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    123chris456's Avatar
    123chris456 Posts: 47, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
     
    #1

    Jul 1, 2013, 09:43 AM
    Why am I feeling this way now?
    My fiancé and I just got back together after an argument. One of the things he said in the argument was that he wanted to get his clothes out of my apartment because otherwise it will make me feel like I am carrying him since he has a lot of debt. He said that 3 times until I finally said ok; get your stuff and leave. We got back together since and he brought his clothes back and just assumed to bring it in my apartment without even asking me. I am starting to feel the only reason why he doesn't want to end this relationship is so he can continue to live at my place since it is convenient for him to travel to his work. (Seems like he is so pressed to get his clothes inside my place) He did not live with his GF of 2 1/2 years before me so why live in my place?
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #2

    Jul 1, 2013, 09:48 AM
    Because it is convenient for him.
    odinn7's Avatar
    odinn7 Posts: 7,691, Reputation: 1547
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    #3

    Jul 1, 2013, 10:04 AM
    Your whole post pretty much talked about where his clothes are but you left out other things that could help us understand and maybe guide you more... does he treat you OK other than this issue? Do you have trust issues with him? Does he help contribute to the bills and rent while he is living with you?
    123chris456's Avatar
    123chris456 Posts: 47, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
     
    #4

    Jul 1, 2013, 12:43 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by odinn7 View Post
    Your whole post pretty much talked about where his clothes are but you left out other things that could help us understand and maybe guide you more....does he treat you ok other than this issue? Do you have trust issues with him? Does he help contribute to the bills and rent while he is living with you?
    Hello: well sometimes he makes things appear to be my fault, but generally I guess he makes me feel good. As far as trust issues, I don't have any trust issues but he does, he got upset with me one time just for looking at my cell phone. As far as bills go, he helps but only when he can because of his financial status.

    Quote Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    Because it is convenient for him.
    Hello yes indeed, but it is kind of making me feel that's the reason why he is keeping me hanging on
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
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    #5

    Jul 1, 2013, 12:51 PM
    He's in your place because you've let him. How long has he been your fiancé?
    123chris456's Avatar
    123chris456 Posts: 47, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    Jul 1, 2013, 01:17 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Homegirl 50 View Post
    He's in your place because you've let him. How long has he been your fiance?
    Hello there. He has been my fiancé since November of last year
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #7

    Jul 1, 2013, 01:22 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by 123chris456 View Post
    Hello there. He has been my fiance since November of last year
    What does "fiance" mean nowadays? What does it mean to you?
    odinn7's Avatar
    odinn7 Posts: 7,691, Reputation: 1547
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    #8

    Jul 1, 2013, 01:25 PM
    OH! I just looked back through your previous posts and now I remember! This guy is a jerk! I've said it before and I'll say it again and next time you ask about him I'll still say it... he's a jerk! YOU can do so much better than him. You are settling for this jerk when you could be doing so much better if you would just give yourself a chance.

    Again... you are wasting your time with him... he is bringing you down... true happiness will not be found with him.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #9

    Jul 1, 2013, 01:33 PM
    You have had so many issues with this fellow that this is but the latest one and I am hard pressed to figure out WHY on earth are you still together.

    Obviously you don't completely trust him, and have only know him less than a year. What will you find out next is my question?
    123chris456's Avatar
    123chris456 Posts: 47, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
     
    #10

    Jul 1, 2013, 01:36 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by odinn7 View Post
    OH! I just looked back through your previous posts and now I remember! This guy is a jerk! I've said it before and I'll say it again and next time you ask about him I'll still say it...he's a jerk! YOU can do so much better than him. You are settling for this jerk when you could be doing so much better if you would just give yourself a chance.

    Again....you are wasting your time with him...he is bringing you down....true happiness will not be found with him.
    Hello again.. Thanks for your feedback once again. But I am just waiting for him to make or say something. However, I am doing what I want to do as opposed to always having to be at my place so he can get there. Lucky thing is he doesn't have a key to my place
    odinn7's Avatar
    odinn7 Posts: 7,691, Reputation: 1547
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    #11

    Jul 1, 2013, 01:38 PM
    Waiting for him to make or say something? What do you mean by that?

    You should tell him to find a new place for his clothes and his lazy as$ and then you should just be done with him and move on.
    123chris456's Avatar
    123chris456 Posts: 47, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
     
    #12

    Jul 1, 2013, 01:47 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by odinn7 View Post
    Waiting for him to make or say something? What do you mean by that?

    You should tell him to find a new place for his clothes and his lazy as$ and then you should just be done with him and move on.
    Thank you for your feedback. I regret now not staying broke up with him when I broke up with him the last time. However, when I break up this time, it will stick.
    odinn7's Avatar
    odinn7 Posts: 7,691, Reputation: 1547
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    #13

    Jul 1, 2013, 02:05 PM
    Tell him he's a bum, he will argue with you and then you can feel justified in breaking up. Problem solved.

    Really though... I wish you could believe in yourself. I see so many girls/women on here that settle for some loser and I always wish they could just have a little more self respect and believe in themselves a little more. I always thought this about my one sister who was with a loser and I see her in so many posts on here.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
     
    #14

    Jul 1, 2013, 02:44 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by 123chris456 View Post
    Hello there. He has been my fiance since November of last year
    I'm wondering what Fiancé means now a days. Is there even a wedding being planned or is that what one calls their live in. This guy sounds like a loser. Tell him he and his clothes need to leave.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #15

    Jul 1, 2013, 02:53 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Homegirl 50 View Post
    I'm wondering what Fiance means now a days. Is there even a wedding being planned or is that what one calls their live in. This guy sounds like a loser. Tell him he and his clothes need to leave.
    I asked that an hour and a half ago -- no reply.

    I suspect "fiance" sounds classier than "boyfriend."
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
     
    #16

    Jul 1, 2013, 03:44 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    I asked that an hour and a half ago -- no reply.

    I suspect "fiance" sounds classier than "boyfriend."
    Yep classier than live in boyfriend.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #17

    Jul 1, 2013, 03:47 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Homegirl 50 View Post
    Yep classier than live in boyfriend.
    And she's hoping for a future, a wedding, that he couldn't care less about.

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