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    Ineedyourhelp10's Avatar
    Ineedyourhelp10 Posts: 7, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jun 2, 2013, 09:28 PM
    My amazing girlfriend said she needed a break
    So yesterday, my girlfriend said out of nowhere that she thinks we should take a break.
    Our conversation went like this:
    Me"Hey baby"
    Her"Hi"(This confused me because she always said Hey never Hi
    Me"whats up"
    Her"Nm"(Again, confusing because she usually tells me about her day or what she is doing)
    About a minute later she says"Hey can I ask you something"
    Me"Of Course"
    Her"Why are you nicer on facebook to people than you are a school"
    This shocked me because I had no idea that I was.
    So I told her "I didn't notice"
    She replied with "Look I think we should take a break. It's just that I can't stand it when all you say is Idk or I didnt notice Its not that I dont love you ok? Its just that I need a break. I love you it doesn't mean we're over ok? I love you"

    I've been doing the no contact thing and giving her space to sort out her emotions because this is what I read to do. I also read things like its just a nicer way of breaking up with you or that she's dating someone else then if she comes back to me technically its not cheating because we're on a break. This kind of thing disappointed me. I really love her and don't want anything to happen,

    Please help me.If you do, thank you in advance.

    Also this No Contact thing is really hard for me. I found myself checking my Facebook for messages from her hourly
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #2

    Jun 2, 2013, 09:44 PM
    No contact is the way to go.

    The thing is, women have a hard time breaking up with guys. It's a lot easier to say "I want a break", and then let him give up after months of no contact, than it is to say "It's over".

    I would go forward as if you're single. If she wants a break, fine, but you shouldn't be forced to put your life on hold while she decides what she wants. So go out, date, live your life. If she comes back, you can decide whether you really want her back. If not, you're out there living, not waiting for her to figure out what she wants.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #3

    Jun 2, 2013, 09:44 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Ineedyourhelp10 View Post
    Also this No Contact thing is eally hard for me. I found myslf chdcking my fcebook for messages from her hourly
    Unfriend her. Do not respond to any of her invitations to reconnect.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #4

    Jun 3, 2013, 05:35 AM
    I agree with the other posters. Take this as a break up, mourn your loss, and lick your wounds, and disappear from her life.
    Ineedyourhelp10's Avatar
    Ineedyourhelp10 Posts: 7, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Jun 3, 2013, 07:05 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    I agree with the other posters. Take this as a break up, mourn your loss, and lick your wounds, and disappear from her life.
    I appreciate your advice but I can't disappear from her life. In fact in about an hour and a half we HAVE to see each other at school She sits ight behind me. This is going to be so much fun!

    I should add, she sit right behind me at school
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #6

    Jun 3, 2013, 08:00 AM
    That is a more challenging situation, but in all honesty this is more about how you deal with the break up, more than the break up itself. You can and should rise to the occasion and remain cool, calm, and collected and in control of yourself despite your feelings.

    Its important to keep your confidence in yourself, and your dignity and self respect to meet this challenge. Its difficult but must be done.
    Ineedyourhelp10's Avatar
    Ineedyourhelp10 Posts: 7, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Jun 3, 2013, 03:56 PM
    Ct
    Quote Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    That is a more challenging situation, but in all honesty this is more about how you deal with the break up, more than the break up itself. You can and should rise to the occasion and remain cool, calm, and collected and in control of yourself despite your feelings.

    Its important to keep your confidence in yourself, and your dignity and self respect to meet this challenge. Its difficult but must be done.
    No contact at all today. If she came near I slowly moved away.
    Thanks for the advice by the way. No one even knows we'rd on this so-called "break"

    Now I just need advice on how to stop loving her... She has only ever hurt me once, when she announced this "break"

    Doesn't help that our song plays on my favorite radio station every flipping night...
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #8

    Jun 3, 2013, 04:04 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Ineedyourhelp10 View Post
    No conta at all today. If she came near I slowly moved away.
    Thanks for the advice btw. No one even knows we'rd on this so-called "break"

    Now I justnedd advice on how to stop loving her... She has only ever hurt me once, when she announcd this "break"

    Doezn't help that our song plays on my favorite radio station every flipping night...
    Love is the hard one. You can't force yourself to stop loving her. But, eventually someone else will come along, someone that you love just as much, even more. Someone that loves you back.

    As for the song, I suggest burning a disc of your favorite songs, and stop listening to the radio. Occupy yourself with friends. Occupy yourself with things that don't remind you of her. Just occupy yourself. It's your life, you have to live it She doesn't get to decide, you do.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #9

    Jun 3, 2013, 08:33 PM
    I think you can expect to be down through your mourning period as a break up can very much be like a death. But as time goes by and acceptance sinks in you will move head slowly but surely. We all do, and make adjustments to your life as you go through the healing period. Things are still fresh and raw right now, and its tough, especially seeing her everyday.

    But you will get to the point you realize you can love again, smile again, and explore your world again. Just not today.
    Ineedyourhelp10's Avatar
    Ineedyourhelp10 Posts: 7, Reputation: 1
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    #10

    Jun 3, 2013, 09:12 PM
    Thanks so much everyone thid helped me a lot. I'lll buy you a coffee, might drink it though if it's too tempting.

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