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Beccy010 · Jul 31, 2013, 02:58 AM

I really want to go to boarding school but my parents won't let me. I have tried to let them go by telling them all about the school and writing a persuasive letter saying why I want to go, good things about the school and stories where people have gone to boarding school. The school I want to apply for is a great school where they have a family community, outstanding academic results and will get you into great universities. I know my parents care about me and want me to be happy but I want to go so desperately. It is not really expensive and I'm sure we could afford it. We could perhaps get financial help and I'm above average and in the gifted and talented.

ScottGem · Jul 31, 2013, 03:06 AM

Why are they saying no? You may think its affordable, But I doubt if you really know the family finances. A boarding school will probably cost a minimum of $20K a year, probably a lot more. That's a lot of money.

teacherjenn4 · Jul 31, 2013, 05:58 AM

Have you actually been to the school and taken a tour of it? How far away is it from your home? What bothers you about your current school?

ebaines · Jul 31, 2013, 06:10 AM

As a graduate of a boarding school myself, and having sent my two children to boarding schools, I applaud your initiative in looking into boarding school opportunities. I suggest you have a discussion with your parents to understand what their issues are. It may be financial (yes, boarding schools are very expensive), but it may also be that they are not prepared to have their child go away for so much of the year. It does require sacrfice on their part to have their child leave home, and they must trust that the school will take good care of you, and that you won't get into trouble with drugs, alcohol, etc while under someone else's watch. It may also require some effort and expense for you to travel back and forth for vacations. And for them to come see you for parents' weeknd, sporting events, etc. However, from my experiences with some pretty good boarding schools I can say without a doubt that advantages in terms of opportunities make it more than worthwhile. Depending on the school the academics may be among the best in the country, but perhaps more important the opportunity to meet and work with kids from all over the country (indeed the world), experience arts, sports, and cultural events that are probably not available at home, and experience a bit of independence in a safe environment make boarding schools an excellent choice for many people. So keep after them, and I would suggest that you all go together and take a tour of the school when it's in session and make up your minds after that. Good luck!

Fr_Chuck · Jul 31, 2013, 06:18 AM

A boarding school is very expensive, do your parents make several 100,000 a year. Next you can get a great education anywhere. And most boarding schools will be well over the 20,000, many will be a lot more. And if this is not college, there is no aid available,

ebaines · Jul 31, 2013, 06:24 AM

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

And if this is not college, there is no aid available,

Not true.

There are no federal tax breaks available for secondary school education, but most boarding schools have scholarship money available. Many of the students at boarding schools come from families making much less than $100K. Talk to the admission office about scholarship opportunities.

joypulv · Jul 31, 2013, 06:31 AM

' It is not really expensive and I'm sure we could afford it. '

Those are not words of a mature young person. Expensive is a relative term (and I don't know anyone who even agrees with you) and being sure of something is meaningless if you don't KNOW with PROOF.
So drop the first part of that sentence, and get to work on the second. If there is financial aid, find out how to apply, for starters. Show that you are gifted in more ways than just academics.
I'm of two minds. I went to a rural public high school, got 700s on my boards, and got a full scholarship to an Ivy League college. BUT when I got there I felt overwhelmed by the course material, and didn't feel prepared - and I dropped out. So if you want to go to a top school, I sympathize with your wish to go to a prep school. On the other hand, thousands of students excel in all fields by attending good state schools. I wish I had done that instead! The irony in my case was that the expensive college had the most scholarship money, and it would have cost me more to go to a university.
So here it is almost 50 years later, and I'm still of two minds.

Fr_Chuck · Jul 31, 2013, 06:44 AM

Really no, there are few aid available and no government aid, if there is, it is normally private and that is less and less today.

Private schools are very costly, most private schools will be over 10,000 to 15,000 just for the school, not even the boarding.

Beccy010 · Jul 31, 2013, 07:23 AM

Originally Posted by ebaines

As a graduate of a boarding school myself, and having sent my two children to boarding schools, I applaud your initiative in looking into boarding school opportunities. I suggest you have a discussion with your parents to understand what their issues are. It may be financial (yes, boarding schools are very expensive), but it may also be that they are not prepared to have their child go away for so much of the year. It does require sacrfice on their part to have their child leave home, and they must trust that the school will take good care of you, and that you won't get into trouble with drugs, alcohol, etc while under someone else's watch. It may also require some effort and expense for you to travel back and forth for vacations. and for them to come see you for parents' weeknd, sporting events, etc. However, from my experiences with some pretty good boarding schools I can say without a doubt that advantages in terms of opportunities make it more than worthwhile. Depending on the school the academics may be among the best in the country, but perhaps more important the opportunity to meet and work with kids from all over the country (indeed the world), experience arts, sports, and cultural events that are probably not available at home, and experience a bit of independence in a safe environment make boarding schools an excellent choice for many people. So keep after them, and I would suggest that you all go together and take a tour of the school when it's in session and make up your minds after that. Good luck!

