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liliesandroses · May 26, 2013, 02:12 AM

Hi. I'm 12. My mum and dad have fights a lot - like divorced people kind of fights. Mum wants dad to get a flat. I have two younger brothers- 9 and 7. The one who is 7 has a form of autism - Asperger's syndrome. He doesn't understand. The 9year old just wishes it won't happen. Don't say this is just a childish worry - Mum actually locked Dad out (not the first time) on Christmas Eve and he had to go all the way to Devon (where my grandparents live) in the middle of the night. We live in Birmingham.
My mum smokes and drinks. Dad doesn't believe in doing that. Nor do I. Mum has 10 a day - and will often have a glass of wine too. Don't think she is abusive - she is the loveliest person ever for my mum, but she gets so angry with dad. But it's when she's had the wine she gets angrier. Not to me, to dad.

Please help me. I don't want my parents to get divorced. Talking doesn't work. If anyone reminds mum about what happened - well, it happens again. I've told dad how I feel but it isn't his fault, and he is upset about anyway. Please give me ways to help calm mum down. I've tried to get her to stop smoking - she won't. She says she doesn't drink much. She might have a low alcohol tolerance. I don't know.

Thank you so much for reading all of this. It's the one place I can share it.

Fr_Chuck · May 26, 2013, 02:15 AM

They have to solve own problems, you need to stay out of it, do not take sides and do not get involved. They have to want to solve issues

liliesandroses · May 26, 2013, 02:23 AM

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

They have to solve own problems, you need to stay out of it, do not take sides and do not get involved. They have to want to solve issues

I don't want to be rude but basically I have to let my dad get kicked out every week? My dad always said that you can't reason with an unreasonable person - and mum is the definition of unreasonable.

Fr_Chuck · May 26, 2013, 02:29 AM

Your dad lets himself be kicked out, You are 12, so sorry, you are a child and can no NOTHING about this, except cause or make it worst. If you did did not want to leave the house, he just does not go, he makes his own choices,