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New Member
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Jul 29, 2013, 07:58 PM
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Should I ask her or not?
I've know her for at least a year already and well at first I liked her only as friends but soon I started to get mixed emotion for her and well now I'm in love with her. She has a boyfriend yet she told me a couple of days ago that she has feelings for me and it's a stronger feeling than the one with her boyfriend, and well she also told me that when she would think of the memories with her boyfriend and she didn't feel a thing but when she would think of the memories with me and well she cries because they felt special to her.
The only thing is that she doesn't really want to accept what her heart thinks, and well I'm always there for her and stuff yet her boyfriend isn't really there for her when she needs him but I am. Yet I've been there since the start of her relationship with her boyfriend.
I've talked to a family member about this and well she says I should go for it because I would be better for her because of the way I treated her and well its better than the way her boyfriend was with her.
So... should I ask her out or I just keep my mouth shut and stay friends with her
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Uber Member
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Jul 29, 2013, 08:06 PM
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You can't "go for it" You can make a comment that if 'n when she ever breaks up with him you are in line. Its never good to break up a relationship even if it's a really bad one. You'll just be creating a lot of problems. You have to wait until she breaks up with him and you are sure Its over and she is ready to move on.
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New Member
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Jul 29, 2013, 08:27 PM
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 Originally Posted by N0help4u
You can't "go for it" You can make a comment that if 'n when she ever breaks up with him you are in line. Its never good to break up a relationship even if its a really bad one. You'll just be creating a lot of problems. You have to wait until she breaks up with him and you are sure Its over and she is ready to move on.
Well OK... but like we were messaging each other and well she was telling me that she just realized she doesn't want to be with her boyfriend because he doesn't make her happy as I do and well she told him if she can be free and she wants some time off and well he said "no but I guess" but soon later she tells me that he doesn't want to do that.
Yes I know that it good to break up a relationship but that conversation we had kept me thinking who does she want to be with... me or her boyfriend
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current pert
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Jul 29, 2013, 08:34 PM
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I can't tell if she's feeling you out to see how much you want a romantic relationship, or if she's playing you and the boyfriend against each other.
So just be open and honest. Tell her that you don't want to get into a duel with the guy but that you would love to love her - IF she breaks up with him. I would suggest that if she does break up with him that you tell her you won't start getting intensely involved right away, just so that you don't become the 'rebound man.'
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Uber Member
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Jul 29, 2013, 08:35 PM
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Its all on her
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New Member
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Jul 29, 2013, 08:46 PM
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 Originally Posted by joypulv
I can't tell if she's feeling you out to see how much you want a romantic relationship, or if she's playing you and the boyfriend against each other.
So just be open and honest. Tell her that you don't want to get into a duel with the guy but that you would love to love her - IF she breaks up with him. I would suggest that if she does break up with him that you tell her you won't start getting intensely involved right away, just so that you don't become the 'rebound man.'
Thanks for the advice but just to let everyone know... she had told me that she had a crush on my but backed off because of her friend yet she had a crush on me and now she has this feeling for me again but am not sure if its what she want, and well theirs time when I hugged her when she was felling down or hurting inside or when I let her cry on my shoulder... and well that's when I was getting her trust and she told me one time when we were talking during lunch alone and well she said I make her feel so much better when I hug her or let her cry on my shoulder... and that was every time her boyfriend broke her heart(5or 6 times) and well when she was having a bad day
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Pets Expert
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Jul 29, 2013, 08:46 PM
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She has a boyfriend. If she wants to be with you, she'll break up with her boyfriend. If she doesn't do that, then she doesn't feel as strongly about you as you think she does.
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Expert
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Jul 29, 2013, 08:53 PM
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You ignore the obvious my friend as if she thought you would be a better man there would be no way she would still be with him now would there? She is feeding you a load of crap and instead of dumping him for not being a good boyfriend, she feeds you false hope and crap behind his back and that's her true character.
No matter how good you would be she would have a Plan B behind your back too, so don't be a fool over this female. She is probably your friend because she is not all that happy, true, but what's more important is to pay attention to what she does about it.
How old are you guys anyway?
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New Member
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Jul 29, 2013, 08:53 PM
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 Originally Posted by Alty
She has a boyfriend. If she wants to be with you, she'll break up with her boyfriend. If she doesn't do that, then she doesn't feel as strongly about you as you think she does.
Thanks for your help... but she told her boyfriend she wanted to be free and have sometime off and well at first he said no but I guess... then soon later he told her No... and assuming she doesn't know what to do
 Originally Posted by talaniman
You ignore the obvious my friend as if she thought you would be a better man there would be no way she would still be with him now would there? She is feeding you a load of crap and instead of dumping him for not being a good boyfriend, she feeds you false hope and crap behind his back and that's her true character.
No matter how good you would be she would have a Plan B behind your back too, so don't be a fool over this female. She is probably your friend because she is not all that happy, true, but what's more important is to pay attention to what she does about it.
How old are you guys anyway?
Ok thanks for the help and well were both going to the 8th grade so automatically you should have an obvious age range on how old we are
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Pets Expert
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Jul 29, 2013, 09:07 PM
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 Originally Posted by perez1006
thanks for your help.......but she told her boyfriend she wanted to be free and have sometime off and well at first he said no but I guess... then soon later he told her No.......... and assuming she doesn't know what to do
If she wants to break up with him, she just says "I'm breaking up with you". He can't say no to that. That's not an option.
She's making excuses, and they're really lame ones.