Thanks I'll give your advice a go. It has given me some inspiration.

ebaines · Jul 31, 2013, 08:15 AM

Originally Posted by joypulv

.. I went to a rural public high school, got 700s on my boards, and got a full scholarship to an Ivy League college.

You are dating yourself! Ivy League schools used to offer academic scholarships but stopped that many years ago (even before I attended) in favor of need-based scholarships only. My father-in law received a completely free ride through an Ivy League school in the 1950's even though his parents had some money, but by the time his daughter and I were attending in the 1970's all scholarship aid was completely need-based instead.

joypulv · Jul 31, 2013, 08:27 AM

ebaines, this was 1964. I actually received 2 scholarships, one private and one from the school. My parents were paying for my 2 older siblings' tuitions that year. All I recall is that both academics and finances were factors.

ebaines · Jul 31, 2013, 08:29 AM

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

Really no, there are few aid available and no government aid, if there is, it is normally private and that is less and less today.

I think you are confusing typical private day schools with boarding schools. Do some research. The situation on aid available varies tremendously from school-to-school, so a blanket statement that little aid is available is wrong. Just as one example: below is a link to the financial aid page for the prep school my children attended. The goal with their aid is that any family making less than $80K/year gets a free ride, and families making between $80K and $200K should pay no more than 10% of their income. This level of aid is very similar to what a top tier private university would offer, and is not unusual among top prep schools in the country. But again - the amount of available aid varies tremendously from school to school.

St. Paul's School ~ Tuition and Finances

Also, here's a link to the National Association of Independent Schools web site that talks about the myth that only the most wealthy families can afford an independent school tuition. The site also has good info on sources for low interest rate loans: http://parents.nais.org/Articles/Pag...ncial-Aid.aspx

Fr_Chuck · Jul 31, 2013, 08:44 AM

I guess a silly question, I may have missed, what level school are they wanting to go to, I assume boarding school is 12th grade or under.

And what country is this,

Beccy010 · Jul 31, 2013, 08:57 AM

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

I guess a silly question, i may have missed, what level school are they wanting to go to, I assume boarding school is 12th grade or under.

And what country is this,

I live in and am applying for a school in England. The school pupils are 11 - 18 years.

ScottGem · Jul 31, 2013, 09:20 AM

Originally Posted by Beccy010

I live in and am applying for a school in England. The school pupils are 11 - 18 years.

That does make a difference, As I understand it, boarding schools are much more prevalent in England, than the US.

Beccy010 · Sep 2, 2013, 04:56 AM

I have took some of your advice and asked my parents what are their concerns. I felt that it would be best to do some research and come back to them when I have information on the matters. They gave me four reasons they won't let me go
1. fees(expenses)
2. They would miss me too much
3. They seam to think that boarding schools are only for people with family problems or when parents work long hours or travel lots and they have no one to look after them
4. They say that they didn't have a child to send her away.

ScottGem · Sep 2, 2013, 07:25 AM

Except for reason 3, they are all good reasons. And even 3 has an element of truth in it.

ebaines · Sep 3, 2013, 05:55 AM

Reasons 2 and 4 fall into the category of "it would be emotionally difficult for us to not have you around." This is true of all families that have a child away at school - it is indeed a sacrifice for all. The question isn't whether there is some sacrifice involved; the question is whether the sacrifice is worth what you would gain. To that end it would be helpful if you personally know of other families who have sons or daugters at boarding school have you parents talk to them, find out why they sent their child away, wasn't it difficult, do they regret their choice. I would expect that the answers would be that the opportunities the child received, the education excellence, the exposure to cultures, and the network of friends built up from all over the country are some of the reasons that they would give, and I would also expect that most (not all) would say that yes, ithe emotional pain as well as the financial burden were worth it.

As for reason number 3 - indeed some families may send their child because of the "convenience" if there are troubles at home of if they travel a lot. But to say that it's "only" for these types of family is ignorant. My experence with boarding schools in the US is that 90% of the children are from good strong families, and I have never heard of excessive business travel as a reason given. The vast majority of families send their kids to boarding schools because they love them and because they have the means to be able to provide the best possible educational opportunities for their children.