[serafina]

So basically my mom and dad make it harder to feel happy, my mom overspends, my dad yells, my mom and dad often argue and more recently my mom was acting/talking in a suicidal way. Ever since my mom has started this diet that my dad and I also have to be on, my mom has gotten to be more and more obsessed/obsessive with nutrition and my mom has at some times been telling me how and what to eat. She has said I can't eat something anymore, and it really bothers me because whenever she talks like this to me she usually will repeat herself. It makes me feel bad, and makes it harder to get myself esteem better. I am already a picky eater, and I feel like it really doesn't help when my mom has talked like this. Also, whenever my dad yells, I'll sometimes just get so upset. My dad has said things like that he wants to choke my mom, after he found out how much she spent at the store while we were away visiting some of his relatives. I actually got angry and I rarely had before that, in part because of his attitude on that day, how he was acting inside walmart, he was throwing a fit. He called the cashier woman stupid, when he mentioned her inside the car he called her a racial slur. I just got so mad, and I was in a good mood before. I got even more mad when my dad said I don't want to go to the family reunion that we always go to, when I did want to go. He was talking about me to my mom as if I wasn't there. I never can find any decent ways to cope, and I have a bad memory so its really sucky when you mostly only remember the bad things.

[joypulv]

How old are you?
My parents fought all the time - over my mother's spending, over everything. My mother yelled at us all constantly.
What to do? You wait until you are out of high school, and you prepare for leaving home. Work and save what you can, study to stay away from them and to get good grades. Plan your future. Learn an extra skill, whether it's cashiering or making pizza or an infant care course. You can't change your parents. It's not easy for a teen to tell parents how much they are hurting you, and they are so wrapped up in their problems that they can't see it anyway.
So.. how many years left of school? Are you planning to go to college, or work, or what?

[serafina]

I'm 16. I have 2 years left of school. I don't want to go to college because I feel like it's hard enough just to get through school. Thanks for answering, by the way.

[joypulv]

Could you get a part time job at Walmart?
I used to babysit after school... lived out in the middle of nowhere. But it helped.

[serafina]

I could try, but I don't think it'd work out until I'm at least 17. Idk anyone here and no one seems to want me to babysit but... OK. Maybe I can figure out something.

[joypulv]

Why don't you know anyone? Did you just move? Where do you live?

[serafina]

I don't know most people here because I just don't get out much. I barely talk to any of my neighbors. People at school mostly don't even try to talk to me and it can be like I'm socially awkward when I try to talk to them, or at least it seems that way. We moved here when I was 8 or a little younger, so no I didn't just move. I live in Washington.

[joypulv]

Awkward, shy, seems like they won't talk to you - there is always at least one person just like you in any school. At least in my vast experience... I don't know every school of course. Think for a second: is there anyone in your class who seems sort of alone?

[Wondergirl]

Rather than be upset with your mom's diet plan and maybe fight about it, go with the flow and ask her to teach you how to make some of the foods, or if you know your way around the kitchen, surf the Internet for appropriate recipes and pair up with her to make them. That way you will have some control over the food you eat. (What kind of diet is it? We're going through this at my house with the Atkins diet.)

Rather than be a victim or martyr, find ways to cooperate and even take some control, at least of your own feelings. YOU are the one who chooses to be upset, and you don't have to.

[serafina]

Yeah, I sort of can be a little bit awkward, and I am sometimes shy. There isn't anyone else I can see at school in any of my classes who seems to have so few friends. Then there's me, a few people say I'm their friend or we're friends, but most of the time they won't even talk to me often so it doesn't even feel like we're aquiantances. I have one real friend, and sometimes it feels like people just won't give me a chance for some stupid reason. At school most of the time people won't talk to me, especially other kids unless they're asking if me and my only real friend are dating.

[serafina]

Rather than be upset with your mom's diet plan and maybe fight about it, go with the flow and ask her to teach you how to make some of the foods, or if you know your way around the kitchen, surf the Internet for appropriate recipes and pair up with her to make them. That way you will have some control over the food you eat. (What kind of diet is it? We're going through this at my house with the Atkins diet.)

Rather than be a victim or martyr, find ways to cooperate and even take some control, at least of your own feelings. YOU are the one who chooses to be upset, and you don't have to.

It's not really just her diet plan, its just the way she talks about stuff sometimes does not make myself esteem or eating habits better. I was not trying to fight about it. I don't really want to look up recipes... It's a vegetarian diet, and honestly I don't have that many problems with it. Its just when my mom tells me how I should and shouldn't eat and says it so many times it starts to sound controlling. I get what you're saying, I really do. Although I don't know if it helps.

[Wondergirl]

This is probably a dumb question, but are you male or female? ("Serafina" to me is female.)

[serafina]

This is probably a dumb question, but are you male or female? ("Serafina" to me is female.)

I'm a female. I chose serafina as my username because I like it better than my actual first name.

[Wondergirl]

I'm a female. I chose serafina as my username because I like it better than my actual first name.

You know what it means, don't you? "Fiery one."

[serafina]

You know what it means, don't you? "Fiery one."

I have no idea. I just saw it in a national geographic but spelled differently, one time in 8th grade. I liked it better than my name so I decided to eventually put it in a username or two. I didn't realize the meaning of it was that.

[Wondergirl]

I have no idea. I just saw it in a national geographic but spelled differently, one time in 8th grade. I liked it better than my name so I decided to eventually put it in a username or two. I didn't realize the meaning of it was that.

I think you are fated to be the shining light for your parents. :) I can think of all sorts of positive things you can do to be that light in their lives.

[serafina]

I think you are fated to be the shining light for your parents. :) I can think of all sorts of positive things you can do to be that light in their lives.

Oh, okay. Well, I'll think about what that really means. But, I'm not too sure. Anyway, thanks for leaving an answer to my question.

[joypulv]

Tell us more about your one real friend...
As for how mom pressures you, I do understand that. I also remember that I didn't have what it took as a teen to deal with my mother rationally. I was just engulfed in the powerlessness I felt. I wasn't allowed to have a mind of my own - and I didn't! Took me YEARS.

[serafina]

My one real friend, is a boy, and I mostly only see him at school. Its annoying because people assume we're dating. And although he likes me that way, I don't want to ruin my only decent friendship I've had in school in years. Yeah, I like how you at least try to understand it. Honestly, I wish I could get a job already so I could just start saving for an apartment, and have it be a crappy job I can quit so after high school I can just go to job corps. It feels kind of nice to talk to people. I mean, I feel like I can have a mind of my own, but sometimes I just don't like it because its kind of messed up, but I do mean it actually is.

[joypulv]

I guess it's good that your boy friend is willing to just be friends. I wish you had a best girl friend, someone to share everything with, and to hang out with outside of school, but you have someone.

I'm 66. My mother died 7 years ago. But I still fantasize about how I would have done my teen years differently. I took off after high school and got into some pretty miserable situations because I had no idea what I wanted or what I was doing.

Job Corps - good. I didn't even know they were still around. What kind of skill would you like to have, that can earn a living?
As for apartments, I couldn't afford my own (and neither will you I'll bet), so I shared with sometimes as many as 5 roommates. When I made $3/hr, my rent was 65 + utilities. If you make $10/hr, sharing rent could be $225+. So it's the same relatively, but rents vary a lot around the country.
There's good and bad with roommates, but at least it's cheap and you are never lonely. There's always one roomie who drives everyone else nuts.
So what kinds of work do you think you would like to be able to get after high school? If you could do anything, I mean.