[twinningstea]

When I was in the car with my boyfriend awhile ago, I made a statement about losing weight. Since then, he has been making comments about how much food I eat, and how I should exercise to tone my body.

I have struggled with my weight my whole life, and prior to meeting had lost excessive weight due to change of diet and exercise. (about 60 lbs.) I am 5'4 and weigh 130lbs. However before I met him, I stopped working out; and just have adopted a very restricted diet.
When I was eating the other day, I was talking about how eating spicy foods make you consume less and boost your metabolism; he made a snide comment about how much I was eating. Later that day, he said that if I don't tone, he might lose interest. It really shattered myself esteem and confidence and just hurt.

I don't really know why I'm typing this all out, I just want someone to talk to; or advice, this is really a first for me. I really do want to tone, but I don't want it to be a make or break in our relationship. I don't know what to do or say to him.

[N0help4u]

Doesn't sound like you need to lose much if any weight. I am 132 -5'2'' and all I need to lose is about 12 lbs. You probably need to tone more than lose but at that weight I say he is being shallow and knit picky. On the other hand, maybe you need to lose a lot of weight (how much he weigh?)

[busymomma2013]

Sounds like your boyfriend is an a**hole! Sorry!

From what you have said, your weight is fine.

Don't let him disrespect you like that!

If you want to be with him despite his rude comments, I would let him know that the way he talks to you hurts your feelings.

Tell him that you care about what he thinks, but he could be more respectful in the way he conveys his feelings about your weight to you.

Work on whatever toning you believe you need to do, but please do not do it just to please him!

[odinn7]

He's a jerk. Pick something about him and tell him that he needs to change that because you are thinking you may lose interest if he doesn't.

[Wondergirl]

I know what weight you need to lose -- it's a male and weighs x number of pounds.

[jaidjen]

I think your boyfriend is being insensitive about the weight issue.

However, because I had this same scenario happen to me before, I would like to give you a different perspective.

I asked my boyfriend why he kept on bringing up my weight and how much I eat and stuff after I told him my desire to lose weight. He was harsh, like your boyfriend, telling me that he might leave me if I don't tone down on eating. I had enough of the put downs so I asked him why is he being so insensitive and being a first class . What he told me was interesting. He said that he was trying to motivate me. He said that he knew my desire to lose weight and how I respond to challenges so by constantly challenging me to the point that he's being insensitive, it might trigger in me the desire to really lose weight. He said that by also putting it out there that I might lose him, he's hoping that it will also be a motivation for me to lose weight.

I thanked my boyfriend but I told him to lay off the insensitive remarks because it is just making me resent him and creating self esteem issues. He stopped doing it after I asked him to.

I am not saying that this is what your boyfriend is doing. You know him better than I do. I am just sharing my own personal experience.

I guess my point is talk to your boyfriend and express how you feel about his put downs and snide remarks. If he was just saying that to be an then you know what weight you have to lose (the first class a-hole, insensitive bf).

[Homegirl 50]

That is a totally insensitive thing to say. If your need to tone would make him lose interest, his interest in your is rather shallow to begin with.
Tone and lose weight for yourself, not to keep some jerk around. I would lose interest in him Now!