[TRISTE ET SEUL]

I was in the same situation as you except we were both married. He started telling me that he loved me but all he would pay for was the hotel. At the moment I really believed that I was in love w/ him because he paid attention to me {on th phone} more than my husband did. This lasted for about a year 1/2, until I met this other guy and he swept me off my feet and for him I left my husband and my lover.But truthfully now that I am over that situation I believe that It was just the rush . I was in love with the excitement, and the fact that we might get caught. I would sometimes end up f@#*ing him at his house, in every part of it. I used to feel real dirty at times because to state the truth the sex wasn't even that good. I am really glad that I am no longer w/ him. Hope this helps

[smoothy]

You'll have to find another job. But never get emotionally attached to anyone you work with. The outcome is never pretty.

And remember there are lots of single guys out there, meeting one should never be difficult. And no I'm not one of them.

[isis16]

I too have been there although he did a lot of things for me, bought me things and the holidays I did get to see him sometime before the wife did, however after 4 years it just got old and I believed I deserved more than I was getting from him therefore I chose to move on and I do understand what you are feeling I was there also but I had to make a decision if I didn't stand for something I would fall for anything. So I chose to let it go and move on and I haven't looked back and I truly don't have any regrets.

[riley1227]

Is there anyone out there that can help stop my heart from being in love with a married man. Have been having an affair with my boss for 2 years now. Guess I really can't call it an affair. Never takes me anywhere and never buys me stuff for Christmas, Valentine's or Birthday. Best word for it would be f**k buddies, sadly. Anyway, the lust is gone and now my emotions are trying to take over. I want him, I love him and now have become sad and blue and all alone. Everything I have checked out on the web about married men is true. I know, deep down, I deserve more and better than this. He stepped into my life when I was very alone and not feeling very desireable. Any words would be appreciated.

Been there, done that. If you don't want to be a homewrecker (or even if you do, but he won't break it off) then quit that job and start over.
Same thing happened to me and I am so ashamed (8 years later.) Really, get away unless you want to get hurt worse and hurt others (his wife and/or kids) in the meanwhile.

[EtaCarinae]

Seems like most people always want what they can't have. What did you expect? Maybe you should put your heart in check and realize how selfish your sexual relationship with this married man was. You need to find some self respect and realize that any man that cheats on his wife at the risk of losing his family will surely cheat on you next. You should also try to find respect for your gender and how hard most women have to work to keep a marriage together and how hard it is with so many lonely women who feel undesirable and are willing to indulge in sex with a married man for their own selfish needs. Seems to me your feelings come from the possibility he might eventually reject you. You allow his sexual attraction to validate your insecuruties you will have a bigger mess to deal with when the sex dies out. Do yourself a favor figure out where your spine went and try to respect yourself and realize when you settle for less then all you get is less. End it now and find a new job or stay there and if you think you felt lonely and undesirable before imagine adding used, rejected and ashamed to that and try to figure out was it worth it

[pragjourd]

Some of you make it look like you are so perfect. Perhaps you have been lucky so far to have experience happiness in a relationship. I am sure there are still some good people around and not all men are bad. Who knows who and when you are going to fall in love with? Yes love! It is a personal and unique feeling and believe me you know it when it happens. What makes a married man different from a single man is the paper signed but things happens and people fall out love even with vows. Why not try to be understanding cause you don't know what the future holds or what's going on inn your own life because a man cheats for different reasons. He might be in a marriage where the love is gone or they have become strangers under the same roof but because they have children, they mutually agreee to pretend because they do not want to disturb their children specially young ones. If a woman falls in love with a man who did not tell her he was married until after she has fallen in love with him, what is she to do. Keep on loving this man and not worry about what others say, it may be the one chance she will have to be happy and experience true love, yes, when he is with her she feels good and wanted, why not enjoy every moment, cause the next minute is not guaranteed nor is finding another single man who may be the worst living thing ever. She needs to keep loving the man and not the married person, his wife and family are his responsibility and not the other woman. Live in the now and make the best of it. If he makes her happy, she needs to reciprocate when he is with her, consider him her husband and love him.

[liz28]

Unless that person likes playing seconds and sharing moments here and there, maybe they should get involved with a married man. Getting involved with a married man is wrong even though you might not know from the start but once you find out that person should leave. Why would you want to stay somewhere where that person is unable to give you their all, while your feeling grow?

To progjord, this post is old and maybe you might feel it's okay to date a married man, many people don't. If a person is unhappy in a marriage its best to leave, even if kids are involved because they can pick up on these things too.

[NeedSomeHelp23]

Is there anyone out there that can help stop my heart from being in love with a married man. Have been having an affair with my boss for 2 years now. Guess I really can't call it an affair. Never takes me anywhere and never buys me stuff for Christmas, Valentine's or Birthday. Best word for it would be f**k buddies, sadly. Anyway, the lust is gone and now my emotions are trying to take over. I want him, I love him and now have become sad and blue and all alone. Everything I have checked out on the web about married men is true. I know, deep down, I deserve more and better than this. He stepped into my life when I was very alone and not feeling very desireable. Any words would be appreciated.

I understand what you are going through. I was in this situation as well. I know you have heard it and read it just as I had, but you can't keep making excuses for why he treats you the way he does. He is with her and he is not going to leave her. I had to learn it the hardway and thank God I did because he is the biggest scumbag in the world. He cheated on me, the person he was cheating on his wife with. I felt like an a**hole but it definitely helped me to forget him. You already know that you deserve better you just NEED to believe that. Why would he leave his wife for you anyway? You are giving him all he wants. He is a loser and you should feel bad that his wife is married to such a prick. Cut him off and all the stuff that he tells you (that he loves you, he would want to be with you but he is "stuck", its complicated) that's all BS because if anyone was truly unhappy in ANY situation they would get out of it. I know its hard BELIEVE ME I know, but its something you got to do... you need to get rid of him and start all the pain that I k now you will feel, but at least start the process so you can find someone who wants you and just you.