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    sushmita585's Avatar
    sushmita585 Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jul 4, 2013, 07:11 AM
    Single sided love.
    It’s a long story. We were best friends. Even he considered me his best friend, or sometimes more than that. Firstly I considered him as a good friend but slowly and steadily I got a crush on him, a very strong type of infatuation. He used to say beautiful things to me like “you are my angel”.

    Earlier he had a relationship which could not succeed. He told me that now I am his angel after his break up and the girl whom he can trust the most in this world. I could not complete a day without him. He used to text me day and night and became over possessive for me. I took all these things as if they were more than just being friends.

    One day I told him that I have started loving him. He said that I also love you the same way or even more but we cannot be committed. I thought that at least my love is reciprocated. I was happy. I asked him why can’t we be committed then he answered that he is Bengali and I am Kayastha. But all of a sudden next morning he told me that he does not love me all. His caring and sweet talks were just of friendship and his intensions were not of love.

    I was shattered and could not understand that what happened all of a sudden, I am very sad and depressed. Please help me out.
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #2

    Jul 4, 2013, 07:22 AM
    If it is too hard on you to accept being only his angel and best friend maybe you need to tell him you can not talk with him any more because your feelings are too deep and its crushing you.
    none12345's Avatar
    none12345 Posts: 1,439, Reputation: 234
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    #3

    Jul 4, 2013, 04:06 PM
    You were his rebound. You need to forget about this person otherwise you'll just get hurt.
    sushmita585's Avatar
    sushmita585 Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Jul 4, 2013, 08:37 PM
    But can you tell me why he did this to me? What sort of feelings does he have when he said thet he can't complete a day without me and at the same time he says that he cannot indulge in any relationship with me?

    If I was just s friend then why he was obsessive for me? Why he got angry if keep somebody else's photo in my mobile(any male frnd). Why he always want to go to a movie with me... why he provoked me to such an extent and backed ff. I am not able to eat;drink or sleep properly. My work is getting affected, I'm ruining my life. Plzz if someone has faced such prbs plzz contact me. Plzz give me advice and suggestions

    I don't want to text him. I have decided that I will never ever talk to him. I thought may be he miss me but I am shocked to find that he doesn't even miss me. He says that I don't want to hurt you and only if you could stop your feelings then keep frndship with me otherwise don't keep. How can anyone be so bad and rude and selfish.. I want to hate him that cruel ridiculous person
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #5

    Jul 4, 2013, 10:30 PM
    You gave your heart to the wrong guy. It happens and feelings change a lot. He led you on and you followed. We have all done that.
    sushmita585's Avatar
    sushmita585 Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    Jul 4, 2013, 10:43 PM
    He played with my feelings?

    I need serious help. I don't have friends to discuss all this. Plzz let me understand the situation.. why has he done it all to me. Is he selfish and now he is escaping? He played with my emotions?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #7

    Jul 5, 2013, 06:51 AM
    Sorry for your hurt, but you had high expectations for something that didn't work. Most relationships are experiments with romance that may or may not last very long. Feelings get hurt when they don't or when they end. Its normal when you go from high hopes and elation to frustration, and deep disappointment and are hurt by the turn of events.

    One day I told him that I have started loving him. He said that I also love you the same way or even more but we cannot be committed. I thought that at least my love is reciprocated. I was happy. I asked him why can't we be committed then he answered that he is Bengali and I am Kayastha. But all of a sudden next morning he told me that he does not love me all. His caring and sweet talks were just of friendship and his intensions were not of love.
    He told you honestly he could not be committed and you heard something else and got carried away with it. He clarified it the next day and reality hit you. Had you listened with your ears and not just your heart, you would have known from the beginning that anything other than friendship was NOT what he wanted.

    So its not all him, and sweet words, it was you and how you listened. You wanted to hear the words, but failed to see the meaning behind them. So ask yourself how you could have ignored his words that he CANNOT commit to you?
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #8

    Jul 5, 2013, 07:10 AM
    He may have been caught by surprise and said what he thought you wanted to hear, maybe he considered trying to date you for that moment but changed his mind that night.

    He was honest the next day, and you should know it most likely was hard for him to do that.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #9

    Jul 5, 2013, 07:58 AM
    I think he was honest with you - you expressed your feelings of love. He does not feel the same way, and he told you so.

    Playing with your emotions would have involved continuing to see you even after he knew that you misunderstood his feelings.

    I think you fell in love with a good friend and the good friend did not fall in love with you. You were there for him when he needed a friend. That's all it was.
    sushmita585's Avatar
    sushmita585 Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #10

    Jul 5, 2013, 09:18 PM
    Thanks dear for all your replies and suggestions. Yes I had only misinterpreted all the things and uselessly hurt myself. I wish I had not done all this useless stuff. I'm not able to forget all these things. I want to for back to my normal life.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #11

    Jul 6, 2013, 07:06 AM
    Now that would be the thing to do, don't regret the past, just resume your life without him, and make it better.

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