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sweetiepie77 · May 21, 2013, 04:23 AM

Hi all. New here. Quick question.

I lost my hubby 3 years ago and have met a new partner and the kids get on great with him. Should I bring up the subject of a fathers day present for him to my kids or just leave it for now. Kids are 13 and 15 boys.

ebaines · May 21, 2013, 04:52 AM

Obviously your new friend isn't your kids' father, so I don't see why the kids should do anything more than say "Happy Father's Day" - IF he's a father (is he?).

Cat1864 · May 21, 2013, 05:08 AM

How long have you been together?

For the past couple of years, how have your sons been celebrating Father's Day or have they? I know some people use Mother's and Father's days as a time to remember parents who have passed away.

Personally, I would leave the subject alone and be ready if they bring it up. Even if you remarry or he becomes a live-in, I would leave it up to them to decide if/when they feel comfortable seeing him as a father.

Just like your relationship with him has to develop at its own pace so does theirs.

Have you talked to him about whether he is comfortable with being recognized as a father figure? Does he see himself as more their friend than as a parent?

sweetiepie77 · May 22, 2013, 01:19 AM

Thanks guys. Now that I ve written down this problem , and read your comments I realise that it is better to just leave it . Thanks again :)