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New Member
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Jul 29, 2013, 09:24 PM
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 Originally Posted by Alty
If she wants to break up with him, she just says "I'm breaking up with you". He can't say no to that. That's not an option.
She's making excuses, and they're really lame ones.
Yes I could understand why that's your answer but its not really an excuse because we know about the snapshot on ipods touches and iphones were it takes a photo of what your viewing on their device... but anyway she sent me a snapshot of her conversation where she says she wants to be free and wants time off so actually it wasn't an excuse
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Expert
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Jul 29, 2013, 09:26 PM
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Don't let such a young girl play with you like that. She may be a good friend, but the kind of love you have will make you foolish. Sorry to be blunt, but think about this with your head, not your heart.
What kind of female feeds you words like that and stays with someone they claim is no good? She is not confused as to what to do, she is stringing you along and keeping YOU confused making it impossible for you to think clearly, and stand for your dignity, and self respect.
But no worries, a foolish heart learns the lesson the hard way, so good luck whatever you decide to do about this, because you will need it.
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New Member
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Jul 29, 2013, 09:35 PM
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 Originally Posted by talaniman
Don't let such a young girl play with you like that. She may be a good friend, but the kind of love you have will make you foolish. Sorry to be blunt, but think about this with your head, not your heart.
What kind of female feeds you words like that and stays with someone they claim is no good? She is not confused as to what to do, she is stringing you along and keeping YOU confused making it impossible for you to think clearly, and stand for your dignity, and self respect.
But no worries, a foolish heart learns the lesson the hard way, so good luck whatever you decide to do about this, because you will need it.
I understand what your trying to say... I think through my head about this over and over again... and what my hearts thinks yet I am not sure what to go with... my mind or heart
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Expert
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Jul 29, 2013, 09:47 PM
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The heart does not think, and only knows what it wants, your head is where the brain is and the brain's only purpose is to think. So think, do her words and actions match?
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New Member
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Jul 29, 2013, 09:59 PM
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 Originally Posted by talaniman
The heart does not think, and only knows what it wants, your head is where the brain is and the brain's only purpose is to think. So think, do her words and actions match?
Ok well since you put in a way by saying that "does her words and actions match"... yes they match because I really do pay attention to anyone's actions around me because not everyone knows what a persons actions or words can effect you in a way... if you know what I mean about that
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Pets Expert
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Jul 29, 2013, 10:01 PM
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 Originally Posted by perez1006
Yes I could understand why that's your answer but its not really an excuse because we know about the snapshot on ipods touches and iphones were it takes a photo of what your viewing on their device.....but anyways she sent me a snapshot of her conversation where she says she wants to be free and wants time off so actually it wasn't an excuse
Okay, so you're telling me she wants to break up with her boyfriend, he said no, and now she can't break up with him because he's not allowing her to?
Sit girl! Sit! Heel! Lay down! Roll over! Bad girl, go into the corner. Obey! Obey! Obey!
Do you not see the problem here? If one person wants to break up, they're broken up. It doesn't matter if he said no, it's not his call, he doesn't own her, he's not her master. If she doesn't have the spine to say "I don't want to be with you" and walk away, then she's either a complete idiot, or his slave. Either one is not ideal dating material.
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New Member
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Jul 29, 2013, 10:10 PM
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 Originally Posted by Alty
Okay, so you're telling me she wants to break up with her boyfriend, he said no, and now she can't break up with him because he's not allowing her to?
Sit girl! Sit! Heel! Lay down! Roll over! Bad girl, go into the corner. Obey! Obey! Obey!
Do you not see the problem here? If one person wants to break up, they're broken up. It doesn't matter if he said no, it's not his call, he doesn't own her, he's not her master. If she doesn't have the spine to say "I don't want to be with you" and walk away, then she's either a complete idiot, or his slave. Either one is not ideal dating material.
Well your right about that he doesn't own her at all and yes I see the problem but correct me if am wrong... "am sure she haven't been in this type position before therefore I assuming she doesn't know what she's doing"
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Pets Expert
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Jul 29, 2013, 10:22 PM
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 Originally Posted by perez1006
Well your right about that he doesn't own her at all and yes I see the problem but correct me if am wrong...... "am sure she haven't been in this type position before therefore I assuming she doesn't know what she's doing"
Okay, let's cut to the chase here. You want to know if you should ask her out. She has a boyfriend, she's supposedly tried to break up with him but he won't allow her to. So ask her out. Then she can turn you down, or her boyfriend can tell you exactly what he supposedly told her "no". I'm sure he'll do more than merely tell you when you ask out his girlfriend.
Bottom line, you asked a question, we answered it, you have nothing but excuses to paint this girl as the perfect angel, the perfect girl for you. If she wanted to be single, she'd be single. She's not, so that's her choice. If you want to be the douche that asks out a girl that's dating someone else, only to be turned down, then go for it. It's your choice.
I'm done. You don't want advice, you want someone to tell you what you want to hear, not the truth.
Good luck.
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Entomology Expert
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Jul 29, 2013, 10:25 PM
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Me? I'd simply ask her out! She sounds perfect and like she is stuck with him even though she doesn't want to be. You asking her out will allow her to become free from him. So what are you waiting for?
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Pets Expert
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Jul 29, 2013, 10:26 PM
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 Originally Posted by odinn7
Me? I'd simply ask her out! She sounds perfect and like she is stuck with him even though she doesn't want to be. You asking her out will allow her to become free from him. So what are you waiting for?
Odinn, you forget to engage the sarcasm font. Just fyi.
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