[LadyB]

Have you researched the attitudes of the younger generations? I am in the deep south and biracial children are quite accepted now, by the generations having and raising young children. Only the older people and serious rednecks still seem to have a problem with it, and racist attitudes have become socially unacceptable. Perhaps amongst those with children around the same age it will be no big deal.

[Fr_Chuck]

I will agree with Lady B, I lived in South Ga, then Atlanta GA, and now mid Tennessee in the rural area and there are many mixed couples and uncounted numers of mix race children.

And of course there are some seroius racists but now as many as the south is claimed to have, and yes the much older people of both races have their ideas and nothing is going to change that. But not all older people, I was there in the bus in high school when rocks were thrown at our bus becauase we were a all white school. I can remember being chased off the beach in Florida because of race problems and the police.
So I understand some who lived though varoius things having ideas that are hard to deal with.

[tshfaust]

Forget what the rest of the family will say,would you have put your daughter up for adoption and what will that do to her mentally growing up lnowing I gave away my baby because what my family thought

[SharonfromHoboken]

My 17 yr old is a Jr in High School & "accidentally" got pregnant. She wants to keep the baby, but it is bi-racial & all her grandparents are prejudicial. Her step-dad, her dad & I believe it would be best for the baby to be put up for adoption so that it won't feel unwanted in the rest of the family. Any suggestions? She & I just found out she was pregnant about a month ago & she is 5½ months along. She had no symptoms nor was showing until about 2 weeks ago.

I think you are playing the race card as an excuse. I find it hard to believe that someone would not want their own grandchild or great-grandchild simply because they aren't the right skin shade.

It always kills me when people say they live in a racist "area". An area isn't racist... people are. If you live there, you are part of the people and are part of that mind-set. It's all up to you to be racist or not. It's a choice and a learned behavior, not something in the air that you have no control over.

Every child has something that they are going to get razzed over. It's up to the child's family to give the child the emotional and psychological tools to cope with whatever comes along. You are either willing and able to do that or you are not. A child's sense of belonging and self-worth comes from their home and family, and not from a few words said by a stranger on the street. Much of life is coping with whatever comes your way, and every one of us has something that others view as less than ideal, and we all have to deal with it in one form or another.

If none of you (other than your daughter) really want the baby, just admit it and go from there. Don't pass the buck and try to make it seem like it is all the other people around you who are going to make it hard for the baby. You either are willing to deal with the situation or you aren't.

If you don't want to deal with it, the your daughter needs to go somewhere where people are going to be supportive of her (assuming she wants to keep her baby). If she doesn't want to keep her baby, then adoption would be best. Many many people would love to open their hearts and homes to a baby and could care less about skin tone.

Your only problem is if your daughter wants to keep her baby and you choose to not be supportive of her, her decision and the baby. That scenario won't be good for either her or the baby, and if this affects her decision she could end up either resenting you deeply or getting in way over her head, depending on her decision.

I wish you all well.

[beckyp33]

Hi. I am a new mom of a 2 week old beautiful baby girl and she is biracial. My family is prejudice and was not at all happy that I was pregnant with a biracial baby. Im white and her dad is black. I don't talk to the dad, but the truth is my family loves her so much. Everyone's attitude changed when they saw her. They all adore her and nobody treats her any differently. Honestly, if they did then they would'nt deserve to be a part of my life or hers.

[N0help4u]

I agree with the others. Last I heard the South was still prejudice. Where I live it is common to see white grandmothers pushing the baby stroller of their teenage daughters bi-racial baby. Don't take it out on the baby. MANY kids with TWO white parents often don't even get to have any kind of relationship with one set of grandparents.
Often too, once a baby is born the stubborn grandparents hearts melt and they can't help but make at least one exception to their prejudice.

[breesfamily]

My 17 yr old is a Jr in High School & "accidentally" got pregnant. She wants to keep the baby, but it is bi-racial & all her grandparents are prejudicial. Her step-dad, her dad & I believe it would be best for the baby to be put up for adoption so that it won't feel unwanted in the rest of the family. Any suggestions? She & I just found out she was pregnant about a month ago & she is 5½ months along. She had no symptoms nor was showing until about 2 weeks ago.

I just wanted to tell you that I became a mother at 16, and my family chose to make me leave if I wanted to have the baby, I did so. I dropped out of school, and got a full time job, and got a car, and after several months, I got my own apartment. No matter how you and your family feel, you have to support her, and know she will make the right decision on her own. Don't make her feel like an outcast, no matter how prejudice the family is, still know the baby is family. I lost the relationship with my mother, and a few years ago, I lost my son in a car accident, and now, everyone regrets not being there. Just support your daughter and her decisions, because once you lose that relationship, it never comes back, and life is too short for regrets, don't push her into doing something she doesn't want to do.

[War Eagle]

My 17 yr old is a Jr in High School & "accidentally" got pregnant. She wants to keep the baby, but it is bi-racial & all her grandparents are prejudicial. Her step-dad, her dad & I believe it would be best for the baby to be put up for adoption so that it won't feel unwanted in the rest of the family. Any suggestions? She & I just found out she was pregnant about a month ago & she is 5½ months along. She had no symptoms nor was showing until about 2 weeks ago.

Although she is 17, it is still here decision, but you as a mom have to support her no matter what. This world is going to Hell because of all the racial issues. Her dad and grandmother just would have to live with it. You and your daughter need to go in deep prayer for this because this is a serious issue. Always think what would Jesus do. He don't look at color so why should we. To the 17 year old, repent and ask for forgiveness and move on. Keep your baby. How would you feel if your mother put you up for adoption and years down the road you try and find her. Think how hard this my be for the baby in the long run. This child my bring success to you life. Count your many blessings and pray that God may lead you in the right direction (and I know he will) and I will be in deep praying for you as well.

[taxladywifeandmom]

Thank you for your input. I support any decision she makes, I just am worried about the rest of the family members. She has not told anyone outside her dad & step-dad except for friends. Not even her brother, even though she knows she should. I am just thinking about the region we live in because mixed children have a harder time being accepted in society.

I know you love your daughter,no question about that,she is YOUR baby.if you were told you should give her up because of the region you lived in... wouldnt you risk that anyway,or just find a new region to live? If she wants to keep her baby she needs to keep that baby.or you might as well prepare yourself for a very strained/broken relationship with your daughter. I KNOW this.I have a very good friend with the same situation she is married now with 2 more kids,but still will not speak to her mother.I know I don't know you at all I am just a stranger but I have seen it happen and its very sad.besides,that's your grandbaby! He/she will be perfect.I will keep you in my prayers.:o

[Synnen]

Oh for crying out loud.

That baby is nearly a year old now.

Any decisions about him/her will have been made quite some time ago.

Can we please get a mod to close this thread?

[taxladywifeandmom]

Good god! I didn't know until you said that!ha!