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    anna73's Avatar
    anna73 Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Aug 21, 2013, 10:40 AM
    I don't like my boyfriend. Is it a mistake?
    Some times I feel it was all a mistake! I didn't have the same feeling. He loves me very much. I think I like him, but some times I feel he's not my type, and it hurts because I don't want to hurt his feeling and he's really a good boy.

    He's not like the others, but there's something about him that I hate. He has a kind of accent and he's not that handsome. I know you may think I'm such a fool but I just can't stand him when he talks like that and its not just that. Some times I feel he's like a baby!

    I really don't know what to do. I'm not sure if I can let him go. Please help me.
    odinn7's Avatar
    odinn7 Posts: 7,691, Reputation: 1547
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    #2

    Aug 21, 2013, 10:46 AM
    You're kind of young, aren't you?

    So if you don't like him and think everything he says and does including how he sounds when he talks is no good... then do him a great big favor and break up with him. This way, he can move forward and find someone who likes him for who he is instead of someone who is just hanging on because they don't want to be without a boyfriend.

    So I have to ask... if you like nothing about him, why did you start anything with him in the first place?
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #3

    Aug 21, 2013, 10:49 AM
    Like odinn said do him a favor and break up do you think he would want to find out years down the road that the relationship he thinks he has is a lie?
    anna73's Avatar
    anna73 Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Aug 21, 2013, 10:56 AM
    Yeah I am young.but that doesn't mean I'm after these things.I said I like him.I just don't like the way he talks! That doesn't mean we have to brake up I guess!
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
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    #5

    Aug 21, 2013, 11:00 AM
    You cannot change him into your concept of a 'Prince Charming'. You either adapt (learn to live with) to what makes him the individual he is or you walk away.

    You seem to care more about not hurting his feelings than you do him. That is not enough to hold a relationship together.

    You have several red flags: You don't like how he talks. You don't think he is attractive enough. You think he acts like a baby. But the biggest red flag is that you don't think you have the same feelings he does.

    You cannot make yourself love someone any more than you can make someone love you. If you do not love him or care for him the way he cares for you, then let him go. It will hurt for awhile. But you will both heal and move on with your lives. It is healthier in the long term than trying to hold on to something that isn't there or attempting make yourself feel something you don't.
    odinn7's Avatar
    odinn7 Posts: 7,691, Reputation: 1547
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    #6

    Aug 21, 2013, 11:17 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by anna73 View Post
    yeah i am young.but that doesn't mean i'm after these things.i said i like him.i just don't like the way he talks! that doesn't mean we have to brake up i guess!

    You said:

    Quote Originally Posted by anna73 View Post
    i think i like him
    Quote Originally Posted by anna73 View Post
    some thing about him that i hate.he has a kind of accent and he's not that handsome
    Quote Originally Posted by anna73 View Post
    i feel he's like a baby!!
    The poor guy just doesn't have a chance with you at all... he has so much going against him.
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #7

    Aug 21, 2013, 12:02 PM
    Doesn't mean you have to break up... Why give him false hope?
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
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    #8

    Aug 21, 2013, 01:07 PM
    You are the one like a baby. You say you like this guy but you like very little about him yet see no reason why you should break up with him.
    Why don't you think you can let him go? Is it because he cares about you and you don't think anyone else will?
    Leave this guy alone. You don't deserve him and you don't keep someone around for such selfish reasons.
    anna73's Avatar
    anna73 Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #9

    Aug 21, 2013, 01:13 PM
    Tnx guys! No really.. ifeel like a monster!! Isn't it just enough??
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #10

    Aug 21, 2013, 01:16 PM
    Isn't what enough? Just liking him and leading him to believe you have a thing for him -as relationship?
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
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    #11

    Aug 21, 2013, 01:32 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by anna73 View Post
    tnx guys!! no really..ifeel like a monster!!! isn't it just enough????
    Would that be enough for you? Would you stay with a guy who like you but does not think you're that cute and can't stand to hear you talk and thinks you act like a baby, but hey he likes you. Would that be enough for you?
    odinn7's Avatar
    odinn7 Posts: 7,691, Reputation: 1547
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    #12

    Aug 21, 2013, 01:42 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Homegirl 50 View Post
    Would that be enough for you? Would you stay with a guy who like you but does not think you're that cute and can't stand to hear you talk and thinks you act like a baby, but hey he likes you. Would that be enough for you?
    Good point, well said. I tried to +1 you but I need to spread it around first.
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
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    #13

    Aug 21, 2013, 04:38 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by anna73 View Post
    tnx guys!! no really..ifeel like a monster!!! isn't it just enough????
    Do you mind sharing how old you are?

