[ksphere]

Before we were married he showed interest in sex, we now have been married 9 months never consummated married. Says we just haven't been on the same page. Dr. has given him testosterone cream, doesn't use it. Gave him some pills, stayed on the desk 4 months. I am feeling very unfufilled, and very sad about the fact he hasn't attempted to touch me in a year. Other than that we have a good marriage but I feel like just a caretaker.

I also have one foot out the door. I do not want hurt him by any means, and do not want an affair, I just feel why am I here. I feel like the relationship is as if we are roommates. Do not know what to do next.

[odinn7]

Have you tried talking to him about this calmly? There may be some underlying issues that you're not aware of.

What kind of ages are we talking about?

I would say at this point, if you are already feeling like this, and he doesn't seem willing to do anything about it, then maybe you are better off leaving him. It probably will not get better.

Try talking first and then take it from there.

Good luck.

[JudyKayTee]

Have you spoken to a professional, a counselor, a Physician, gone to his Physician with him?

I'd be frustrated and sad.

Is he a virgin? Is that a factor? If there are religious concerns perhaps after years of being told it is not OK to have sex suddenly you are married and it is OK and he's having problems due to that?

[talaniman]

The real concern for me is you guys haven't figured out a solution in 9 months and you have no clue what's on his mind. What does he showed interest in sex before marriage mean?

[Wondergirl]

Do you share a bed? Does he wrap himself tightly in his blankets? Does he seem generally socially withdrawn? How is his eye contact? Is there any other kind of intimacy or touching between the two of you?