[Merry16]

Hi, I am engaged and soon to be married. In my culture it is absolutely necessary to show hymen blood on white sheets. I know that not every women bleeds but my culture does not understand that. Anyway, my fiancé knows that I am not a virgin. However, for culture sake we need to find a way to prove this to our family members. He does not want me to get hymenoplasty due to the psychological affects he might have. I want to just know if there is anything similar to hymen blood? For example, body blood that can be drawn out of me. Give me answers. Thank you.

[ScottGem]

Blood is Blood. I don't know anyway to tell blood from your hymen breaking or from a cut.

Are you saying that your family (or your husband's) will actually check the sheets?

[Alty]

Like Scott said, blood is blood. Blood from your non-existent (since you're not a virgin) hymen breaking, is the same blood as when you cut your arm, your leg, your finger, etc. It's a wound, and the blood from a wound is the same, no matter where you wound yourself.

So prick your finger, put the blood on the white sheets, show your family members (this is so warped) and they should be content. If they send it out for testing, I'd be really interested to know what test they would perform to prove it's "hymen blood", since there's no way to differentiate. The only way they'll know is if someone is in the room with you and your husband to make sure you don't cheat (that would be even more warped than the scenario you've already presented).

[J_9]

Have sex while you are on your period and the problem will be solved.

[Alty]

Have sex while you are on your period and the problem will be solved.

Good idea. Lots of blood on the sheets, so even if a family member is standing guard, watching to make sure she doesn't cheat, there will be blood, no cutting, no pricking, no props.

Usually we get question like these where the woman is trying to fool the groom to be. In this case the groom knows, and he's okay with it. I'm in shock that the family wants proof via blood on the sheets. Someone really needs to educate these people. Not for this OP, she's talked to her husband to be, he's okay that she's not a virgin, and she's educated enough to know that even if she were, bleeding the first time isn't a sure thing. But for other girls that won't bleed, even though they are virgins, it can be a death sentence, only because these people aren't educated. :(

[J_9]

This is very common in certain cultures so that the couple will receive their dowry.

Remember we have to respect cultural diversity?

[Alty]

This is very common in certain cultures so that the couple will receive their dowry.

Remember we have to respect cultural diversity?

I do respect that this is a different culture. The fact that many of the girls in cultures like this can be legally killed if they don't bleed on their wedding night, even though not all virgins bleed, is what ticks me off.

To each their own, it's their culture, and I respect that. I don't respect innocent girls being condemned because of a simple lack of education. Not all virgins bleed their first time. But, in this culture, if you don't bleed, you're lying, you're not a virgin, and you're condemned.

I'm not asking that they change their beliefs, I'm asking that they educate themselves instead of condemning innocent girls.

I realize that's not the case on this thread, the OP isn't a virgin, so she definitely won't bleed on her wedding night. But for those girls that adhere to their cultural beliefs, they shouldn't have to be worried on their wedding night if they don't bleed.

[J_9]

While I don't disagree with you, asking an entire culture to educate themselves is a lesson in futility. It won't happen. This is something that has been going on for centuries, it's not going to change any time soon.

[Alty]

While I don't disagree with you, asking an entire culture to educate themselves is a lesson in futility. It won't happen. This is something that has been going on for centuries, it's not going to change any time soon.

I agree with you as well. Having said that, when someone comes to this site (and we get a lot of these sorts of questions), I will educate by telling them that not all women bleed their first time. I can't change centuries of misinformation, but I can give them the correct information when they come here. :)

I realize that we can't expect this to change in the countries of origin. They have their beliefs and they're stuck in them. But if someone finds this site, and asks questions, I'm not going to give them an answer that conforms to their beliefs, I'm going to tell them the truth.

[ScottGem]

I can understand the cultural preference for virginity. But to go so far as to check the sheets seems going too far in this day and age.

[Fr_Chuck]

Yes, in some cultures, the grooms family will inspect the sheets to see that there is blood, to be sure, that the marriage meets any arrangement that was made.

It shows a very uneducated culture, since the issue of bleeding has been proved not to happen in all cases. Of course there are still cultures where the girl may be killed for not doing an arranged marriage also.

[Merry16]

Blood is Blood. I don't know anyway to tell blood from your hymen breaking or from a cut.

Are you saying that your family (or your husband's) will actually check the sheets?

Wow I did not know this. Yes, his mother will be checking the sheets. All the women from my side of the family and his will witness as well.

[Merry16]

Like Scott said, blood is blood. Blood from your non-existent (since you're not a virgin) hymen breaking, is the same blood as when you cut your arm, your leg, your finger, etc. It's a wound, and the blood from a wound is the same, no matter where you wound yourself.

So prick your finger, put the blood on the white sheets, show your family members (this is so warped) and they should be content. If they send it out for testing, I'd be really interested to know what test they would perform to prove it's "hymen blood", since there's no way to differentiate. The only way they'll know is if someone is in the room with you and your husband to make sure you don't cheat (that would be even more warped than the scenario you've already presented).

I will then prick my finger :) sounds like a great idea. I was thinking of using permanent fabric bright red dye? Because supposedly you can't "wash off" virgin blood. Also, the older women pour vodka-like substance and if the blood spreads you are a virgin if it does not spread, then you are faking the whole process. This is what I have been told by girls in my culture who are already married now. I just asked out of "curiosity" to be prepared.

