[Nicole230]

I have a boyfriend that I've known for 12 years. We been on and off since I did have a child, and have done things that he can't get over, but never while in a relationship with him. So that's the problem. He is so insecure and jealous to the max to the point he takes my things, money, jewelry, breaks my stuff, and is very aggressive. He is a very loyal and trustworthy man. He makes me extremely happy, like over the top happy, but when he feels some kind of way, ain't no telling what's going to happen. What should I do?

[smoothy]

Get away from him... he's showing passive aggressive behaviour as well as controlling behaviour... and I see physical abuse in the future if you stick with him.

I don't know how old he is... but if you've been on and off with him for 12 years he's plenty old enough to not be acting like an adolescent. And he's not going to change any time soon.

[Oliver2011]

Leave him, do not look back, do not pass GO, and get on with your life. Do you really want your child around someone that can fly off the handle without sensible reasoning? If he won't go to anger management classes then move on. You should be with someone who treats you well all of the time, not just some of the time.

[Robert Brenner]

NOOOoooooo.. THAT IS ABUSE! Run as fast as you can! You can't change him.

[odinn7]

How does being treated like that actually make you happy? If that makes you happy, you will probably be ecstatic when he starts to beat you.

Get away from him.

[J_9]

He is so insecure and jealous to the max to the point he takes my things, money, jewelry, breaks my stuff, and is very aggressive. He is a very loyal and trustworthy man.

This is an oxymoron. How can someone who steals things be trustworthy?

Do you know the definition of "unconditional love?" Apparently not as this is not unconditional love, but it is ABUSE. Time to move on before he starts breaking you.

Think about unconditional love. That is someone who loves you no matter the circumstances. Someone who will forgive every indiscretion.

have done things that he can't get over, but never while in a relationship with him. So that's the problem. He is so insecure and jealous to the max to the point he takes my things, money, jewelry, breaks my stuff, and is very aggressive.

The above quote is more like conditional love. He will love you on his conditions only.

He makes me extremely happy, like over the top happy

How does stealing your money make you happy? How does stealing your jewelry make you happy? Are you elated when he breaks your "stuff?" Do you jump for joy when he is "aggressive?" If the answer to those questions is NO, then he doesn't make you happy, he makes you walk on eggshells.

He makes you live in fear. He makes you have to think before you speak so that you don't make him mad. He makes you afraid that whatever you do or say will make him aggressive.

That is the opposite of unconditional love because there are conditions he puts upon you so that he will maintain his anger.

You, my dear, are living in a very abusive relationship. While he may not put his hands on you now, I hope not, it will happen. It's only a matter of time.

I beg you to get out now with your life. I beg you to get out now before your child or children think this is normal and grow up to belittle you, if it's a son, or be abused if you have a daughter. The two of you should be role models for the child. You are teaching the child that abuse is commonplace and is appropriate in a relationship. Don't say that this doesn't happen in front of the child. Children know what is going on even if they don't witness it.

This is advice coming from a woman who was once abused like you are and finally got out. My adult children took many years to relearn that this is not the way to treat your lover.