    You aren't a "monster". You are learning about relationships and that some do not work out. Life lessons aren't easy and are often painful. But you have a better idea of what you want in your next boyfriend.

    "Monsters" are the ones who stay in relationships they know won't work out because they are too selfish to let go. It is selfish to stay in a relationship to avoid hurting yourself or being seen as the 'bad person'.

    Some people just are not meant to be a couple.
    LULU42's Avatar
    LULU42 Posts: 40, Reputation: 3
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    #14

    Aug 21, 2013, 05:54 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by anna73 View Post
    tnx guys!! no really..ifeel like a monster!!! isn't it just enough????
    Just break up with the poor guy Im sure he will find someone who loves that accent do him a favor.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #15

    Aug 21, 2013, 06:49 PM
    Hard to be honest with others when you aren't honest with yourself. You don't need help, you need to be honest with him.
    anna73's Avatar
    anna73 Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #16

    Aug 21, 2013, 09:33 PM
    I'm 18.I really don't want to break his heart.since it's not a long time we met so... every day I just realize how breakable he is.that's the reason I'm not breaking up with him.I always look at the positive points he has.I like him.is it a mistake to go on and see if I can fall in love with him??
    Now that's the place I'm being honest with myself.
    I'm confused! I'm not selfish.. just don't be that cruel..
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #17

    Aug 21, 2013, 09:38 PM
    So imagine you do not want to break up with him and a year from now you are no happier, 2 years from now he is really annoying you, 3 years from now you are down right miserable -- at what point are you going to make the decisión to tell him you don't want to be a couple. Do you think he will take it easier or harder by the time you finally do get around to it?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #18

    Aug 21, 2013, 09:48 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by anna73 View Post
    i'm 18.i really don't want to break his heart.since it's not a long time we met so...every day i just realize how breakable he is.that's the reason i'm not breaking up with him.i always look at the positive points he has.i like him.is it a mistake to go on and see if i can fall in love with him??!
    now that's the place i'm being honest with myself.
    i'm confused! i'm not selfish..just don't be that cruel..
    Of course it's a mistake to drag this on while you see if you can fall in love. Just be honest and tell him how you feel and stop leading him on. That's not confusing at all. Do the right thing for you both. This is unhealthy and unfair so do something beside be confused.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #19

    Aug 21, 2013, 09:53 PM
    Yes, it's a mistake. You are playing with someone's emotions. Someone's heart.

    Are you so cold hearted that you would drag him along in the hopes that someday you MIGHT fall in love with him?

    Do him a favor. Break it off before you hurt him worse than you already are going to.

    You are 18? I would have guessed 12.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #20

    Aug 21, 2013, 11:10 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by anna73 View Post
    i'm 18.i really don't want to break his heart.since it's not a long time we met so...every day i just realize how breakable he is.that's the reason i'm not breaking up with him.i always look at the positive points he has.i like him.is it a mistake to go on and see if i can fall in love with him??!
    now that's the place i'm being honest with myself.
    i'm confused! i'm not selfish..just don't be that cruel..
    You're 18? I would have bet money based on your post, the writing, the petty things you find off-putting about this guy, that you were 13 or younger.

    So you want to wait and see if you'll stop finding his voice annoying, if you'll start to find him more attractive, if you'll start to accept how he acts, and you want to know if that's wrong?

    The title of this thread is "I don't like my boyfriend. Is it a mistake". You expect to fall in love with someone you don't even like?

    Yes, it's wrong. The fact that you don't know that at 18, is even more wrong.

    You have a lot of growing up to do, and I suggest you break up with him, let him find someone that actually likes him, and has a chance to fall in love with him, and then you take a break from dating until you're more mature.

    As for us being cruel, we're telling you the truth. If you can't face the truth, you shouldn't have asked for opinions.

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