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manic_upset · Mar 25, 2007, 11:39 AM

OK everyone I SERIOUSLY need HELP!

I have been texting a lad for over 10 months from work, we have gradually got more and more close. At the end of the day I KNOW I shouldn't be interested in him, as he still needs to grow up a bit, he smokes weed and he can have quite a bad temper. But when he is with me and its just us two (like in work, as I have never met him for a date) he is such a different person he is totally 100% grown up, really friendly, really romantic etc etc, its just when he is around others he acts immature etc. also his texts are always really caring and thoughtful and he always sends me nice emails and things.

However last week he asked me on a date, I knew I had to tell me mum, and she told me that I had to stay clear and it would upset her enormously if I got with this guy from work.

My mum tried to tell me that it was just the attention I like, and that I really wasn't into him, but I think its different. I CANNOT get him out my head, he is the first thought in the morning, the last at night and about million others throughout the day, I sit and stare at my phone waiting for his texts, I can't stop staring at him in work and the more I think the worse I feel knowing nothing can happen.

Now I told him nothing can happen he took it badly at first, he cried, and spent a week really down, he gradually seems to be getting happier although I still wouldn't say he is normal, we still speak and he says we can still be good mates, but things have already changed he doesn't speak as much, he doesn't have the laugh he did with me.

The things that upsets me the most though it that I can't get over him, I'm still madly obsessed, still have all these thoughts and feelings for him, and I still sit and wait for his texts, ill wait up until gone 3am just on the chance he might text (as he used to text me everyday, but since I told him nothing can happen, we said the texts must stop!)

But I can't tell you how much tis getting me down, how can I get over him? I've tried everything but I want to be alone all the time, I don't want to talk to anyone, I'm pigging out on food when I really shouldn't be and my head is just full of mised feelings and thoughts and mainly HIM!

Its effecting everything and especially my college work, I KNOW a man should never cause this much damage and I should just forget him but I SERIOUSLY CANT!

Please please please help, I am absolutely desperate, as it is tearing me apart in everywway possible!

talaniman · Mar 25, 2007, 12:32 PM

For one you are expecting too much from this guy as he has feelings for more than friendship, which you have said no to. Understandable he will be disappointed and back off. How old are you anyway as your mom still has a lot of influence over your decisions and choices. Whether you know it or not seeing him at work will only cause you to wonder about what if even more. You need to talk to someone to guide you through the process of moving on. Get something to keep you busy.

manic_upset · Mar 25, 2007, 12:48 PM

Thanks for getting back, for starters I'm 18, but I come from a VERY strict family! Who as far as I'm concerned will always have great influence over my life!
I know he has feelings and I appreciate that, but he knows I like him and I know he likes me, and he also knows nothing can happen because for what my parents say.
I know I shouldn't like him due to what he does and how he had two sides, but I can't help myself because of the side that I see of him, and I have told myself that is his true side and we have just become so close over the past 10 months!
Its causing hell!