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LilT883 · Jun 28, 2013, 01:36 PM

I have lived with my dad for nine years since I was 3. I have siblings on my moms side and now my siblings are going to live with my mom I also want to go live with her but I don't know if I should. My dad treats me well and I'm well taken care of. My mom also treats me well and id be well taken care of. I just don't know if id be able to handle such a big switch. My parents have raised me two different ways so do you think id b able to handle it I only have till the end of summer to decide so please help me. Remember I'm only a teen. I'm so lost idont know who to stay with. I really want to try living with my mom but I'm not sure.

ScottGem · Jun 28, 2013, 01:40 PM

Its not totally your decision. To change custody, your mom has to file for a modification with the court. Unless your father agrees to let you move.

Then it will be the courts decision as to whether to change custody.

N0help4u · Jun 28, 2013, 02:31 PM

You say you only have until the end of summer to decide so I am guessing there is no court order and your parents are okay with you deciding? I know a lot of parents who work outside of the court on where their children are going to stay when. So if they are leaving it up to you consider the school, and different things that work for your growth as a person. Also the way the courts often do it is give the parent with partial or joint custody holidays, you could go with the other when there is no school if that is doable. Have you ever lived with your mom long enough to get to know the school, kids and things you could do there?

LilT883 · Jun 28, 2013, 06:11 PM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

Its not totally your decision. To change custody, your mom has to file for a modification with the court. Unless your father agrees to let you move.

Then it will be the courts decision as to whether to change custody.

My parents don't care its up to me so you didn't answer me because I want to now if I should go or stay but tnx any way

J_9 · Jun 28, 2013, 06:17 PM

The important piece that you left out, since this is in the LAW category, is whether there is a custody order in place.

LilT883 · Jun 28, 2013, 06:19 PM

Originally Posted by N0help4u

you say you only have til the end of summer to decide so I am guessing there is no court order and your parents are okay with you deciding? I know a lot of parents who work outside of the court on where their children are going to stay when. So if they are leaving it up to you consider the school, and different things that work for your growth as a person. Also the way the courts often do it is give the parent with partial or joint custody holidays, you could go with the other when there is no school if that is doable. Have you ever lived with your mom long enough to get to know the school, kids and things you could do there?

I moved with my father at 3 and this is my first opportunity to move back with my mom but its my choice so should I go with her or stay with him? I'm so lost please help before I have to start school no matter what I'm going to a new school so that doesn't matter and can you dumb down your responses please I'm billingue my dad.lives in pr and my mom lives in fl so I'm fine either or I just wondering which parent to live with

LilT883 · Jun 28, 2013, 06:21 PM

Originally Posted by J_9

The important piece that you left out, since this is in the LAW category, is whether or not there is a custody order in place.

My parents are willing to give the other the custody depending on my choice

J_9 · Jun 28, 2013, 06:21 PM

I understand you are 12, but there are laws that help decide this. Since you do not know if there is a custody order, how about you ask your dad if there is one and find out who has primary and legal custody of you. Once you do that we can answer your question since you have posted this in the LAW forum.

ScottGem · Jun 28, 2013, 07:27 PM

Originally Posted by LilT883

My parents don't care its up to me so u didn't answer me because I want to now if I should go or stay but tnx any way

First, no one can answer the question of what you should choose. We don't know you or your parents or what your life would be like in each situation. If the choice is truly up to you, then it's a choice you have to make.

But, as noted, this was posted in the Family Law forum, implying you want a legal answer. The answer I gave you was a legal one. If you are 12, then its unlikely a court would allow you to make the decision on your own. And if there is a custody order, your parents would be foolish to make a move without the courts,

LilT883 · Jun 28, 2013, 09:16 PM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

First, no one can answer the question of what you should choose. We don't know you or your parents or what your life would be like in each situation. If the choice is truly up to you, then its a choice you have to make.

But, as noted, this was posted in the Family Law forum, implying you want a legal answer. The answer I gave you was a legal one. If you are 12, then its unlikely a court would allow you to make the decision on your own. And if there is a custody order, your parents would be foolish to make a move without the courts,

I'm not 12 I'm 14 my parents won't tell me anything about custody or laws they just tell me to make a choice I was hoping to get a teen point of view I had someone post the question for me so that's probably why it says law when I really don't need the law point of view right now tnx for your impute you were helpful

Alty · Jun 28, 2013, 09:29 PM

Originally Posted by LilT883

I'm not 12 I'm 14 my parents won't tell me anything about custody or laws they just tell me to make a choice I was hoping to get a teen point of view I had someone post the question for me so that's probably why it says law when I really don't need the law point of view right now tnx for your impute u were helpful

It doesn't say law, you posted in the law forum, under the sub forum of family law. There are different forums on this site, and where you post will dictate the answers you get. If you post in the legal forum, you will get legal answers.

You can report your own thread and ask the moderators to move your question to the teen forum, since you don't want legal advice, only teen opinion.

Oh, and the reason we thought you were 12, is this:

I have lived with my dad for nine years since I was 3.

9 + 3 = 12.

LilT883 · Jun 28, 2013, 11:09 PM

Originally Posted by Alty

It doesn't say law, you posted in the law forum, under the sub forum of family law. There are different forums on this site, and where you post will dictate the answers you get. If you post in the legal forum, you will get legal answers.

You can report your own thread and ask the moderators to move your question to the teen forum, since you don't want legal advice, only teen opinion.

Oh, and the reason we thought you were 12, is this:

9 + 3 = 12.

Yes I know my friend was off by a lot I did move with my father at three but it has been 11 years I have lived with him you were very helpful thank you very much

Fr_Chuck · Jun 28, 2013, 11:28 PM

It is not YOUR choice, even if you want to, the parent wanting custody has to file in court and get a court order signed. Also the parent who does not have custody will have to start making child support payments, Many legal issues here,

It is not as easy as decide and move.

Next your father raised you for 9 years, he is the parent, he is the one that was there for you when sick, for help. I could not believe you would even consider leaving him. that would be heatless in my belief

ScottGem · Jun 29, 2013, 04:42 AM

I've moved this to the Teen forum for you, but it really doesn't matter who answers. NO ONE can make this decision for you. There are too many factors, too many personal relationship issues, etc. to advise you properly. Any advice anyone gives you would be from their perspective not yours.

Based on what you have said your parents probably feel they can work out the legal issues once you decide.