle it and so could you. But before you up too much energy into all that, he has a physical, which he did for you. He is fine. We can all have blood sugar issues if we eat a poor diet, even for a day. I know if I eat sugary things in the morning, I have a blood sugar crash a few hours later... I have no blood sugar issues, it's just how he body works!

Even cancer, it sucks and is hard to go through, but most people recover. Most find a great deal more meaning and become closer in their relationships going through hard things, so you would get through that too.

One day you will lose your dad. But he is still young and vibrant. You can control what you think about, and think about something else when you start having irrational thoughts. Don't waste the decades you probably still have with him planning his tragic end...silly. Instead, go join him in his active life ...travel, share meals, see movies, have a stroll after dinner. Focus on what you and Dad will do next time you are together for fun, not all this senseless worry.

You said that so well, Joy. So many positive points, and so sensitive to our OP.

To our poster, please consider all the wonderful answers you have received here. And it is so true that worrying when there is nothing to worry about, and worrying over something you have no control over, can in itself as Chuck said, cause its own problems for you.