[tifforia]

I have been single for 4 years (whith the odd fling here and there but even that seems so long ago now) I'm only 21, I know I'm still young and have plenty time to settle down but I'm not even looking for that just now. All the guys I'm interested in (and I'm only interested in them because they started it by flirting and txting first) only seem interested for about a week, I don't even get the chance to have a little fun first, then they just stop texting and flirting and move on to the next girl. I know I shouldn't let guys like that bother me and my girlfriends all say he's not worth it etc but its starting to really get me down, this happens with every guy and I don't know what I'm doing wrong, they all just seem to want to be friends, nothing more. Like I said I'm not going out looking for a full blown relationship, just a bit of fun, someone to go on a few dates with then maybe see were it goes but I don't ever even get the chance for fun, they seem to loose interest after a week no matter what I do. I don't tell they guy what I'm looking for (it doesn't usually come up in conversation) I don't mean to be big headed I just want readers to understand a bit better, I'm fit, I'm attractive, I'm fun, I have my own flat, a great job, I have a lot going for me but my love life is completely non existent. All the guys I know (even friends) are either in a relationship or are total players (again that only seem interested in me for about a week) I don't spill my guts and tell guys everything there is to know about me, I'm not all the way forward at first (not sure what sort of words are appropriate on this site) but I'm not a nun either, I'm not sure were I'm going wrong? I have allways believed when girls have these kind of problems with guys being players that its not the girls fault, the guy is just a player but when it happens with virtually every single guy I'm interested in I'm starting to change my mind about who's fault it is. And as I said I only show interest in them after they show interest in me so I'm not going after guys who show no sign of liking me.

[jeep2005]

Howdy: As I read your question, I wondered why you are so intent in meeting a man instead of enhancing your own life? School, job, becoming independent, enjoying life. A man will never ever fulfill what you are missing in your life. You may think so - however, your generation seems to want what you want now - NOT WHAT YOU NEED!

If you were happy, secure and content in the inside, you wouldn't be so intense in your search of a man. Independency and feeling secure with yourself is very attractive to men. I can bet you probably act desperate and let everyone know you want to find a significant other.

Divorces are 60% and over. A person you want in your life should be someone who is ready to be faithful and one-on-one - not a booty call. You are way to young to want to be tied to one person - please talk to a therapist or grandma or grounded friends. Once you realize you only need you to be happy... your life path will become more clear.

Grandma

[J_9]

I agree with the above. I also want to add that texting is so impersonal and completely overrated. You have to do things together in person to keep them interested.

[tifforia]

Howdy: As I read your question, I wondered why you are so intent in meeting a man instead of enhancing your own life? School, job, becoming independent, enjoying life. A man will never ever fulfill what you are missing in your life. You may think so - however, your generation seems to want what you want now - NOT WHAT YOU NEED!

If you were happy, secure and content in the inside, you wouldn't be so intense in your search of a man. Independency and feeling secure with yourself is very attractive to men. I can bet you probably act desperate and let everyone know you want to find a significant other.

Divorces are 60% and over. A person you want in your life should be someone who is ready to be faithful and one-on-one - not a booty call. You are way to young to want to be tied to one person - please talk to a therapist or grandma or grounded friends. Once you realize you only need you to be happy.......your life path will become more clear.

Grandma

I am happy with my life, like I said I know I'm attractive, I've got fantastic friends, my dream job, amazing family, my own flat I adore I know people say you can't have it all and I'm not looking for a ring or to be tied down, just a bit of fun, there are things a man can give you that friends, family, jobs and hobbies cant.

[tifforia]

I don't 'act desperate' I am verry confident and everyone coments how secure and together I am and most of the time I act cheeky and cocky and I have the men chasing after me, problem is after about a week they loose interest and that's the part I don't understand. I am the exact type of girl these guys would go with (not because I am trying to be that kind of girl, I just am) things will be going great and all of a suden the guy just moves on

[kctiger]

What kind of guys are you attracted to? What kind of guys do you find attracted to you? Do you give the guys you are talking to a hint that you are interested in them, or do you make them do all of the work? 99% of the time a girl thinks a guy is a "player" she is wrong. For some reason I have the distinct non-pleasure of being thrown under the "player" bus just because I have a confident demeanor and like to talk to many women. Guys like interesting women just as much as girls like interesting men.

What exactly happens within this week timeframe that they seem to lose interest? Do you two just text back and forth, with no close, personal contact (face to face)? To me, that is extremely boring and frankly it is a turn off after about two days of worthless texting. Do you ever go out on a limb and ask the guy to lunch or dinner, or some other casual get together?

Lastly, I NEVER, and I mean NEVER chase after cocky women. I hope you meant confident instead. If a women thinks they are better than me, I can assure you she won't be lucky enough to make eye contact with me. If you come across as "cocky" as you say, then I truly don't know what man in his right mind would chase you. No disrespect meant, but it's just keeping it real. You are young, and I imagine the guys you are chasing after, or that are chasing after you, are young as well. Believe me, what 21 year old guys want is a lot different than what real men want. If you want to have fun, go on dates, and just enjoy the company, then you need to go a little farther than texting.