[dynamo77]

My boyfriend sometimes watches porn. Although I have condemned him to do so but he does it sometimes only. So recently he asked me to watch a porn clip with him. I was shocked and didn't know how to respond. I get a puking sort feeling when I think of even watching that. Not that I am allergic to sex or kind of thing. But watching porn!! He has been after me to have just one time watch. What should I do? Should I watch it with him? Is it bad?

[Fr_Chuck]

Many men ( and some will disagree but I say most) watch porn, before it was playboy magazines or others like that.

Many women like to watch it also.

And many couples find it good foreplay prior to sex.

It is wrong to condemn him, he can watch it, if he wants to watch it. He should be honest with you about it,

But when you talk, you discuss, not start it by fighting

[CravenMorhead]

Haven't had a porn question in a while.

my boyfriend sometimes watches porn. Although I have condemned him to do so...

Why have you condemned him to do so? Do you condone him watching porn? Are you limiting sexual intercourse with him? If so why? Libido issues? Attraction issues?

... but he does it sometimes only. So recently he asked me to watch a porn clip with him. I was shocked and didn't know how to respond. I get a puking sort feeling when I think of even watching that. Not that I am allergic to sex or kind of thing. But watching porn!! He has been after me to have just one time watch. What should I do? Should I watch it with him? Is it bad?

Why do you get this feeling? Is it because you're ashamed that he's being turned on by someone other than you? Is it because you see this as his dissatisfaction with you and your body? Him telling you in a horrible way that he's unsatisfied with your body and needs to look at someone better looking to get off? And has no problems telling you this?

Think about this for a while. Figure out why it bugs you.

It isn't bad. He might be trying to turn you on to initiate a sexual encounter. Problem is that he doesn't realize that you won't react to the pornographic material as he does. He might be expecting you to get as wet as he is getting hard. Too bad that the women's arousal cycle is vastly different to the men's. It could be his way of saying I want some and I desperately want to turn you on so I can get some.

Should you watch it with him? Your choice. You can, you can not. It is up to you. It might lead to something good or something monumentally bad! Good being a sexual encounter. Bad being you so disgusted with him that it permanently harms the relationship.

I am still curious why you've condemned him to this.

[smoothy]

I want to know how you as a girlfriend or even wife... have the right to condem him for doing something he enjoys. Its not like he's picking up women in bars and bringing them home.

Now if you watch it with him or not is entirely up to you... if you were a bit more open minded about it there might actually be some types you enjoy... you certainly won't like it all... as he doesn't either.

He did extend the offer to you.

[N0help4u]

If it is offensive to you to the point you 'condemn' him then you either let him do it or find someone more compatible for yourself simply because you can not control someone else's actions. No you do not watch something you find offensive to please him... again you are probably better off finding someone more compatible.

[Wondergirl]

I was raised in a very conservative home, so that when I married, porn was not on my list of things to watch. What my husband did was rent some porn videos that had a storyline -- usually fairly well-done mysteries or detective stuff or police procedurals -- generally inoffensive but with some nudity. I'm sure there are also romantic comedies or dramas, adventure/thrillers and so on that might work for you.This was back in the late '60s. Now there are feature films that are R-rated and NC-17 because of nudity and other adult themes.

Maybe start with an R-rated movie (Top Grossing R Rated Movies at the Box Office) and see if that sort of thing works for you. If it does, then there are the NC-17 films (Top Grossing NC-17 Rated Movies at the Box Office).

Of course, this should be a conversation you two need to have during a non-stressed, peaceful time. Please be upfront with him about what you need from him, as I hope he will be with you.