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grapefruit596 · Aug 24, 2013, 09:09 PM

I'm 14. I am the oldest of 2 children. I'm also a girl. My mom doesn't respect the fact that I'm a girl. It all started the second I came to this world..

My mom always wanted a boy. When she found out her first child was going to be a girl she was way beyond devastated. She wanted to abort me. I was nearly aborted just because I was a girl! I always thought its not my fault I'm a girl! 3 years later my mom had her second child. It was a boy -- always what she wanted! Now, she pays a lot of attention on my brother and not on me. If I was sick, I would still have to go to school. If my brother was sick, he would go to the doctor, take medicine, stay home, and watch TV.

Since my mom won't appreciate having a daughter I want to be a boy. Because I feel I get so little attention while I watch my brother have a good time living life to its fullest. Me? I'm living life to its emptiest. I'm also not able and uncomfortable to ACT like a girl and do things girls do. My mom turned me into a tomboy and inside of me I don't want to be a tomboy! I am scared to paint my nails! I am scared to wear a dress! I am scared to wear pink! I am scared to wear jewelry! I am scared to grow my hair long! I am scared to braid my hair! I am scared to wear makeup! I wish I could do all that! Because not once in my life have I painted my nails. I never done what girls do.

By the time I hit puberty I was scared to tell my mom about it. I ended up telling my dad. Its very awkward telling a dad but between both parents I rather tell dad. I actually had to tell him I had my period because I was too afraid to tell my mom because I did not know how she would react. However she does know now because my dad told her. When it was time to get a bra I was over the top well beyond scared. I always thought what my mom would think!

I think the fact how my mom doesn't like it how she has a daughter has taken control of my life and everything I do is based on it. I think I need help..

Wondergirl · Aug 24, 2013, 09:23 PM

I know lots of females who never did and still don't paint their nails, fuss with hairdos, go crazy with makeup, etc. Being a girl is NOT what you do to your body to supposedly enhance it.

Now, tell me -- do you and your mom ever get along? If so, what is happening?

grapefruit596 · Aug 24, 2013, 09:33 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

I know lots of females who never did and still don't paint their nails, fuss with hairdos, go crazy with makeup, etc. Being a girl is NOT what you do to your body to supposedly enhance it.

Now, tell me -- do you and your mom ever get along? If so, what is happening?

Well we just don't spend much time together. Like we don't argue a lot or anything she just rarely talks to me

Wondergirl · Aug 24, 2013, 09:37 PM

Originally Posted by grapefruit596

Well we just don't spend much time together. Like we don't argue a lot or anything she just rarely talks to me

Are there opportunities to spend time together? Preparing meals, baking stuff, cleaning house, washing the car(s), cleaning out cabinets?

Does she work full time?

grapefruit596 · Aug 24, 2013, 09:42 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Are there opportunities to spend time together? preparing meals, baking stuff, cleaning house, washing the car(s), cleaning out cabinets?

Does she work full time?

She gets my brother to do all that and do stuff with her and yes she works full time and takes a break on weekends

Wondergirl · Aug 24, 2013, 09:44 PM

Originally Posted by grapefruit596

She gets my brother to do all that and do stuff with her and yes she works full time and takes a break on weekends

So he is made to do all the chores and you just sit around looking cute, or what? Sounds like he should be jealous of YOU.

What do you do to contribute to the family?

grapefruit596 · Aug 24, 2013, 09:49 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

So he is made to do all the chores and you just sit around looking cute, or what? Sounds like he should be jealous of YOU.

What do you do to contribute to the family?

I meant my brother is spending a lot of time with mom and yes he does help with chores and I don't know if he's jealous or not he doesn't seem to mind It I think.

And I sometimes just sweep the floor or do the laundry

Wondergirl · Aug 24, 2013, 10:01 PM

Originally Posted by grapefruit596

I meant my brother is spending a lot of time with mom and yes he does help with chores and I don't know if hes jealous or not he doesn't seem to mind It I think.

And I sometimes just sweep the floor or do the laundry

Do you ever ask or volunteer to help, or are you told to sweep and do laundry? You should have daily chores. At the age you are now you should know how to cook simple meals and be able to bake brownies, cookies, and even cupcakes (and make frosting). You should be doing your own laundry all the time, set the table, clear it off, load the dishwasher (or wash dishes by hand, dry them, and put them away, if no dishwasher).

Are you interested in doing any of the above?

joypulv · Aug 25, 2013, 03:04 AM

I have a few slightly different questions.
How much of the wish that you were a boy did she tell you, and how much do you get from her actions toward your brother?
Are you from a culture where boys are prized above girls?
Have you ever tried to talk with her about how you feel, and even ask her how she feels?