[lonelyloser]

I have been in a relationship with him for 10 years and still No Divorce
5 yrs ago he told me he would divorce and prove it to me, a yr later he
Still done nothing, when I asked him why he said he's with me not her and
Loves me not her. That legally papers was only a piece of toilet tissue to him.
He also said as long as he paid for his home it's still his, so he goes home
For the Holidays stays under same roof as her, and it really bothers me even
Though he says there is nothing between them and he stays in guest room.
Besides getting hurt so many times, Im tired but so in Love with him, I just
Don't know what to do.

[Alty]

Your with another woman's husband. If it's just a piece of paper to him, then there's no reason not to get a divorce. Obviously it's more than just a piece of paper.

What do you do? Well, what you should have done 10 years ago is not try to steal another woman's husband. Now it's too late. So you either leave him, or you accept that he's married and won't divorce his wife, not even for you, the woman he claims to love. Guess he doesn't love you enough to do that. I bet he also doesn't sleep in the guest bedroom. Why would he?

[Jake2008]

I find it very sad that you would allow this situation to go on for 10 years. That is a very big chunk of your life to wait for him to make good on a promise.

He was never available, because he was never single. He's always been married. It works for him.

Cut your losses and move on. Find someone who is available to truly develop a relationship with, who doesn't come with a wife.

[smoothy]

This is on you... you knew he was married... and you should have known if he was going to leave her... he would have done it.

He wanted his cake and eat it... and you joyfully served it up.

Next time... find someone who is actually available. No start looking.

Incidentally.. someone willing to cheat WITH you... will also cheat ON you. That applies equally to both men and women.

[Cat1864]

I have been in a relationship with him for 10 years and still No Divorce
5 yrs ago he told me he would divorce and prove it to me, a yr later he
Still done nothing, when I asked him why he said he's with me not her and
Loves me not her. That legally papers was only a piece of toilet tissue to him.
He also said as long as he paid for his home it's still his, so he goes home
for the Holidays stays under same roof as her, and it really bothers me even
Though he says there is nothing between them and he stays in guest room.
Besides getting hurt so many times, Im tired but so in Love with him, I just
Don't know what to do.

So for at least four years (counting from one year after his 'promise' to divorce' proved to be worth saltwater in the ocean) you have been playing house while he vacations at his 'house' with his legal wife.

May I ask what country/countries are involved in this mess? This almost sounds like you are his 'wife' when he is working in a different place (cross country, different city or even country) than his 'legally wed wife'. If I am correct, then I can guess where he will live when he retires.

He has the best of both worlds, doesn't he? And what do you have?

I hope you own/rent in your name the place you are living and have your own income. If you don't and anything happens to him, those papers that matter as much as toilet paper to him may mean you losing everything.

In many places you can't even visit him in the hospital since you are not a relative.

His greed may be your undoing. That he returns to 'his' house should tell you that he won't marry you for the same reason he won't divorce her (if he has any real desire to divorce)-he doesn't want to give up 'his' money.

You have made a mistake. It is time to correct it. I think you need to kick him out or walk out. Learn that love is not the only thing a relationship needs. While you are learning to move forward with your life, find ways to rebuild your self-esteem and confidence.

Give yourself a chance to meet someone who is ready to be yours and build a future with you.