[Alty]

I will then prick my finger :) sounds like a great idea. I was thinking of using permanent fabric bright red dye? Because supposedly you can't "wash off" virgin blood. Also, the older women pour vodka-like substance and if the blood spreads you are a virgin if it does not spread, then you are faking the whole process. This is what I have been told by girls in my culture who are already married now. I just asked out of "curiosity" to be prepared.

Blood is blood. Dye is dye. I don't know about the vodka pouring thing, or blood spreading if you do that. I'd have to research it. Also, "virgin" blood is just blood. Think about it. When a girl loses her virginity the little flap of flesh (the hymen) is torn. Sometimes a girl bleeds when her hymen is torn, sometimes she doesn't. Some girls tear their hymen long before they have their first sexual experience. Others are born without a hymen.

But, if a girl does bleed, it's blood from her body. It's not special blood. It's no different than any of the blood in her body. For some there's a lot of blood, for others there's only a few drops, and then there are those that don't bleed at all.

If blood is what you need to fake your virginity and fulfill your end of the bargain, a prick of the finger (doesn't even have to be your finger, can be his) will do the trick. Unless they expect a lot of blood, then you may have to get more creative.

The biggest hurdle is your husband to be. Most of the questions we get about this sort of thing is how to fool the groom on the wedding night. Since that's not an issue, I'd say you're half way there. Now you just need to fool the relatives that are waiting for your blood soaked sheets. That's easy enough to do if they're not in the room with you.

[Merry16]

Blood is blood. Dye is dye. I don't know about the vodka pouring thing, or blood spreading if you do that. I'd have to research it. Also, "virgin" blood is just blood. Think about it. When a girl loses her virginity the little flap of flesh (the hymen) is torn. Sometimes a girl bleeds when her hymen is torn, sometimes she doesn't. Some girls tear their hymen long before they have their first sexual experience. Others are born without a hymen.

But, if a girl does bleed, it's blood from her body. It's not special blood. It's no different than any of the blood in her body. For some there's a lot of blood, for others there's only a few drops, and then there are those that don't bleed at all.

If blood is what you need to fake your virginity and fulfill your end of the bargain, a prick of the finger (doesn't even have to be your finger, can be his) will do the trick. Unless they expect a lot of blood, then you may have to get more creative.

The biggest hurdle is your husband to be. Most of the questions we get about this sort of thing is how to fool the groom on the wedding night. Since that's not an issue, I'd say you're half way there. Now you just need to fool the relatives that are waiting for your blood soaked sheets. That's easy enough to do if they're not in the room with you.

Ok so I'll stick to the blood thing. I guess the people in my culture makeup their own theories? Yes, my fiancé knows about it and we are sexually active together. He accepts me. The only thing is, he admitted that it is like doing me a favor. He sees it as everyone celebrating something that has nothing to do with him. He said it with tears in his eyes, he doesn't care though he will do everything for me even if it hurts him. I love him for this and I'm sad he must go through this. I do not know how I will ever repay him. This culture is ridicolous, it's just Muslim religion influence too. We're both Macedonian, but Muslims because of the Turks, and have such a traditional culture.

[Merry16]

Ok so I'll stick to the blood thing. I guess the people in my culture makeup their own theories? Yes, my fiance knows about it and we are sexually active together. He accepts me. The only thing is, he admitted that it is like doing me a favor. He sees it as everyone celebrating something that has nothing to do with him. He said it with tears in his eyes, he doesn't care though he will do everything for me even if it hurts him. I love him for this and I'm sad he must go through this. I do not know how I will ever repay him. This culture is ridicolous, it's just Muslim religion influence too. We're both Macedonian, but Muslims because of the Turks, and have such a traditional culture.

Also they will not be in the room, we are going to be at a Hotel.

[Wondergirl]

Rather than cut a finger (they might look for cuts later and say the blood isn't from breaking your hymen), you might be able to sneak in a small vial of blood that you have collected earlier (but very recently). And be sure you spread it in/on the right places (maybe on you too -- do the women check the bride's body? -- or maybe I read too many books about this practice... ).

[Merry16]

Rather than cut a finger (they might look for cuts later and say the blood isn't from breaking your hymen), you might be able to sneak in a small vial of blood that you have collected earlier. And be sure you spread it in/on the right places (maybe on you too -- do the women check the bride's body? -- or maybe I read too many books about this practice.....).

Yes, I know what you mean. I will just then cut my sisters finger to be safe :) Also already buy white sheets before hand and spread the vial of blood. Hide the sheets. Then the day after the wedding, show the relatives.

[Merry16]

Rather than cut a finger (they might look for cuts later and say the blood isn't from breaking your hymen), you might be able to sneak in a small vial of blood that you have collected earlier (but very recently). And be sure you spread it in/on the right places (maybe on you too -- do the women check the bride's body? -- or maybe I read too many books about this practice.....).

And no my fiancé is very protective of me and won't allow anyone check my body. Mother in laws do it, but he does not allow it even if I really was a virgin.

[Wondergirl]

Yes, I know what you mean. I will just then cut my sisters finger to be safe :) Also already buy white sheets before hand and spread the vial of blood. Hide the sheets. Then the day after the wedding, show the relatives.

I imagined them anxiously waiting outside your door to see the evidence almost immediately. Be sure you know exactly how this will happen and have a perfect plan so you don't get caught.