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chameleonchick · Mar 24, 2007, 01:41 PM

Hi everyone, I only registered about 10 minutes ago, I really need some advice. My ex and I were in a relationship for over 8 months and it was serious pretty fast but both of us it seemed were comfortable with it. Everything was going great until almost 2 months ago he got sacked for a very stupid reason (we also worked together). He worked really hard there and cared very much about his job. I think it was really upsetting for him but he kept saying how he wasn't that bothered so I guess maybe he was just trying to hide his feelings. Soon after that happened he pretty much stopped answering his phone and the few times he did, he seemed very distant.

The last time we spoke (about 5 weeks ago) he said he wanted to "do his own thing". He had booked a holiday long before he got sacked to fly out the day after valentines day. Anyway, I texted him a sweet message on valentines day and he didn't reply, knowing that he was leaving the country the next day he didn't even bother saying goodbye. I tried calling him many times before he went on holiday and he wouldn't pick up. He's been back from his holiday for almost a month now and he has not contacted me.

I've pretty much accepted that I've been dumped but it hurts like hell and I hate it. I love him with all my heart and I want him back so bad but at the same time I'm very confused and don't appreciate the way he has treated me. I don't understand why everything was great and suddenly he just switched off our relationship. I keep hoping he'd come back to me after some space but what are the chances of that happening? I haven't called him for almost three weeks now- I don't want to look desperate and I have no intention of stroking his ego. Please someone help me get some incite into this situation! Thanks!

chuff · Mar 24, 2007, 04:50 PM

Well I can't tell you why he's not interested in you anymore but I'm guessing it was 1 of 2 things or both.

1. Maybe because you still work at the place he was terminated it kind of reminds him of those feelings and he wants to move on and leave that behind.

2. You were only going out 8 months. Maybe he just wasn't as into you as you were into him.

talaniman · Mar 25, 2007, 08:03 AM

He obviously didn't feel the same as you do, so accept that he is gone and good riddance. He treated you very poorly in the end. Get over him.

chameleonchick · May 8, 2007, 07:19 AM

I know this is long overdue for which please accept my apologies. Life has been rather hectic and there was just something about coming to a page where I literally see my problem in writing on the screen was kind of off putting. I want to sincerely thank the two lovely people who out of the 90 odd views took the time to reply to me! It is very much appreciated.

Erm about a week after I posted my problem- I called him. He said he is happy doing his own thing right now, that I didn't do anything wrong and that he cares about me. At the time I hadn't seen his face for two months and it was the first time we spoke after 1 month of nc so naturally I took everything he said with a pinch of salt. He also said he doesn't know when and if we'll get back together. That's really been my biggest cue to just leave him be.

I have spent the past two months working and just generally distracting myself and Ive realised that being single isn't so bad. Im using this time to improve myself and I'm very passionate about this. My advice to anyone who's waiting around for someone to make up their mind: don't stress about them and channel your energy towards making yourself a better and therefore a much more attractive person. Don't put your life on pause for anyone- I wasted 3 months of my life like that and I'm never going to get that time back.

It is hard at times and I'm not going to lie and say I don't want him back and I don't think about him because I do. The difference is- I am learning to love myself much more and Ive accepted that this guy will most likely never come back and whatever is meant to happen will happen so I'm just going to go with flow and cross bridges when I come to them. I hope I provide some sort of inspiration to anyone else in my situation. Once again thank you to chuff and talaniman for their replies- God bless : )